For the first time in my life I start to feel like a relatively normal person, sitting here with my father, my aunt and the neighbors. I dare to order a salad with chicken and a pink lemonade. I'm hoping the chicken doesn't give me indigestion, but if it does... then it will have been worth it because it's seriously, seriously delicious. Much better than I could have imagined.
We're chatting smoothly, I haven't been asked anything that makes me feel inadequate, they’re explaining more about the wolf thing and every time I turn around, Jake is watching me like he wants to eat me for dinner. That makes me feel all warm inside. I'm feeding off his attention more than the salad.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" I ask my dad, as he's taking a drink of the sparkling water he ordered and for some reason my question makes his throat close up and choke a little.
"He has three," Angie answers for him, and Lionel narrows his eyes at her, but doesn't correct her. That makes me widen my eyes in surprise and ask if it's a polyamorous relationship or something, "No, they don't know about each other. Gracie is the main one, the one I like the best. She's an omega, he met her at a concert and they've been together four years. Theresa's a beta and she's... interesting, I guess..."
"Theresa has t**s this size," Grayson explains, raising his hands in probably an exaggerated comparison, "It's her only attribute."
"My favorite is Elena," Bastian says, "Omega, too. She's nice all the time, but she doesn't talk much. I think she's the only one who really loves Lion, and even though she's not very social to say the least, she's fun... in her own way."
"Wow," I raise my eyebrows, impressed. Lion's face is red and he's avoiding my gaze, "And does that make you happy, having lots of women? Is one not enough for you, or do you just like to feel like you're worth more, making them worth less?"
"Uh... awkward," Grayson mutters, grimacing as Lion stutters, trying to explain himself. Angie smiles towards me like she's proud and Bastian just laughs.
"I'm not judging you," I assure, so he doesn't keep feeling bad. He has nothing to be ashamed of. I know that if I could be with more than one man at the same time, I would be. And I wouldn't feel bad about it, "I'm asking because I really want to know if it gives you any special thrills to cheat on them like that. It sounds interesting."
"Of course not," he replies, quietly, "Look, Midnight, maybe you don't understand because you're a child... but sometimes adults don't feel capable of having a monogamous relationship. That's the case with me. Instead of making Gracie suffer by telling her that, I decided to go behind her back to indulge my own desires and also spare her the pain. That way we all win. She is in a serious relationship with me and I am with her and two other women. And I love them all."
"For God's sake, don't listen to him. He's been a f*****g asshole for as long as I can remember," Angie complains and shakes her head, "Not all alphas are like that, there are some good ones, like Bastian. And Grayson, too... Maybe he's never had any serious girlfriends, but he's never hurt any woman's feelings on purpose either."
"Exactly. I know I won't be good at having a girlfriend so I don't even try, I don't want to end up like Lion when I'm his age," he makes a sound like he's throwing up and earns a smack on the back of his head.
"They’re making me sound a lot worse than I am, seriously," he tries to defend himself, but I give him a smile to calm him down, "I don't want you to think I'm some kind of womanizing asshole with no feelings. I don't want you to tarnish my image..."
"Too late, I already think you're a womanizing asshole," I mutter, and shrug, "But I don't care. Your business is your business and if you love Gracie, Theresa and Elena at the same time that's your problem. And if they haven't realized they're being cheated on then it's their problem."
"That's true. A cynical way of looking at things, but true nonetheless," Bastian agrees, and I smile broadly at him before giving Jake another fleeting glance behind me, "I'm sure at least Theresa and Gracie know what's going on, they'd have to be stupid not to realize it. Elena, on the other hand...she's just..."
"She's too needy to notice, or even bother if she knew," Grayson continues, earning a grunt from Lion, "So, bottom line. Gracie is the main one, she's fun, we all like her, and she has a steady job so she doesn't need Lion's money. Theresa is an interested party girl with little talent... but she's got huge t**s. And Elena is the kind of woman who would end up alone with ten thousand cats if it weren't for her bad boy arriving to save her from depression and loneliness."
"But they're all very loved, and they're all very happy with me," Lion adds.
"As if that makes things better," Angie mumbles and rolls her eyes. That simple comment causes Lion to start acting like a seven-year-old and begin to throw little napkin balls towards her.
Angie complains about this nonstop and I just laugh as I watch them play. I finish my second glass of pink lemonade and turn a little to call the waiter back, but my gaze meets Jake's once again.
He is getting up from his seat, while his w***e looks at her reflection in a small mirror. Jake gives me a not-so-subtle nod as if to follow him and starts walking towards where the restrooms are.
Oh my god.
"Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment. I have to go to the restroom," I mutter, setting my fork down on my plate very carefully. Everyone nods without much thought and I get up to walk to the restrooms, my mouth dry and my legs shaking a little.
Just as I start to approach where Jake is, I regret it.
What am I doing?
Maybe the idea of meeting a stranger in the bathroom to do private things is totally hot and makes me feel a lot of things, but actually doing it is starting to feel impossible. Something I didn't think through. I mean, I haven't had my first kiss or even been close to a man until today when I hugged Grayson.
I'm just not ready for this. I don't know how different a werewolf is from a human. If humans are evil, a werewolf might be extra evil.
Unfortunately by the time I realize that little detail, I'm already in the bathroom hallway and Jake is outside, leaning against a wall. Waiting for me.
I walk past him and into the bathroom as if that was my main objective and following him here was a fluke. The moment I close the door behind me, I start pacing back and forth frantically.
I shouldn't have made eyes at Jake. I don't know what I'm doing. I didn't think he really wanted anything.
There's a knock on the door and I know it's him because obviously no woman is going to knock to get into the bathroom.
"Doll, are you in there?" he asks, opening the door just a little. The bathroom is all alone and he's about to open the door all the way and come in here to demand that I do something like... touch his p***s. Or kiss his lips. Whatever, I know he's not here for a friendly conversation. And I'm not mentally prepared for this, even though I'm wet from just thinking about what might happen if I wasn't a dumb virgin with no idea how things happen in real life.
"Are you okay?" he asks, opening the door all the way and looking at me with worried eyes because I'm starting to do that squeaky thing with my throat that I do when I can't breathe, "What's going on?"
He comes in fully now and approaches me but I step backwards until my back is pressed against the door of one of the cubicles. I hold out my hands like the cab driver taught me and try to follow the steps to calm myself down, but that's made difficult because Jake is so much closer to me now.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I'm not ready to touch a man. I'm not. I just want to keep seeing them through a screen, not be near a real one.
"Oh my god, do I need to call emergencies?" he asks, touching my neck with two fingers and I almost faint because I like his caress but at the same time I'm so scared.
My hands start shaking and I have to close my eyes to stop thinking about him and all the things that scare me so I can get through this.
"I'm going to go get Grayson, maybe he knows what the hell is going on with you," he announces and finally walks out of here, leaving me alone. That makes me feel so much better, it gives me a chance to stretch my arms out more and try to breathe in a deeper way.
"Midnight!" shouts Angie after a few seconds, entering the bathroom. And the scare makes me worse again, "Can you breathe? Oh, my god what's going on? Honey, tell me what's wrong... Did that man do something bad to you?"
"Of course I didn't do anything to her!" someone defends himself, Jake probably. And Lionel starts yelling things at him that I don't hear because I cover my ears and drop to the floor, thinking only to inhale and exhale. And counting the seconds for this to be over once and f*****g for all.
217 seconds later, when I can start breathing properly and stop feeling everything in me shaking, I open my eyes to find Angie sitting next to me, Grayson separating Lionel from Jake, and Bastian in front of me asking if I'm okay.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry," I whisper, and squeeze Angie's hand before slowly getting up. They all turn to me, "I had a panic attack. He didn't do anything to me, he just tried to help me. Really."
Lion calms down when I say that and reaches over to touch my head once, like he's comforting me. I don't know if that's something that means parental love, but it makes me feel happy.
It was a very... rough. He almost pushes my head and breaks my neck, but I'm sure he was trying to be gentle.