Matters of the Hart

Chapter 21 - It’s you over everyone else.

When they say 'Ignorance is bliss', I couldn't agree more.

As a person who understood the art of reading between the lines, I would say that I totally relate to this statement. I mean, imagine a day like that: where the only thing you would have to worry about was which topping you wanted on your pizza and not the caloric value of the same. Or you could worry about thanksgiving and realise you don't have any family except your twin to celebrate it with this year. No annoying aunts and uncles trying to throw in 'farming' as career advice.

Imagine; a day in the life of Thea Hart that would not include any run-ins with the founder of Halloween, a.k.a Caleb Ridgewood (maybe not the founder, but he could share the same lineage for all we know).

That felt about amazing, right? A no-Caleb day would be great.

Now, stop imagining.

Because that's just what it is and will always be - a figment of my imagination.

But luckily for me, I also believed in the concept of applying this phrase to my own reality - a reality where vile creatures like Caleb did exist.

Do you get where this is heading now?

Yes, ignorance was definitely bliss where he was concerned.

But but…

Hold that thought, because what I am about to say now is going to boggle your mind and confused you with a hundred more questions that would run through your mind when I drop the bomb.

'Ignorance is bliss.

Being ignored? Not so much.'

Didn't understand much? Let me explain.

Lucas Alexander Roe was supposed to be my circumstantial confidante. Whatever happened the other day outside the café was supposed to be a dead and forgotten secret that we both never had. Okay, we did have a secret; one that nobody had to know about. Now imagine my surprise when Lucas Alexander promised me to play along and keep things somber and settled and then goes and vomits out every little detail to the only person I had pleaded him against uttering about Caleb to.

Oh no. Of course the waffle group date went well, much better than I had expected it to be. By the end of it, I think Lia was probably warming up to Nathaniel now, or well at least the idea of Nathaniel somehow hanging or just breathing around us more number of times than she would normally have found suspicious.

Luke only kept glancing at my wrists every couple of minutes, thankfully not speaking a word about how desperately I had pulled my sleeves down to cover the swelling and the very visible imprints of Caleb's bacteria-laden fingers.

But as I so assumed that nothing could go wrong in my life especially after I had filled my stomach and my heart over-gorging on those heavenly little Nutella-layered delights, I realised that I am Thea Hart and there was no such thing as 'my day' in my dictionary.

Of course, one after the other, my turn in the right direction was anything but a turn in the right direction. It was like go-karting in a cemetery, without any expectations of a positive outcome.

Ah, expectations! Let's talk about expectations.

Lesson number one: We must never have too many expectations, especially from the wrong clique of people, and by that I am most definitely including a certain Luke in said clique who have an aversion to showing loyalty outside of their band of brooding Labradors. I should have known that Lucas Roe was only and only loyal to the people of his own kind, which for obvious reasons did not include me (since I didn't brood all the time nor did I have the Broody Brother logo tattooed on my forehead).

I mean, what was I thinking, believing him to cover up for me, dhow some loyalty while he was at it? Bad strategic angle. Special emphasis on the word 'bad'.

But for future reference- let's just remember that Luke, loyal and Thea don't mesh well, this way or that.

Lesson number two: It's not always about expectations. Never trust anyone whose loyalties don't lie with you to begin with.

Because it is fake-bullies like Nathaniel Knight whose fierce stare and best friend card works like the Veritaserum.

I knew that deep, deep, very deep down Nathaniel was on a socially acceptable level of niceness, particularly after you break all the fourteen thousand barriers caging his conscience. But his niceness is pulsatile - it comes and goes in small packages and not very often, mind you.

Now, if one were to try keeping something from a self-proclaimed know-it-all, especially when his super-senses are powerful enough to make him bully his best friend, Lucas into coughing it up, here is how it went down.

Luke goes Captain America for Thea. Luke, at the behest of Thea promised her that he would not speak of it to another living soul. Thea thanked Luke (Note: Thea was so grateful to Luke that she thanked him every five minutes. She is just that nice). Everybody recollects the waffle gala with glee.

And then enters the big, angry wolf called Nathaniel, barging into little red riding Thea's impending tutoring session with Noah on an early Saturday morning, demanding answers to the questions he should not have known in the first place!

Spoiler alert: Lucas may have something to do with this and as soon as I realised this, a reminder called REVENGE had been set on my phone.

Concluding this epic turnout of events, it had been five days since then and it sufficed to say that Nathaniel Knight was ignoring me like I was next to a syphilitic chancre on the 'World's Most Unwanted' list. Clearly I wasn't. I might be dental caries though, cause' we all know how very sweet I am.

I bet it was an easy task for him; after all he had had years of practice with that move. No 'we'll work it out' or 'tell me why you asked Luke to hide it from me'. Nope. We don't do civil conversations in this town. We barge in on people, yell at them, walk right out and don't look back.

Oh, did I mention that Noah found out too? No thanks to Nate for that but yes, he did find out and to say the least he was not very happy about it, but at least he was talking to me.

Revised status update: Broody Brother one was talking to me because he couldn't not; I was his tutor after all. Broody Brother two was a betrayer that I wasn't talking to. Broody Brother three thinks I am the betrayer and so he was not talking to me. Broody Brother four- irrelevant and facing a massive boycott as I iced my hand.

It's wonderful what a little bit of icing can do to a bruising hand (pretty much the same way someone caring can work on a bruising heart, but who's giving out references?).

That was exactly how I had spent the past five days. Icing my now less swollen wrist so I could break my mini-hiatus and get back to dancing and preparations for the biggest championship of the country. Apparently that was only possible if a devil called Caleb let me be by myself and not lose his cool whenever he sensed my awesome vibe around him.

Alright, maybe Caleb doesn't think that way, but facts are facts. To him, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Where ever he went, damage followed and if by chance he walked in my direction - it was a tornado of physical, emotional and mental harassment.

It was a good thing I was already stocked up on the recuperation front of this horrible situation. My kit-kats and M&Ms were meticulously arranged by my bedside. Not that they had magical healing powers, but looking at those heavenly items was quite enough.

Stupid Caleb though. Stupid, stupid Caleb.

Please, I wasn't brooding. I wasn't a broody sister yet.

Yet, my mind pressed on the word.

Let's not go there.

Since the one thing which was supposed to keep me away from any potential drama that would transpire didn't work out very well, the Nutella jar that I had placed next to my sweet M&Ms would have to do. That, and a no-Caleb week.

Forget week, I would take a no-Caleb life in exchange for all my jars of Nutella. He wasn't worth one drop of it but still, I was ready to compromise one whole lifetime of calories of calories for his ugly personality- only if it meant his peaceful, permanent disappearance.

Tomorrow would be Wednesday. Tomorrow would be another day of Nathaniel walking past me, smelling like cinnamon buns and rainbow cake. Sometimes he smelled like his aftershave too, but he rarely shaved. Not that I was complaining. It's just that it hurt me to think that I would have to bear another day of him ignoring me. Which I was good at less than a month ago, but now that we were finally getting somewhere, life had bewitched us once again. Why was I not surprised?

I looked to my side where I could make out Lia's sprawled out figure in the dark and her light snores that killed the sigh-less silence enveloping me.

I placed the ice-pack back in the small freezer and pulled the covers over my body. It was the end of October already and my favourite season was almost around the corner.

"Fuck."

.....

Nope. Not me.

"f*****g s**t," the sound of rustling leaves took my already building anxiety to another level, making me so conscious that I sat up in bed, straighter than Noah's s****l character.

There was no doubt about the fact that there was only one place where it could be coming from- the balcony. Oh dear God I should have just switched beds with Lia when she had asked for it. At least that way they would get to her first and I could save my Kit-Kats!

Oh no, could this be my Halloween nightmare coming true?

Every year on the night of Halloween, I dream about a man, clad in a black hoodie and black mask ripping the comforter off me with his bloodstained fangs and taking along with him me and my entire stash of Kit-Kats. My secret stash.

Oh God no. This couldn't happen, not to me, not like this.

I closed my eyes in fright as I sunk deeper into my bed, praying audibly and somehow wishing that my comforter was the Peverell Brothers' invisibility cloak. Wishful thinking.

I heard a soft landing of the feet on the floor and padded footsteps that got louder every second. Please God, don't let them take me or what's mine (including Lia). I don't want to die!

I don't want to die!

I haven't even had my three babies yet!

Babies? I haven't even had a boyfriend yet!

Oh God, I can't die, I can't die. Don't let him take me. Don't-

"What are you doing?"

I jolted, literally, screaming for my life or well, what was going to be left of it.

Well, I tried to scream but a large hand plastered itself on my mouth before the sound from my throat could get any further from my teeth. My scream came out in muffles, petrified muffles. I had never imagined myself in a near-death situation before, but I never thought I would die a Halloween death at seventeen.

"Pweese dwon kill me." That was what I sounded like to my death eater.

"Shh, Shortcake, it's me."

Shortcake.

Short. Cake.

All the gumbo in my mind came to a screeching halt as I heard that one word, which only one person ever used to call me. I gulped, twice and way too harshly as I peeked with one eye curiously open and was stunned with pair of confused, yet glowing pair of stormy grey eyes.

The familiarity of it sunk in and I sighed, more obviously than I would have liked to make it.

Removing his hand from my mouth, I punched him square in the arm. "What are you doing here?"

As the hood fell from his head, the tall, gangly built and the sturdy jaw of Nathaniel Knight shone in the sparse moonlight.

Nathaniel Knight.

Wait. This was that Nathaniel Knight. The brooding, ignorant asshole Nathaniel Knight.

"I was j-"

"Wait, aren't you...like...not talking to me right now?" I furrowed my brows, pulling my comforter off a bit, before pulling it back and hugging it tighter because it struck me that my shorts were very short and my legs were unshaved.

"I was—"

"And what's with you jumping into people's balconies at midnight?"

"Stop cutti—"

"I was terrified! I thought someone was here to abduct me but no, there's just you, you...you ignorant buffoon! You as—"

"Shortcake, if you don't shut up, I'll kiss you."

The breath that he exhaled found its residence on my lips; and it was warm. Told you, cinnamon buns are amazing. For a minute, everything was secondary. My focus fell on his words and what they meant and once I had realised the seriousness and the intimacy they could potentially hold, I would say it was best to shut up right away. My eyes did waver to his pinkish-lips for a bit. Just a bit.

I cleared my throat, pulling away.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I whispered out, suddenly finding the edge of my comforter more interesting than his body as he was sat on my bed.

I heard a soft sigh leave him as he took my hand in his - the injured one - carefully pressing on all swollen areas as I tried not to wince too loudly.

"Does it hurt?" his whisper held concern while his long fingers caressed my cold skin over my wrist that had been iced just minutes before.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes I'm-ahhh!" I pulled my hand back in haste, which he gently caught again before I could move it away.

"I'm sorry," he continued to caress my skin and I could swear I was already healing. There goes my will, along with my heart. What happened to Nathaniel being an ignorant buffoon?

Well, he still was - an ignorant - but caring - buffoon.

"It's okay, Nate." I whispered back, a gentle smile threatening to spread onto my lips as I watched his fingers move along the swelling as the touch of a feather.

But I was going to ruin the moment.

"So you're done ignoring me now?"

Told you, we were having a moment that I just had to ruin. Way to go, Thea Hart.

"I guess..." he chuckled. “You really know how to ruin a perfect moment, don't you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Your Highness, did that hurt your feelings?" I smiled, my every word laced with obvious sarcasm as I tried pulling my hand away once again and failed once again.

How dare he? First of all, he ignored me for five days. Five whole days! And now, he barges into a girls' dormitory and accuses me of ruining our moment? The worst part - he was smiling through my mini out-burst!

I kid you not when I say this, but I could hear him smile, so wide that even though I couldn't see it, it was reaching me and even though I was mad at him, I couldn't help but not return it (in secret).

"I'm sorry I ignored you," I felt him inch closer and that was exactly when the will to move away left my body and flew out of the window.

"It's not okay," I shook my head, looking down and focusing on how great it felt to have his fingers caress my swollen wrist. The pain had simmered down and weird as it may sound, I think Nathaniel had special "Thea Healing" powers. Every time he was close, a broken part of me would be mended without me realising.

But magic happened when his warm forehead pressed on mine, his other hand moving my hair out of the way.

"I didn't mean to ignore you. Somehow I just keep messing things up with you, don't I?"

"Maybe," I chuckled and he joined in, shaking his head.

"It's just...when Luke told me, stop rolling your eyes at me, he told me himself. It's not like I beat it out of him..."

I scoffed at that, literally and audibly.

"..Okay so maybe I stared him down for a solid one minute and he was a quivering mess by the end of it, but that's not the point," he breathed out, making me chuckle lightly. I could definitely imagine Luke a.k.a Captain America turning into Peter Pettigrew - that was how intimidating Nathaniel could be if he wanted to be.

"Why didn't you tell me about Caleb? More importantly, why would you ask Luke to specifically not tell me?"

Because I didn't want you to not choose me again. I almost whispered to myself, almost. But I didn't say anything.

"It really hurt to know that you don't trust me enough for this."

Ouch.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I my head shot up, breaking the contact between our respective foreheads.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Nate," I held his hands in mine, now sitting on my knees in front of him as he looked at me, and then to our intertwined fingers. Slowly I tightened my grip, squeezing his fingers once and earning two back.

"I know, it's just...after whatever has happened between us. I know it's difficult for you to…"he trailed off, sighing.

Something was pricking me ad I didn't know what was feeling worse right now, my current tendency to keep things from him, or his dejected voice.

"Hey, look at me. It's not that I don't trust you. It's just..."

It was my turn to sigh away from his expectant gaze.

But I couldn't tell him the real reason. Not yet.

"It was...it was stupid of me," I forced out, shaking my head and keeping my insecurities safe and sound within the treasure-chest I call my heart.

His gaze softened, the hurt flowing out and life flowing in, the storm in those eyes settling as he leaned forward and joined our warm foreheads again.

"It's okay," he smiled.

"Am I forgiven?" I quizzed his smile in return with a tentative one of my own.

"Am I?"

"Yes," I nodded, smiling an inch wider with every bob of my head. I felt his shoulders relax, a serene collectiveness taking over his features as we sat there for a while, not speaking, not moving, just him running his knuckles over my wrist and us taking in each other's presence and breathing in unison.

Until I ran my fingers over his knuckles and felt cuts all over them. s**t.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, pressing on one lightly.

He shook his head and I believed him when he did, because he didn't wince. Not even once.

But I knew this only meant one thing.

"You punched him, didn't you?"

There, there, there. That annoying smirk had resurfaced again and how easily I knew that Nate was back.

I could be blind as a bat but one thing that I could never miss even under the darkest cloud in the sky was that silly, arrogant, 'Nathaniel' smirk. Unlike facial palsy - his smirk actually looked hot. Not like I noticed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he whispered back, holding the innocence in his voice and I rolled my eyes, slapping his arm, which only made him laugh lightly. Ugh.

"Alright, maybe I did punch him," he gritted out indifferently.

"In my defence, he threw the first punch."

"Of course he did," I snorted out.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Yeah, he did. I wasn't going to fight back, but then I was so angered about how swollen your wrist looked that I couldn't help myself. I mean, of course I punched him. It's you over everyone else."

Heart stops beating.

Breath falters.

Butterflies finding a playground in my stomach.

That would be Thea Hart in a nutshell.

"Wh-what did you just…" words failed to become me as I sat there stunned, just like a statue.

To him, those were just five words. But to me, it was years of lost friendship. To me, it was all my screaming insecurities entering a silent zone.

Nate looked up and for the second time, I winced at the loss of touch of his skin. His fingers moved the fallen locks of hair away from my face as his heated greyness bore into mine.

"It's going to be you over everyone else, Shortcake," he breathed out onto my lips. "It's always going to be you."

Was this what Nirvana felt like?

Like you had possibly achieved the highest level of peace within yourself?

Like nothing was better than the words that were just spoken to me.

Like nothing could feel better than this?

Slowly, he teased my skin as his lips grazed me upwards along my nose and placed a soft kiss right in the centre of my forehead where his minty breath hit the most.

It tingled.

I didn't get tactile hallucinations.

I could swear it tingled where his lips touched my skin.

We had kissed before (the one he regretted but didn't regret?) and that was the single best kiss of my life, but this was...far more intimate and cherished than the previous one. And this one had not even touched my lips yet.

I pulled back slightly, only to see the slight smile on his lips as his palm caressed the side of my face.

"You should sleep now, beautiful," he whispered and my heart got stuck at that one word like the hands of a clock.

"I'll see you in class, okay?" he said as he got up from my bed and it felt like a vacuum again, not just the bed but also my heart.

Would it be safe to assume that I have a potential crush on a certain Nathaniel Knight?

Oh God, I really do, don't I?

I guess I can't really define the exact moment when it happened. Maybe it was this particular moment that made me feel the shivers of romance, or maybe it was the first time we kissed, or maybe it was the fact that despite everything that had happened between us before, he was here with me - telling me that he would choose me over everything and everyone else, always.

As much as I wanted to doubt the way I was feeling right now, the heat in his stormy grey eyes was difficult to escape. The sincerity and promise those words held were enough to hold me captive under him. So much that I couldn't even look into his eyes as I muttered a quick goodnight.

"Goodnight, Nate," I smiled back in the dark as I watched his figure retreat towards the balcony putting his parkour to good use while his abs played peek-a-boo with me from under the hoodie. His eyes locked onto mine for a second too and he smiled one last time before slowly disappearing from my sight.

It took me a while to get used to the reality of the situation here and my fingers acted by themselves and skimmed the very spot on my forehead that his lips had graced.

He was really here.

We were really okay.

Forget Halloween death, this was my own fairy-tale coming alive.

One that Lia thankfully slept right through.