Our Shattered Marriage

❈Chapter 4❈

NEHA

It was perhaps sometime in the evening when I dared to rise from that spot against the wall and opened to door to see if Rafee was still here. If the loud voices were any indication, he was very much still downstairs. 

Musa was humming in the hallway and with the way his eyes were focused I knew he was revising his Qur’an. Somehow, my lips managed to c***k into a smile and my torn heart felt like it was beating a little.

Not all was bad. At least my kids were going to get a good upbringing. 

They weren’t a disappointment. Yet.

“Where’s Hadiya?” I ruffled his hair and he made a face like he always did.

He stopped short, looking back. “Hm? Oh, she fell asleep downstairs with Chachu. Dad said you’re not feeling well. What happened?”

I sighed. “Nothing, it’s just a little headache,” Little wasn’t the right word.

He nodded, gave me a prayer for recovery and picked up the Mushaf, getting back to revising. 

I wore a long shawl, not at all caring that I looked like a mug, and again draped one end of it over my face as I hustled down the stairs. I found both brothers arguing over some business, a long list of papers uncluttered in front of them. 

However, I focused solely on Hadiya, thinking of how to get her off of where she was clinging to Rafee’s chest. Literally this girl could sleep through a tornado. And these two men were LOUD right now. 

Seriously, though.

Why were they shouting?

They barely even noticed me as I stood there trying to catch their conversation.

“With the way you’re handling things, our firm is going to drown in debt!” Rafee’s veins protruded from his forehead. I noticed how he kept one hand over Hadiya’s head, playing with her long hair.

Ramees let out a sigh, sitting there with barely-controlled agitation. I didn’t know how to describe him. He just seemed to want to jump out of his body and leave all the time. There were those signs again. 

Jerky knees. Unfocused eyes.

What was wrong with him?

Was I thinking things up? Perhaps he wasn’t having an affair. 

Maybe he was just . . . maybe he needed to see a doctor. 

I closed my eyes on an exhale. It was a fool’s hope, I knew. But it wasn’t easy swallowing what he was doing. Cheating on me. Me. The girl he’d been so in love with not even a year ago. 

So, I gathered up my courage and strode towards the living room, rounded the table and towered over Rafee, who just seemed uncomfortable with my presence. 

“Uh . . .” Was all he managed to say. 

Ramees looked pathetically scared, thinking I’d sell him out but he gave himself way too much importance. I just needed to wake up Hadiya and feed her something before putting her back to sleep. In her bed this time. 

Bending down I lightly shook her shoulders. “Hadiya, wake up. Hadiya!”

I knew she heard me when I saw her clinging tighter to Rafee. She shut her eyes firmly. 

I did not need this on top of everything else.

“Let me,” Rafee said. I didn’t get why he was suddenly speaking so softly when he’d been shouting not only seconds ago. But I stepped back, removing my hand from Hadiya’s shoulder.

Rafee pecked her forehead lightly, brushing back wayward strands of her hair and murmured something I only barely heard.  “Come on, sweetie. Mommy’s waiting for you.” 

And then she was full-on crying and seeing her create drama for no reason was making me want to burst into tears again, mostly because I was just so angry. Not at her. 

Just at . . . everything.

“I wanna stay with Chachuuuuu,” she sobbed, wiping her nose with his T-shirt. He only raised a brow at the dramatic lady that was my daughter. 

I did myself a favour and stepped back before I said something I would later regret. “Fine, Hadiya. I’m bringing your food. Chachu can feed you.” Then I looked up, meeting Rafee’s eyes for the first time. “Do you mind?”

He shook his head no and quickly broke any eye contact. 

Glad, I went over to the kitchen, warmed up some biryani and put it in a plastic bowl for Hadiya and some other for Rafee. Ramees could get his himself. 

I was done with him.