True Love never Dies

The trip back

The trip back long, tiring and was a heartbreaking one. I swear I cried all the way long and it was a harder trip than I thought of. My two friends thought I was nuts as every time they’d look id be wiping the crying I had been doing.

I returned home that evening and it just felt harder being alone at the flat without anyone to talk to. I never got any calls from Sam the week that followed and I missed him so badly. At one stage I told myself that I shouldn’t have met him and started our love relationship all over again. The following week I called him one evening and thank God it was a relief to hear his voice. We spoke very briefly as he said he was hurrying to go attend a Team talk for their Rugby Club that he was playing for. I tried to call him to sleep. Work and school were not the same anymore, as I usually in a different world every day. A few weeks after returning I started feeling funny. I usually just felt heavy-headed in the mornings. I never ever suspected that in my wildest dreams I was pregnant as my menstruation cycle kept flowing.

One day an Aunt met me in town and told me that I had lost a lot of weight and asked if I was pregnant. It was after that remark that I realized that something was really wrong with my body. Coinciding with this my mum traveled in from the Islands to celebrate my 21st birthday in the City. It was such a celebration and a few of my friends were invited, unfortunately, my Sam had told me and that he would be playing rugby and would not be able to attend. That pierced my heart like a sharp knife, but the presence of my friends Minnie, Simone, and Jonathan made the difference. My mum spent another 2 weeks in the City with me and that’s when she told me one morning. “Daughter I think you’re pregnant”, my mum told me. Tears welled in my eyes and for some reason, I felt that I had failed her, I had let her down. I felt discouraged, hopeless, and useless. “Yes, I answered her.” My mum being a nurse and having counseled numerous young mothers I encouraged me that I need to save this child and that I needed to be strong for him. That’s exactly what I did but I was too scared and ashamed of calling Sam again to tell him about us. So, I waited, and then I gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing 3kg. He was just this handsome looking boy that I just cried at the sight of him. So, one day a week after I gave birth, I decided I would call him. As the phone rang on the other side I was scared and as he answered the phone, I knew it was him. “Sam”, I blurted out with tears in my eyes. “Oh, hello MJ is that you,” he replied. “Sam yes it’s me and I just wanted to let you know that I was pregnant and I’ve given birth to a Baby boy and he is your son, Sam, he is our child.” “What? “No, that can’t be true,” he replied. As slowly as I could I replied,” oh ok thank you then.” My mum looked at me and asked me what happened because by the time that I ended that call I was sobbing so hard. My mum looked me in the eye and she said, “look if he doesn’t want to know that child then for as long as I’m alive that child will not know him”.

I was heartbroken yet again. I cried so hard even my seven days old baby cried so loudly. It was as if someone had ripped my heart out from inside of me. I sat and wondered what I had done wrong to this man, the man that I loved, the only man that I could ever give my heart out to.

The days that followed were hard but I had to live with that pain and be strong for my child. I was so heartbroken that I asked my mum to take us back to the Island as far away from Sam as possible. So off to the island we went. As my Mum was nursing in one of the villages, Baby Ronnie and I stayed with her and lived there and it was actually tough for to try to erase Sam from my mind but I knew for now I still had him tucked neatly again in a corner of my heart

Baby Ronnie reminded me every day of Sam, so even if he wasn’t with me he was near me through his Son, our Son.  Months went by and my mum noticed that I was getting thinner by the day, I seldom ate and was very anti-social. So she brought two girls to stay with Ronnie and me to keep us company. That’s when young girls and boys dropped by every night to socialize with us. Slowly I was coming out of my shell and eventually I was actually sitting drinking Kava with them.

Then one morning when Ronnie was about five months old while I hung out our laundry, three men stopped near our Verandah for a rest, so I said good morning to them and went over to shake their hands as is the traditional custom. I first shook hands with the older man and then the younger one and then suddenly the young man walked up and gave out his hand. I held his hand and just stared at his tattoo. It was as if this was Sam as the tattoos were just like Sam’s. I held on to his hand and just stared and was in a trance until he spoke out and asked if I had finished looking at his tattoos. I felt something with him, I felt warmth and love. I slowly pulled my hands away and went back inside. I walked right over to Ronnie’s bed and told him “Son if we cant get hold of your real Daddy I think I've just found another Daddy that I know will love us both.