Bound

C. 1: The Move

Soliel looked around her, now empty room, once more and sighed to herself as she twirled in a circle. Tilting and heaving, the room began to look like the beginning of a sunset; maybe she could’ve gotten used to it had she really given it a try…

*No,* she thought to herself, *this would be the last time I would stare at those god-awful pinks walls. They wouldn’t believe it if I tried…*

Her mother had painted the walls pink in an effort to make Soliel feel girly, while instead it had the opposite affect… Soliel lashed out at her mother for trying to force her to be like Kaliope. Of course, she denied the accusation and claimed she honestly thought she’d like it; it was the color of the beginnings of a sunset. They all knew she was lying, she just wanted a relationship with her daughter…

Soliel rebelled and strayed harder; she loved being outdoors and in nature. There were so many beautiful things outside to take notice and enjoy and experience. Sure, bugs were a nuisance even Soliel didn’t like them, but what was the alternative? Working and watching television like her father? Or a housewife like her mother? Or stuck in the corner rereading the same book like her sister?

*What was so wrong with wanting adventure?*

“Soliel, sweetheart, are you ready? If we don’t get on the road soon your Mama is going to have an attitude for most of the drive,” her Daddy warned.

He had startled her and the moment she stopped twirling was the moment she fell on her bottom. She tried to ride the swirling, which only made it worse so she gently laid back on the floor. Looking around the room again, she tried to find spots and marks that held the most positive Inner G.

Memories rushed into her mind like a flood; images of Soliel and her friends playing around and dancing to everything and anything. Mama always asked Soliel about if she ever had any boys that were friends that she could invite over; asking if she’d ever snuck a boy in the house…

“Mama probably thinks I’m a lesbian, ”Soliel snorted at her Daddy.

“There’s nothing wrong if you are Soliel, ”he offered nervously. He wasn’t ready to know his baby girl was sexually active… just the thought of the conversation going deeper made his hot.

“I’m not a lesbian Daddy.”

“Don’t be too hard on Mama Sol. She’s trying…”

Soliel sighed; she was tired of hearing how hard her Mama was trying. Her Daddy had been telling her for years that Mama had been trying to reach out to her; something to do with her past but was understanding Soliel, her own daughter, really that hard? She was her own flesh and blood… her grandmother understood her.

She gazed around the room, memories of wrongful groundings, awkward and painful conversations… the room held no good memories of her and her mother. There were no motherly moments offered to Soliel, her Mama saved that love for Kaliope. Those two had the perfect relationship. Soliel was sure Kaliope understood their Mama…

“Can’t I just stay with Nana? I know she’d love to have me?” She asked.

“Nana insisted you go,” he said dejectedly making sure not to meet her eyes. He didn’t want to see the hurt and rejection… it pained him knowing Soliel would rather be elsewhere than with her family.

He sighed heavily, “Darling, what’s wrong with looking you looking on the brighter side of things?”

“And what’s the brighter side of things Daddy?” She rolled her eyes annoyed at the prospect of anything good coming from this move.

Soliel didn’t mean to be snappy with her Daddy; out of the entire family she loved him most but she couldn’t see herself not living in this house anymore. It was her home and had been since she was a baby; all her friends, how few they were, had been her friends since elementary. All her best childhood and teenage memories were here in this house, in this very room and she didn’t want to lose that because of a bigger house and fancy things.

“Well, for starters, you could be happy for me that I got a better job. It means a lot to me that I can give you guys the life you deserve; the things you’d be able to buy now.”

The smile on his face was radiant and contagious. Looking at her Daddy smile that way softened her heart. He was always a sweet man but he was also rugged and muscular so seeing him this excited was somewhat a rarity. Soliel knew he’d love nothing more than her to stop pushing them away and enjoy the family; his smile would light up the sky then…

She deflated inwardly and sighed. “You’re right Daddy. I apologize… I should be happier for you at the very least. You worked hard for this promotion and I’m acting as if I don’t care but I do. Congratulations Daddy,” Soliel praised closing the distance to hug him.

“And I’ll be a lot happier about the move and a lot less grouchy with Mama and Kaliope,” she promised.

Even though she hated the concept, Soliel knew that she would have to bite the bullet and, if for no reason other than her Daddy, try to ‘bond’ with her Mama and sister. It was a lot harder than it sounded because Soliel had no idea where to begin… she didn’t even know what kind of music either of them liked? It was highly possible that they had the same taste…

There was only one thing Soliel could remember sharing with her Mama and sister. It had been years since they had sat up late night and retold story after story. How long had it been since she’d last seen the book? How long had it been since she pretended to be sleep just so she’d have the book to herself? How long had she been without the bliss Outland gave her?

Her and her sister’s name both came from that book, so it was no surprise that she and Kaliope both felt an unnatural pull to it. The two would play make-believe and would play as the female leads and wait for their supernatural men to save them and the day… maybe that had been what helped Soliel grow from the book. The older Soliel grew the more she wondered why couldn’t she save herself?

Why would she have to wait and not even try to save herself? Men… Soliel didn’t like waiting and least of all on men. It wasn’t like she had bad experiences, she just wasn’t accustomed to waiting for anything, especially when she was able to do it herself.

Her Daddy looked at her with a hesitant grin. “You sure you can handle that?”

“I’m not entirely sure but I do have a plan…”

His eyes immediately narrowed. Soliel with a plan sounded like trouble… “What kind of plan?”

“Aaron, love. Soliel, what’s taking you all so long? It’s time to go,” her Mama called up the stairs.

“We are coming darling,” he shouted back still looking at a smiling Soliel suspiciously.

Before he could begin, Soliel started rushing him from the scene. “You go ahead Daddy. I have to use the bathroom before the ride. I’m coming.”

She scouted him from the room as he tried unsuccessfully to resume the earlier conversation. By the time he reached the stairs he had abandoned all hopes of knowing her ‘plan’ and silently prayed it wasn’t anything excessive.

Soliel waited until she was sure she heard the front door close before she opened the bathroom door and silently ran toward their linen closet. The emptiness of it startled her for only a moment before she bent down and lifted the loose floorboard. Inside was a perfectly, cloth-wrapped square and touching it sent tingling through her fingertips.

“Gabriele,” she whispered. It had been a long time she had spoken that name aloud. The same sense of wonder and enchantment filled her as she stared at the book. The grayish-blue leather was worn, years of use and abuse from the girls and their mother, but it still looked fresh; besides small fingerprints littering the pages the inside of the book was just as pristine.

“This is it,” Soliel said to herself. “If you do this, you’ll be opening yourself to all of that comes with it. Are you ready,” she coached herself.

“Soliel, Mama and Daddy said let’s go!”

*Well played Daddy…* she thought to herself. “Coming Kaliope.”

Placing her hand on the front cover, she whispered. “You have no choice but to be now…” The book began to gently warm in her hands as she ran down the steps and out into the car. She kept a strong face as they drove away from her childhood home, but inside she was crying.

Something told her this would be the last time she ever saw this place and her friends again…