THE SHATTERED WIFE

DO YOU LOVE HER?

ALEXIS...

"What the hell Alexis, if this is some kind of a joke...I don't like it! Bawiin mo ang sinasabi mo!" Galit na sabi ni Benji.

Nagulat ako ng dakmain Niya ang balikat ko. Gusto Kong tumayo mula sa pagkaupo pero mahigpit ang paghawak Niya sa aking mga balikat.

"Benji,.ano bang nangyari sa iyo? Bakit ka ba nagagalit?" I wriggle my shoulders to take off his hands, pero mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang paghawak sa akin.

He leaned forward.

"How did it happen? You are married to Elijah, that jerk? Really, Alexis?!"

Bahagyang tumaas ang kaniyang boses. I blinked as I nodded my head.

Kinabahan dahil sa kaniyang reaksyon. Ano ba talaga ang gusto niyang palabasin? Sa wari ko ay nagkatinginan kami ng Isang segundo bago siya nagtanong.

Kunot ang noo na nagtanong.

"So it's really true.." he finally said ng makita niyang seryoso ako at hindi na nagsasalita pa.

"The reason you're here...is because you are really married to Elijah. Hindi ka nandito dahil dinalaw mo ako.." it was a statement.

I nodded again.

"God, damn it! Alexis, why?" He stood up .

"What do you mean why?" Tumayo na rin ako.

"Bakit sa kaniya pa? Bakit Kay Elijah pa? Didn't I warn you about him? The man is an a****le!" Naglabasan ang ugat sa Kamiyang noo at leeg. I never saw Benjii this angry.

"Why Benji..why are you angry?" Ngunit imbes na sagutin Niya ako," Wait...how did..how did you even marry my brother? You didn't even meet him once.. you only heard about him. Okay , you'll meet him , when we were kids. But that was it..hindi na nag krus ang inyong landas ng lumaki na tayo. So how come you marry him?!" He throws his hands in the air.

He almost shouted. No, he literally is shouting.

"It doesn't matter how.. my point is I am married to him and you shouldn't act the way you acted towards me before. Iyon lang naman ang gusto Kong malaman mo...at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit galit ka." I said .my emotions was over my head.

"Because I don't want to see you with him! Is that hard to understand?!"

"Bakit nga? bakit Benji? Bakit ayaw mong nakita mo akong kasama si Elijah...na asawa ko."

" Shut up!"

I gasped. "Don't you ever say that he's your husband!" He said, clenching his fist.

"But he is my husband .."

"Stop it !" Hinawakan Niya ang aking balikat .

"Why?" Gusto Kong marinig mula sa kaniYa kung bakit siya nagagalit na may asawa na ako, and worse, kapatid pa Niya

"Yes, Benji ..why ?" We both turn our heads to the doorframe.

"Mother.." he let go of my shoulders.

"Answer me Benji, why you're acting like a jealous boyfriend to your..." Inistima ako ni Vangie mula ulo hanggang paa.

"..sister in law?" She snobs at me.

Ignoring his mother's question, Benji asks, "Do you know about this mother?"

"So what if I knew. I don't care about her and about that hideous Elijah. My concern is why you go bersek over this girl marrying Elijah." She turned her attention to her son. "Bakit ka nagwawala na parang Isang mabangis na Leon.?"

"Kaninong idea ba ang kasalang ito , Mommy?" He was again evading his mother's question.

"Urgh.." Vangie snorted.

"Hindi mo ba talaga sasagutin ang tanong ko?"

"You didn't answer mine , either."

"I asked you first." She raised her tone. Benji inhaled deeply.

"What did you do, Mother ?"

"That's not the answer that I'm looking for Benji." Nagkatitigan ang dalawa.

They seem to be scrutinizing each other.Ultimo nag-uusap ang kanilang paningin.

It seems to me that they were talking silently. At kung ano man iyon, mukhang hindi maganda. Napansin Ko ang tension sa pagitan nilang dalawa.

I decided to leave the two of them as I don't want to get involved with the conversation anymore.

"Excuse me.." I walked past them but Benji grabbed my right arm.

"Alexis.." he said softly. When I look into his eyes, he seems to be pleading with me.

"Let go of her.." mahina ngunit mariin na sabi ni Tita Vangie. Ngunit hindi pinakinggan ni Benji ang kaniyang ina. Nagpatuloy ito sa paghawak sa aking kanang kamay.

"Please please Alexis..I want to talk to you..."

Nagpabaling -baling ang tingin ko kina Tita Vangie at Benji. A little bit confused with their interaction. What is it with Benji doubting his Mom? I don't understand.

Part of me wanted to stay and talk to Benji but not in the presence of his mother. Especially the way she looked at me. This is not the woman I used to greet a long time ago when Benji and I were playing in the courtyard of this Manor House.

"Bakit ka pumayag na pakasal Kay Elijah? Did someone.."

"Go away, Alexis. " Aunt Vangie eyed me coldly.

"And you Benji, how dare you defy my order? Kararating mo lang, pero ni hindi ka dumiretso sa akin. Kung hindi pa ako umakyat rito hindi ko kayo mkiakita, hindi ko nalaman na dumating ka na pala? Why you're acting like that huh? Anong ipinagputok ng butse mo? Bakit ka nagagalit kung ikinasal si Alexis Kay Elijah, bakit?"

Nagbabaga ang kaniyang tingin sa aming dalawa ni Benji. "Let go of her arm, Benji...I'm warning you..." Nagdilim ang mukha ni Benji bagama't binitiwan Niya ang aking braso.

"What are you waiting for, Alexis? Go to your room.." she raised her voice to me.

"Alexis..! " I half walk- half run away towards the left wing.

Benji called and followed after me, but his mom made sure he couldn't.

"Stop, right there Benji! Are you losing your mind? What do you mean by this stunt your pulling? Is she your girlfriend?!" Vangie shouted.

"No..!" He shouted back

"Then why are you acting like an idiot?! Do you love her..?"

Hindi ko na masyadong narinig ang kanilang huling linya ng usapan. Hindi ko narinig ang sagot ni Benji dahil malayo na ako. I was panting when I arrived at our room, Elijah's room. Agad kong binuksan ito at pumasok na sa loob. What just happened? I was sitting on the edge of the bed, thinking about Benji's reaction.

Anong ikinagalit Niya ng todo? Bakit parang puputok ang butse Niya ng malaman na kasal ako sa kapatid Niya? Andoon na ako na nagulat siya sa kasalan, kung paano nangyari na kasal ako sa kapatid Niya.

He knows that I had no communication with his brother, not even once.

So, yeah..I get that he was kind of shocked. But angry? That's too much. Unless of course kung naging girlfriend Niya ako. Pero hindi!

He doesn't even recognize my feelings for him. I doubt it. And what about Aunt Vangie? Anong ibig sabihin ni Benji sa tanong Niya sa kaniyang ina. Of course, Elijah told me that his evil stepmother manipulated his father to force him into marrying me.

Bakit siya nagulat?

Wala nga namang pakialam sa buhay ni Elijah ang kaniyang Mommy, lalo na pagdating sa personal na buhay niya. Nagtataka rin naman ako kung bakit siya nagdesisyon na ipakasal kaming dalawa.

Yesterday when I arrived here in the manor. She seems to be mocking me and Elijah.

Elijah warned me about his evil step mom. I widened my eyes as realization struck me, this family is not the way they seemed to be in public.

This family may seem sweet in the public eye, but here in the manor, inside this big house, they're not the perfect family that they're showing in public. They're killing each other. They hated each other.

Binagsak ko ang aking katawan sa kama at nakatingin sa kisame. What did I get myself into? Ano bang gulo itong pinasukan ko. Sinubsob ko ang aking ulo sa unan. The angry face of Benjii kept replaying in my mind. Is he jealous? I quickly brushed the thought.

That's impossible, paano naman magseselos ang Isang tao na hindi nagpapahalaga sa damdamin ko?

Sa loob ng maraming taon na ipinaramdam ko sa kaniya na may gusto ako sa kaniya ay hindi Niya ako pinapansin.

"Do you think Benji knows?"

"About you crushing over him?"

"Yeah.?"

"Of course, he did." Matigas na sagot ni Menchie sa akin. I remember this conversation during our last year in senior high.

"Girl, alam lahat ng tao na may pagtingin ka sa itinuturing mong best friend kuno.." Menchie waved her hand.

"Really..?"

"O, ano naman ngayon? Bakit ka namumula riyan?"

"Hindi ha, nakakahiya lang na ..."

"Anong nakakahiya? Ang malaman ng buong tao ang lihim mong pagnanasa Kay Benjie, o ang katotohanan na kahit alam niya na may gusto ka sa kaniYa ay deadma ka lang sa kaniya?"

"What?"

"Yeah, look .." gamit ang kaniyang nguso, sumenyas siya sa unahan ng bench kung saan kami nakaupo. Benjii was kissing one of the cheerleaders in our school. "See that? " Umiling si Menchie.

"Oh, paano, talo ka na ha?

Sabi mo kapag matapos na natin ang senior high school at hindi pa rin siya manliligaw sa iyo ay tigilan mo na ang pantasya mo sa kaniya."

" Did I tell you that? I said after college...aray !" Kinurot ni Menchie ang tagiliran ko.

"Ang daya naman nito , that is not what you said! " Tumahimik ka, nakakahiya naman, will you please sit down."

Hinila ko siya pabalik sa upuan dahil bigla siyang tumayo.

"Ikaw eh, kung gusto mo pang magpakatanga bahala ka na nga sa buhay mo. Concern lang ako sa iyo. Ano ba ang nakita mo sa kaniya maliban sa pagiging guwapo Niya at matangkad at mayaman.."

Tumawa ako.

"See, ikaw na rin ang nagsabi niyan.pero kidding aside, it's not just in physical Menchie..I really like Benjie..no let me rephrase that. I really love him..' I said dreamily. He's almost perfect and.."

"And arrogant jerk." Menchie said.

"Hey , kaibigan mo rin naman si Benji ah, how can you say that?" Saway ko sa Kaniya.

Umismid si Menchie, "kaya nga alam Kong hambog at arogante iyang first love mo dahil nga kaibigan ko rin siya. Kilalang ko na rin siya mula ulo hanggang paa. Hambog , manyak..

" Ha?"

"Oo, manyak nga , tingnan mo o, hindi na sila nahiya ni Mildred o, kahit maraming tao ang nakatingin sa kanila. Nagtutukaan sila. Nasaan na ba ang guard."

Naputol ang aking pagmuni-muni ng napansin Kong basa na pala ng luha ang unan ko. I was crying for Benji. Bakit nga ba hindi Niya ako mapansin?

"There's nothing wrong with you , ang ganda mo kaya. You have the most beautiful legs that I have ever even here on the campus. Maganda rin ang hubog ng iyong katawan."

"Mas maganda ka kesa mga babae ni Benji no?" Nakaismid na sabi ni Menchie.

" It's not about you...it's about him.." tinuro Niya si Benjie na sa pagkakataong ito, masayang nakipagkwentuhan sa kaniyang mga kaibigang lalaki.

" Bulag lang siya at tanga kaya hindi Niya nakita ang halaga mo. Kaya kung ako sa iyo, Gaya ng matagal ko ng sabi sa iyo. Tigilan mo na ang pantasya sa kaniya at bigyan mo ng pansin ang mga lalaking nanliligaw sa iyo." Seryoso niyang payo.