Like the stars

Chapter 1 Becca Have you ever looked upon the night sky and seen all the stars, wishing and praying, hoping the stars would hear you? It’s like the song I once heard, I think it’s called When you wish upon a star. It's a powerful song, and it carries a big message. I have heard it, in fact, it's my all-time favorite song. And trust me, to wish upon a star does not make everything good. And it does not help to wish upon a star. Your wishes do not come true. It's all a big fat lie! Even if it is a good song and even if Pinocchio is a good movie, my favorite movie, it doesn't happen in real life. And how do I know this? I tried. Every night. And I still try. It doesn't work. And yet, I don't stop trying. Why don't I stop trying, when I know that it doesn't work? Why don't I stop trying when I don't have any hope left? Why don't I stop trying when nothing is gonna change? I don't know. I guess that I want to believe that I can start to hope again. That's the only thing I can do even though it's very hard. My name is Rebecca Sims, I've lost my path in life. "Daddy, what are we gonna buy mommy?" I ask as daddy and I enter the mall. "A wedding gift Rebecca", daddy says. "Daddy everyone calls me Becca", I say, though my name is Rebecca. "Everyone but me sweetie, I don't think there's a point in having a nickname if you have such a beautiful name", daddy says and I giggle. "Like Penelope as well?" I ask because my little sister is named Penelope. "Exactly", daddy says. "Rebecca and Penelope my two beautiful daughters with beautiful names". I hug daddy's arm tighter as we walk into a jewelry store. Tomorrow is mommy's and daddy's wedding anniversary and daddy wants to buy mommy something really pretty. "Ooh daddy, how about this one?" I say pointing at a gold heart neckless with a small but pretty diamond right in the middle of it. Daddy takes a look at it. Then he looks at me and smiles. "Very good Rebecca, you have an eye for this", daddy says. Daddy tells the owner of the store what he wants to buy and he wraps it in a thin black box and some really beautiful gift paper. He gives it to daddy and daddy gives it to me. ”Here Rebecca hold this for a minute while I pay", daddy says and I take the pretty present. Daddy pays it and small talks with the owner. Suddenly someone runs into the store. Someone with a balaclava. "LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND DON'T MOVE!" He screams and points at us with a gun. Everyone in the store screams and throw themselves onto the floor. I don't. I don't know why I don't. Daddy walks up to him. "Put that down my good man", daddy says. I hear a loud gunshot. Daddy falls onto the floor. "DADDY!" I roar as tears flow down my eyes and I start to run up to him. But a man who is lying on the floor beside me, grabs my hand and drags me down on the floor, and puts his arms around my head. "Sshh sweetie", he says soothingly and strokes my head lightly. "Daddy ... Daddy no... Daddy", I cry low into the man's chest. I just saw my dad getting shot and killed on the spot. • "DADDY!" I sit up in the bed crying and panicking "Daddy!" I scream. "Daddy! Daddy come back!" The door opens and my little sister Penny comes running inside my room. She jumps up on my bed. "Becca it was just a dream schh", she says stroking my hair. "It was not Penny", I cry, trying to get down my pulse again. "I saw dad getting killed again, every time I closed my eyes I see the same thing.". "Oh Becca", Penny says and strokes my cheek. "Penny please stay with me", I beg and she nods. "Okay Becca", she says. I lay down and Penny lays down beside me and snuggles into my arms. Soon Penny is sound asleep in my arms but I'm still awake. I hear her snore deeply and I feel myself calm down. I have this nightmare every night. It's always the same. And I always get them. Sometimes I get them two times in one night. When I do, I usually stay home from school, because I don't get any sleep at all when that happens. I think I have PTSD but I have never been to a therapist or anything about this, it's just what I think, because of what I went through when my father died, being through a robbery, and seeing him die right in front of me. I have never really gotten over it. Can you even get over something like that? It takes me a few hours, but I finally feel my eyes getting heavier and I finally fall asleep. • "Rebecca wake up now!" I feel someone shaking me awake. I open my eyes. Penny. She is dressed in one of her dresses and I can see that she has combed through her long blonde hair. "You need to get ready for school now Becca", Penny says. "And I need you to braid my hair". "Okay", I yawn and sit up in the bed. I throw my legs over the edge of the bed. "Okay, I'm up". Penny sits down beside me and I start to braid her hair into braids like I do every morning. When I'm finished I tie up the braids with her light blue ribbons. ”All done", I say. "Thank you Becca", she says and hugs me before running out of my room. Ugh. I hate school. I'm in my Senior Year and it's supposed to be fun. But I can't say that I have much fun being harassed by Sally Salt and her minions. They are bullying me and everyone else lets them, the ones who see it. People tend to look away when they become uncomfortable, or when they see things they are not supposed to see. I walk into my closet and pick out some clothes. I always have a hard time choosing my clothes, I don't know why but I have never seen a pair of clothes and been sure that it's what I want to wear. This morning it takes me 10 minutes to settle for a pair of clothes. I chose a pair of light blue shorts and a white crop top. When I start to comb through my hair, my stepdad comes into my room. I roll my eyes. He tries to connect with me. Mom asked me to give him a chance. But I don't want to. I don't want a new father. No one can replace my father. No one! Dirk sits down on the edge of my bed. I don't recall inviting him into my room, and yet here he is, and that makes me irritated. "How are you, Rebecca?" He asks. "Why do you care?" I ask. "You're my stepdaughter of course I care", he says. Yeah. And he's the principal of my school as well. That's why it's easy for me to stay home after a night with two nightmares. "Okay", I say, and grab my bag. I walk out of my room and I hear Dirk follow me, can't he get a life? HE doesn't have to pretend to care about me. I'm not that naive, I know that no one really cares about me except for Penny. Maybe I'm self-pity myself a bit, but if I don't pity myself no one does. "You want a ride to school?" "I think I can manage on my own thank you", I say, I really don't want to ride in the same care as the principal, if I wasn't bullied before that I sure as hell would be after. No, it would be too embarrassing to arrive at the school with the principal, I'äm not putting myself through that. "I'm going to drive Penny", he says. "Okay", I say, not going further into the conversation. Dirk sighs and lets it go. I just roll my eyes. I feel irritated but at the same time I feel like I maybe was too hard on Dirk, he's nothing but nice to me and I'm never kind back. It just feels like if I get closer to more people I've got so much more to lose again. I don't want to care because if you care you hurt too much when you lose it. That's how I see it, that's why I don't want to get close to people. I don't eat breakfast before school. I never do. If I eat in the mornings I get stomach aches, my stomach just can't take food in the mornings, soI just walk to the hall and put on my black pair of high heels. I didn't always dress like this, but my cousin stayed with us one summer and her friend came to visit her. She saw my closet and literary fainted. After she woke up she took me and my cousin shopping and bought me a whole new closet. So I'm kind of stuck with these clothes. I'm not saying I don't like it, I just don't have the confidence to actually wear these clothes, they would look so much better on a girl with good confidence. I take up my bag from the floor and now I notice that my sister's stupid cat has been scratching it. I swear that the cat is out to get me. I hate that can and he hates me. We have a silent agreement that we stay out of each other way. Whenever I pass him he gives me the evil eye, and I always return it. We keep the strained peace between us because of Penelope, she loves us both. I just sigh as I put the bag over my shoulder. "Bye", I call as I open the door. I get three different goodbyes and I close the door. I start to walk since I don't have a car. Dirk offered to buy me one, but I told him no. If I ever have a car I want it to be paid for by me and no one else. I don't want to depend on anyone but myself. I don't trust anyone but myself as Penny, therefor I don't depend on anyone but myself. I think it's just easier to be independent. I walk down the block and walk into the richer part of the town. Our town is kind of divided into three parts, the very rich, the lesser rich, and the poor, there is not really anything in between. I live in the lesser rich part, where the rich lives but not the very rich, I used to live on the poor side before my mother met Dirk. If I didn't have to walk here, believe me, I wouldn't, but I have to, otherwise, I don't get to school. I see one of the doors to one of the houses open. Ugh. My eyes meet with the boy coming out and I'm filled with hatred. It's Nathaniel Evans. Ugh. I hate him. I hate him so freaking much. I wouldn't call him an enemy. That sounds childish. But I definitely wouldn't call him a friend. It's only like we accept each other's existents and nothing more. "Sims", he nods. "Evans", I nod back as I continue to walk. The odd thing is that he walks as well. He always takes his Porsche. Why not now? I don't care. It's just annoying to have him behind me. To know that he's there. I just hope this day doesn't become a disaster.