Chapter 9
1188 Words
Catherine
Catherine is still a child and I will never touch a child.
Was that how Ricardo thought of me?
I didn’t mean anything to him?
He kissed me because of pure lust?
“It’s obvious to us if we consider her as a kid. She’s still eighteen, right?”
“Although she’s allowed to have s*x now. But it will be a trouble if she wants a commitment while we just want to have some fun,” his other friend said. What the hell? Ricardo was being friends with those guys? How dare them!
“You know what, guys?” Ricardo started. Please, Ricardo. Stop them. “She has done it with someone else. I don’t think she’s still a virgin.” What?
“Really? Well, you don’t mind if I asked her out one day, right?” Stop, please stop. Ricardo, tell them you’re joking. You will never spread a false rumor about me, right? I’m your only—
“Do whatever you want.”
That was the only trigger I needed.
Just by those four words.
Do whatever you want.
Without any words, I quietly left the house. I had to get out. I didn’t even excuse myself to Robert. I didn’t want him to see me like this and let Ricardo know.
I ran and continue to ran, without direction.
I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t even know where to go.
I didn’t even realize it was raining already. When people around me started to open the umbrella and run for cover, I didn’t even try to cover myself. Protecting myself from the coldness of the rain.
Do whatever you want.
His cruel words continued to echo inside my head.
So, that was Ricardo’s true feelings? He never cared about me. I meant nothing to him. He only protected me because we already knew each other, like it was his responsibility.
I hated this!
I hated—
“Cathy?” someone called as I slowly turned my head. Seeing Linda. “Hey, what’s wrong?! Oh, my God! Why are you crying? What happened?” she asked non-stop. “Here, come on. Let’s get you to the café over there. You’ll get sick,” she added while holding my hand and covering us with her umbrella. Escorting me to the nearest café.
I couldn’t feel anything.
My head was blank.
I couldn’t think.
When we reached the café, Linda helped me sit down. “I only have a small towel but this should do.”
“Um, is she all right, Miss?” a new voice asked.
“Yes, she’s fine. Can we have a warm tea, please?”
“Yes, Miss.”
Linda started to wipe my wet hair first before she went to my face. I was sure I would get cold later but I don’t care. I didn’t even care about myself. “When the rain stopped, I’ll take you home, okay?” she said while rubbing my body. She put down her towel on the table after she was done. My entire body was still freezing. Linda knelt sat in front of me while holding my trembling hands. “Babe? What happened?” she finally asked. Her pretty green set straight on me. Looking so worried.
Do whatever you want.
Again, Ricardo’s words appeared like they refused to be forgotten. It had been encrypted into my mind.
I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. “Cat—”
“I hate him…” I murmured.
“What?”
“I hate him, Linda. I hate Ricardo! Why do I let myself love him while he’s so cruel and doesn’t care about me?” I asked. Rather than demanding an answer from my best friend, I was like asking myself.
Why do I love that man? A bastard like him?
“Cathy…”
“He kissed me two days ago when we were out together,” I confessed. “He said he was sorry because he kissed me without my permission. He doesn’t want me to get hurt because he stole my first kiss. I said I was okay. But today, when I go to his house, he’s with his friends and he said the cruelest thing I ever heard from his mouth. He said he doesn’t love me because I’m still a kid. He even accused me of being not a virgin anymore. And he—” I stopped. Witnessing Linda was shocked with my confession. She understood and that’s why she didn’t interrupt me to tell me that Ricardo was not guilty at all.
And then I continued, “He even allowed his friend to sleep with me. How could he, Linda? Why did he have to say that?” This was so hurting to me. I never expected Ricardo to be like that. “He doesn’t love me, Linda. He doesn’t love me at all. He hurts me, a lot. If I don’t mean anything to him, why he kiss me?” I asked even though I knew Linda couldn’t give me the answer I wanted.
Without any words, Linda pulled me to her hold. My tears dropped down on her shoulder. Even Linda shed out tears. I could feel it on my shoulder. She was feeling what I was feeling.
I let them out. All of them.
My sadness and anger.
Until my phone buzzed. Pulling myself from Linda, I took out the phone from my bag.
Richie.
Usually, I’d always picked it up. Right now, I was so pissed off I wanted to reject it.
“Pick it up, Cathy,” Linda said. Seeing a glimpse of anger from her eyes.
And I touched the dial button. “Hello?”
“Cathy? Where are you? Robert told me you were in my house? Why did you go home? I want to tell you something,” Ricardo said in worried. What did he want to say? Everything that he told to his friends? He wanted to embarrass me again but this time right on my face? “Kitty Cat?”
Once upon a time, I loved him calling me that.
Right now, I wished he would just stop because I sounded like a damn pet to him. He didn’t have any right to call me with that nickname anymore.
I was not his Kitty Cat anymore.
“How could you, Ricardo?”
“What?”
“If you don’t like me at all, you should say it in front of my face. Not to your friends.”
“Cathy… Were you listening?”
“Is it wrong? I’m happy that I listened though. Because now I know what kind of a bastard you are.”
“Cathy, listen—”
“I heard enough.” With tears and with determination I had, “Goodbye, Ricardo.” And I immediately turned off the phone. Blocking his number instantly. I had to change my number. I had to be far away from him. I didn’t want to see him again.
I wouldn’t rethink this again.
This new feeling had developed inside of me.
I hate you, Ricardo.
- Writer
