Greyson p.o.v.
Grey sky, rumbling as if crying for the loss the man in front of me had suffered, as if cold rain drops could wash off the tears of agony on his pale white cheeks... as if this loud thunder could hush the painful sobs eluting from his lips.
He is the alpha, one of the strongest werewolves. But right now, I'd never seen a man more fragile, more miserable, more tarnished than him.
How can love make you this weak? I wondered as I stepped inside the cemetery, stood at the farthest corner, and gestured to the omega to go and shield my mother with this umbrella instead of me. I don't mind getting soaked.
My mother, on the other hand, can easily get sick, she is weak...fragile, just like this crying man in front of me. The difference is just that her love is still alive, standing beside her, and his breathing is the reason for her agony.
If only my father died instead of the woman inside this casket, my mother might be in pain, physically because of her dead mate, but mentally...at least mentally, she would be happy.
As if my dark thoughts have legs to run away and poke my father's ears because he just turned around, green eyes, just like mine, gleaming back at me as he tilted his neck, gesturing me to come and stood beside him. Just like my mother. Just like a good family. Just like a f*****g bunch of hypocrites.
My father was happy after knowing that Luna of the neighboring town's pack had died. Dad was delighted because now, their Alpha will get weak and then he can take over his territories and business. What a good friend he is, isn't he? Pathetic piece of s**t.
Sighing, I just put my head down, walked, and stood near him. There is no use for these thoughts or my anger anyway. Mom will never allow me to challenge him for the alpha position, even if I'm twenty-one, more than capable to kill him and take his place. Still, my mother will never let me kill him. She loves him, he is her mate after all.
Love is pathetic.
After the prayers and burial, everyone started to leave and so do I. But stopped, noticing that Dad had decided to go and fake comfort his friend. Such an actor. Rolling my eyes I walked towards them.
I will just keep my mouth shut because god knows what s**t I might start muttering instead of comforting words. I don't know how to do this. And I am sure as hell he doesn't want to listen- I am sorry for your loss. Because let's be honest, no one felt sorry, they are just fake words to show fake concern.
Or perhaps, you're just an emotionless freak.
Grey, my wolf muttered lowly inside my mind. And I didn't even bother to deny, he is right. I am a freak.
The wet soil made a weird slippery sound as I strolled on it, my eyes were on the red face and saddened eyes of Uncle Johnson. He really loved his wife, didn't he? I remember he has a daughter, nine or ten years old perhaps. Poor child. How will she survive after this? I can't even imagine losing my mother. I am lucky to still have her, after all she had suffered...
Suddenly I found myself staring at my mother, her black hair, like mine, pushed behind in a messy bun as she just stood there, listening to whatever s**t my father was saying, her makeup perfectly hiding blue scars on her pale white skin. She deserved someone better than my father. If only he wasn't her mate.
We'll be a better mate. We love our mate, no matter what.
Grey suddenly mumbled, making me smile and surprised too. He is a quiet wolf, rarely speaks. Looks like today he is in the mood for talking. He is hyperactive since we entered this town. I thought maybe because of the rain and thunder but as I walked closer and closer to the grave, just near a big oak tree...something strange happened.
The sky was still rumbling, water was still dripping down my hair to my eyelashes and then to my face, my eyes still on my mother...but instead of thunder, I heard my own heartbeat, beating rhythmically with someone's else pounding heart, rain droplets dropped down my cold skin, but all I can feel was shivers on my entire body, it wasn't because of cold...that smell, that sweet yet salty smell, like candy dribbled in cinnamon, making my entire body shiver and my heart thump like the thundering clouds over my head.
I heard a deep animalistic groan, my eyes looked around me, searching for the sound, but everyone was already staring at me...with fearful eyes and then I realized it was me who growled.
Mine.
All I can hear was, grey roaring that same word inside my head like some psalm. I tried, I tried so hard to calm myself. We are in the cemetery for god sake, a man's wife was killed, brutally murdered, he was mourning for his mate. And here, I am going insane and ready to goble whoever that unknown person is...in a f*****g graveyard. So f*****g romantic.
My mom touched my shoulder, but at this point, her soothing touch was not working. I was panting like a stupid dog, could see her lips moving but couldn't hear the words. All I can hear were heartbeats...slow, fragile pulses. Her emotions felt nothing like mine, she felt in pain.
My eyes shifted to the oak tree...whoever she is, she is mine. And she is in pain. I have to stop my f*****g hormones and try to act like a human instead of a caged animal. Don't f*****g jump at her. I warned my wolf and took a slow step toward that tree. How can I not feel that bond before? I should have felt the second I step my foot in the cemetery. Was our bond weak? f**k, I am worrying for no reason.
Don't be nervous. Don't make a fool of yourself in front of her.
Grey grumbled. He is getting impatient just like me. But I have to be careful, don't want to hurt her. I took several deep breaths to calm my throbbing d**k, how the hell I could get aroused by her heartbeats! Seriously?
These emotions, so strong, so painfully unbearable to control. But I have to. She feels sad, in pain. She definitely doesn't need a horny wolf jumping at her. So, even if it seems impossible but I somehow controlled myself and took steady steps toward the tree.
I can feel several eyes piercing my back, people murmuring at my sudden outburst. Thank god there is no human, otherwise, they might get scared seeing my gleaming green eyes...I almost shifted in front of everyone like some horny teenager. Embarrassing
As I stood beside the tree, excited and nervous at the same time...imaging how she might have looked, never, never even in my nightmares, I can think that I would find nothing. There was no woman...no girl, just a kid.
Is this a joke? But I swear I felt it...I am still feeling it.
My eyes wandered behind me, dark dense trees, covering everything and anything that is in front of my eyes. I don't think someone will go inside these spooky woods. But again, I am a freak, if my mate is even half as crazy as me, she can be inside that forest.
" You smell so weird..."
I was just about to run inside the woods but then I hear a small quivering voice, coming just below me.
And I want to die.
With shivering hands, and a pounding heart, now because of fear and disgust, I tilted my head and looked down. There she was; A child. Her back resting against the trunk, silver hair, messy...small body curled like a ball as she stared up at me with big blue eyes.
And I want to puke... vomit my guts out, until there will be nothing left of me inside.
Before I could process it, before I could even think rationally that my mate is some nine-year-old child... My body jerked back and my jaw stung as someone punched me.
" Stay away from my daughter, you sick!"
My legs stumped as I felt another strong punch at my torso and fell to the ground...people trying to shove him away as he kicked at me over and over again, and I didn't even fight back, didn't want to fight back, just laid there accepting my f****d up fate.
My alpha instincts were screaming at me to stand up and show this man his place...but my wolf was too shocked and I was too ashamed to even meet his eyes. So I did nothing.
I came here for his wife's funeral and ended up perverted over his barely ten years old daughter! Even disgusting word is small for me. How...how is it possible, I never ever heard of any werewolf getting a mate like this, a child!
This is sick.
Someone stopped that madman and yanked him away from me. Don't know who that person was, didn't bother to reply to him either.
I just stood up, didn't look up to see everyone, didn't hear anyone...didn't feel anything, just turn around and run, run inside those woods without thinking, run until my skin ripped apart, bones cracked open, nails plugged out, and my wolf emerged from my human body, the pain was unbearable, my own screams made me shiver, but I didn't stop to calm myself, I just ran.
My silver fur glimmered inside this dark forest as I run and run and run, until I stopped feeling her emotions, until I stopped smelling her scent, until I stopped hearing her heartbeats. Running away from my mate pained my wolf, even though I know she is a child, I didn't want her like that now, but- it's just...God! I can't even understand my own emotions.
What did I do wrong to deserve this torture...this madness.
After running for hours, which felt like days...I finally stopped and curled like a ball under another oak tree, licking my back with my cold tongue...her hair was silver, just like my furr. Her mother died, she might be in pain...she looked lonely, hiding behind a tree like that, all alone. It's not safe for a kid to sit alone in a place...I shook my head, shouldn't think about her.
" Here you are... "
I heard a deep strong voice and immediately recognized it. I tilted my head as he stood in front of me. Did he come here to finish what he started, to kill me and save his daughter from a mate like me...too old for her.
" I shouldn't beat you like that...got scared seeing that. ", he said, kneeling in front of me, " I should have remembered mating bond is not in our control..."
What...? I blinked at him, still confused. Now when he is not angry, he looked like a kind man with these humble brown eyes. I met him when I was a kid...he used to play soccer with me. He was always a good man. Why the hell his daughter had to be my mate!
I growled when he tried to patt my head, but it just made him laugh, " You grew up a strong wolf, Grey.", he mumbled staring back at my eyes, " I always thought of you like my little brother, you see...". He gave me a pained smile, standing up again. And I knew where this is going, he wants me to reject her, didn't he?
" Can I request you something?"
A whine escaped my lips before I could stop it. He sighed and I didn't bother to look up, didn't even bother to turn into my human form, didn't deserve to be a human...getting aroused by my ten-year-old mate! sick sick sick, I am sick.
" Don't reject my daughter."
For a second I thought I heard wrong, or he was joking, this isn't a topic to joke around but still...He couldn't possibly want me to be her mate, he beat the s**t out of me barely some hours ago for that same thing. But when I looked up and saw his severe face, I knew he was serious, too serious.
He sighed and rubbed his palm in his face, " I know I am asking a lot...and after how I treated you there, you might never want to forgive me...but it's for her. She is just a child, she will never be able to survive the pain of rejection...you might already hear about how painful it can be..."
I didn't say anything just heard him...what exactly did he want from me?
He again kneeled in front of me, brown eyes staring directly at my green ones, " I just want you to wait, once she turns eighteen, get strong enough, you can reject her...or she can reject you. I know I'm taking your chance for a second mate, all these years you have to suffer alone...I just...I just don't want to lose my daughter too.", his voice cracked at the last.
What he is asking me is too much. Eight years...without any mate, alone. If I reject her today, I can live my life like before, and maybe, maybe I'll meet my second chance mate soon. I don't have to be alone. But if I reject her today, she can die...the face of my mother, crying, bruised, sore, after my father beat her, flash inside my mind. I am not like him, I'll never hurt my mate...even if she is a child and I can never be with her...how can I reject her and leave her to die, she is just a child and none of this is her fault!
So, knowing I'm f*****g my life, I just nodded my head.
" I didn't understand...can you turn human? Or growl twice if you are saying yes."
I tried to roll my eyes but then realized my eyes won't be rolling in my wolf form. Sighing, I growled twice...even wiggled my tail so he can understand better.
He smiled, wiping his tears which he himself didn't realize were fallen when he was pleading to me. " Thank you, Grey, I don't know if I ever will be able to pay this debt."
Dramatic enough.
He stood up and started walking back but stopped and turned around when I didn't attempt to move. " Are you not coming yet?", he asked and I just growled twice, and he smiled, understanding I'm saying yes.
" Okay, you can umm...clear your head and then come back to my pack house, your parents are waiting there."
Again, I growled twice and he smiled after again saying thank you and sorry, he left...finally leaving me alone with my guilty thoughts.
~~~
First, I thought it'll be just some days...some days until I forget about that f****d up thing. But then as I wandered inside these woods, hunting and eating and sleeping like an animal I am...those days turned into weeks. Every time I tried to turn human again, that image, that disgusting image of me standing in front of that child with my hard d**k after getting aroused by her heartbeats...came inside my mind and I stopped.
I don't deserve to be a human. I am sick.
Those weeks, turned months...people came and tried to find me but I just hide. I am good at hiding. It's not like I was doing anything good outside... I can't save my mother, if anything I am the reason my parents fight all the time. I don't have any friends to miss...or any mate to love. If anything, I am doing a favor for everyone by staying hidden. It's better this way.
I am better to be just a wolf, not a werewolf.
••••••••
(One year later)
Yeni's p.o.v.
I smiled feeling warm sunlight on my pale cold skin, my small palm looked bigger compared to these tiny patterns engraved by sunshine on the wooden school desk. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of birds chirping outside my classroom.
The school was just beside that beautiful forest, so like always, that weird sound of heartbeat soothing my senses...I always wonder why only I seem to hear those heartbeats coming from the woods but not anyone else. But again, as my classmates say, I am a freak. So maybe it's just my imagination.
" Are you lost, old lady..."
I yelp as Tyler yanked my silver hair, others laughing as I didn't even turn around to glance at them. We are in sixth grade but still, they behaved as if we are still in second. Stupid.
" Did you guys know her hair wasn't like this before, when her mamma died..."
My eyes get teary as Tyler told my new classmate about that day in a hushed tone, but it was clear he knew I am listening; werewolf hearing. Tyler is also like me, in my pack..but still, he always behaved like this. Don't know what's his problem.
When I felt I was about to cry and sob like a little girl, I picked up my bag and hurriedly left the class. They giggled as I ran...they enjoyed tormenting me like this. But why, what did I possibly do to them, they hate me, just because I look different?
" Wait..where are you going?"
Someone shouted at me from behind but I didn't stop to look at him. The sound of their laughing and giggling and taunting echoed inside my brain, my wolf seem tired of all this drama as she didn't even try to comfort me like she always did. Looks like she also gave up, just like me.
Even those heartbeats seem useless now, I just want to run, run far away from here where nobody could ever remind me of that day...that day my mother died, and after that, I met my mate. We never meet our mate before sixteen but I did, and then he ran, he also hate me, just like everyone did. Tyler said, my mate will come back...come back to claim me, as if I am some lifeless thing!
At this point, I could feel my cheeks wet from my tears and could hear my own sobs as I crouched down on the stairs, which were behind the lockers, no one use these. It's my safe spot. I rested my head on my knees and took deep breaths to calm myself, it isn't working. My mother's face...those dark men...my scream, everything flashing inside my mind. How can I ever forget that day if everyone keeps reminding me that again and again?
It's not my fault, it's not my fault she died. I didn't kill her. But then why I became like this?
" Come inside the class, Yeniffer."
My eyes abruptly opened, no one calls me that, not anymore, just my mother called me that. But she is not here...I tilted my head and saw a man standing in front of me, his hands in his pocket...I inhaled deeply, judging his scent; he is a human.
I blinked my eyes, trying to see his face with my blurry eyes. He kneeled in front of me and wiped my tears...and then, I met the most beautiful human eyes I'd ever seen, deep blue...like the ocean. I didn't know humans can feel this peaceful as if all the chaos had stopped.
" Why are you crying? Did they were bullying you?"
I shook my head, didn't want this stranger to tell my pathetic story. He narrowed his eyes at me, " Then why were you running away crying like that and they were laughing.", he raised his brow, " Good kids don't lie."
My brows pressed together, who is he to tell me I am good or not? " Why do I tell you anything, I don't have to.", I frowned and he laughed.
" Because I am your teacher...and I don't want any bullies in my class."
Oh...he is that new music teacher. Great. Now I have to spend the rest of my school years getting bullied for being a snitch.
" Now tell me."
" They were...they were just joking, I have different hair, you see.", I mumbled, looking down at my black polished shoes. " They called me an old lady."
" And what's wrong with that?"
Hunn...I looked up at him, confused as he smiled, wasn't he supposed to pity me, or punish those kids? It's not like I want his pity...but I don't want him to laugh at me either. Other teachers didn't behave like this.
He stood up, and ruffled my hair, " There is nothing wrong with your hair, just because you are different, doesn't mean you are wrong. Understood?", he said, giving me his hand, " now come, you don't want to miss my first class, do you, little kitten?". I shook my head, grasping his hand as I stood up. Little kitten...I like the nickname.
As we walked in the hallway, he told me that he will talk to those students who were bullying me but I have to stand up on my own, I can't always cry and run away like this. He is so different from other teachers, no one ever told me to fight back...they just said to ignore them.
He is different just like me...and I love different.