Prologue
1321 Words
I do believe being in love is a choice, and being in a relationship is a commitment that needs to be maintained by two people who love each other.
I'm a man, and I don't see myself giving too much to the woman I love, and this is who I am now, contrary to what I was doing for Abilene. I never thought that a relationship with the woman who built my life would last this long.
"I want to be a well-known, international fashion designer," she said softly.
We are at my condominium and do not have any plans to go anywhere else, but I don't mind because being with her is enough for me.
"Surely, you will become a famous fashion designer, but before that we can get married first, can't we?" I said softly too. I want to laugh at myself. I don't have tenderness in my body, but it naturally comes out when Abilene is with me.
"But I don't want to get married yet. Masyado pa akong bata para sa usapang kasalan, marami pa akong pangarap sa buhay," mahinang sabi niya sa akin, hindi alintana kung masasaktan ako sa kan'yang sinabi.
I was stunned by what she said, but I still smiled even though deep inside I was being swallowed by pain.
I can't leave the Philippines because I want to be a worthy CEO of our family's business. I want to show my father that I deserve to be a CEO.
Hindi pwedeng sa anak sa labas ni Dad mapupunta ang dapat ay sa akin.
"I've done so much for you, para lang mag-work ang relasyon na 'to," bulong ko.
"Sinusumbatan mo ba ako?" Galit na tanong niya sa akin dahilan kung bakit natigilan ako. I immediately shook my head when I heard the annoyance and anger in Abilene's angelic voice.
"That's not what I mean to say, baby. I'm just too afraid of losing you. Your father promised me that we will get married as long as I obey him and that's what I'm doing. I can give you the world, Rye. Let's get married."
Hindi siya makatingin ng maayos sa akin na para bang may masama akong sinabi. I don't want us to fight because of this matter, since we don't have a lot of time to spend together. I'm already focused for working in the company, while Abilene often comes to Isabela despite the fact that she is homeschooled.
I even betrayed my father just to get a lot of money for Abilene. Maybe this is how I love. I will do everything to make it work.
Ang ama ni Abilene ay kilalang kakompetensiya ng ama ko pagdating sa business world, ngunit nang maging kami ni Abilene ay tila natapos ang matagal na hidwaan sa kanilang dalawa.
'Yon din ang akala ko, ngunit hindi ko inaasahan na hihiling ang ama ni Abilene ng malakihang pagnanakaw sa kumpanya ni Dad kapalit ng pagsuporta niya sa relasyon naming dalawa ni Abilene.
I'm too stupid, I know that. But if continuing to obey Abilene's Father means that I could be with Abilene for the rest of my life, so be it.
Ang perang ninanakaw ko ay hindi naman magiging dahilan ng pagbagsak ng kumpanyang mamanahin ko rin naman.
Kailangan ko lang magtiis pansamantala.
"Inaantok na ako, Gioval. Ihatid mo na ako sa bahay," malamig na sabi niya sa akin kaya naman alam ko talagang hindi niya nagustuhan ang mga sinabi ko.
"Hey baby, hindi ako nakikipag-argue sa 'yo. I'm just saying that I'm sure about you and I want to get married. Naiintindihan mo naman ako, hindi ba?" mahinang tanong ko at umaasa akong nauunawaan ni Abilene ang gusto kong mangyari.
"I'm just really sleepy, Gioval. We'll talk tomorrow. Okay?"
Palagi siyang ganito kapag kasal ang pinag-uusapan naming dalawa.
Napabuntong hininga ako at hinalikan siya sa noo bago magsalita, "Kung 'yan ang gusto mo."
Wala naman akong magagawa kundi pagkatiwalaan si Abilene at kumapit sa relasyong meron kaming dalawa. Wala rin akong balak na isuko kung ano'ng meron sa aming dalawa. Masyado ko siyang mahal para lang basta na lang bitawan ang relasyon namin kahit madalas ang hindi namin pagkakaintindihan.
All I could see in the future was Abilene walking towards me as I waited at the altar.
I'll do anything to make that happen... anything!
But I didn't see my complete destruction because of the woman for whom I did everything to stay by my side.
I didn't see the betrayal that would change me... completely.
The revelation.
The betrayal.
The pain.
The reason for the resurrection of the demon sleeping inside me.
She was my dream, but now she is my nightmare.
Nagising ako dahil sa alarm clock sa side table ko. Napabuntong hininga ako at inabot ang water bottle na palaging nasa kwarto ko.
That dream again.
'Ano ba ang nangyayari sa 'yo, Gioval?' mumunting tanong sa isip ko.
"Putang-ina talaga. Kailan mo ba ako lulubayan?" Napahawak ako sa batok ko at napabuntong hininga dahil sa sobrang bilis nang pagtibok ng puso ko.
This is not the right time for me to dream about that woman.
I fell back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. If my memory serves me right, what happened in my dream occurred five years ago. Of course, a lot could happen in the considerable period of time that has passed.
Did Abilene become a fashion designer internationally? Of course. Ang inirason niya upang iwan ako ng tuluyan. Matapos kong malaman na lalaki pala ang inuuwian niya sa Isabela.
Did I become the CEO of our family's Car Company? I laughed because of the question, as I remembered the day Dad passed the company to my elder brother.
Ang anak sa labas ni Dad na isa sa dahilan ng pagbagsak ko.
Akala ko doon na natatapos ang lahat. Wala na rin naman akong pakiramdam at nagtatrabaho na lang para mabawi man lang lahat ng ninakaw ko sa kumpanya, but Abilene returned when she found out that the company had been passed on to my brother, and unfortunately, she became my big brother's mistress.
She destroyed Giovanni and Bea's marriage for her own personal gain, and when everything got messy, she left again to escape the sin that she and her father committed to our family.
Napahawak ako sa noo ko nang maalala kung paano ako paglaruan ni Abilene nang kaming dalawa pa.
I know we were too young back then, but the love I felt for her was unconditional.
Hindi ko akalain na ang anak sa labas ni dad ang siyang magiging kakompetensiya ko sa lahat.
Lahat-lahat.
Maging kay Abilene.
Hindi ko inaasahan na masyadong magaling mamili ang tadhana ng taong paglalaruan niya. Ang babaeng siyang tangi kong inibig ay iniiputan na pala ako sa ulo habang ginagawa ko ang lahat upang hindi maging hadlang ang ama niya sa relasyon namin noon.
She had an affair with someone else while we were still together, which was why she kept coming back to Isabela.
Nang maipit siya sa sitwasyong siya mismo ang may gawa, tumakas siya. Iniwan lahat ng kung ano'ng meron sa amin dito sa Pilipinas. Tinakasan niya ang gulong ginawa niya, at babalik kung kailan niya gusto, at muling manggugulo ng buhay ng iba.
Ang lalaki niya, ang anak ni Dad sa ibang babae, na hindi ko pa nakikilala noon.
He stole everything from me.
I will never forget my pain when dad introduced my elder brother.
"f**k," I whispered.
I laughed when I felt the pain in my chest again. Malakas ang pagtawa ko pero ramdam ko ang galit sa kabila ng malakas na pagtawa ko.
Isa lang ang nasisigurado ko, dahil alam na alam kong galit pa rin ako dahil sa lahat ng nangyari sa akin, pero oras na malaman kong tumapak si Abilene sa lupa ng Pilipinas.
Sigurado ako.
Sisirain ko ang buhay niya.
No one is born heartless; adversities make them.
- Writer
