For Rent or For Real

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ted wandered aimlessly and found himself at the playground in a park near his home, or what had been home until a few moments ago. He sat on a swing, idly pushing it back and forth, his feet dragging in the dust beneath as he tried to sort out the jumble of thoughts running through his head. He thought about his stepfather’s rage—rage based on the teachings of the so-called Christian church his family attended. As a boy he’d dutifully studied the Bible as he was required to do. He soon found what he read and what the church taught weren’t always compatible. The founder of their faith seemed to say Christians were to show compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness; they were to turn away from being judgmental and self-righteous. However, this church preached hellfire and damnation on anyone that didn’t think as they did about gays, minorities, the homeless, and people who needed government help to survive. There was no compassion, tolerance or forgiveness offered those groups of people. He had tried to discuss this apparent disparity with Harold, tried to point out scripture to show what true Christianity was meant to be. But his efforts were met with stern rebuffs and references to Old Testament and Pauline doctrines which were antiquated to say the least. Reason was replaced with rage and the declaration that Ted’s views were bordering on heresy.

What difference does all of that make now? Ted thought. I’m out on the street with nowhere to sleep and nothing to eat. And for what, just a little jerk-off with Erik? That doesn’t mean we’re gay! We were just playing around.

However, Ted’s disavowing what the mutual masturbatory session meant was a thin veneer over what he’d been worrying about for at least a year. While Erik and other guys his age seemed to be getting more and more into girls, Ted, while he considered females pleasant enough to look at, found himself increasingly drawn to the men in the porn videos he’d secretly watched on his laptop when his parents weren’t home. Sure, they were hetero vids, but it didn’t seem to be the women that turned him on. And in the showers at school he found himself surreptitiously taking in the male bodies lathering up beside him, and then found these images intruding into his jack-off fantasies. He’d usually been able to push these concerns into the background, until earlier that evening when the opportunity had presented itself with his best friend. Although Erik was the one who’d suggested they “whip it out” as he usually did, this time it went further, and they began to fondle each other, also at Erik’s suggestion. Ted discovered he was all too eager to participate. The feel of a male organ in his hand had sent his libido into overdrive and his c**k into painful petrification.

His brooding about Erik and the results of their sinful interaction gave him an idea. Maybe he could bunk at Erik’s. He pulled out his cell phone. At least Harold hadn’t thought of confiscating this!. He punched in Erik’s cell number and waited as it rang. Involuntarily his mind went to thoughts of what it would be like to sleep in the same bed as his j-o buddy. He couldn’t deny it had felt good to be with Erik physically, and he really liked his best friend as well.

“Hello?” came a voice at the other end of the line.

“Hey, Erik?” Ted asked.

“Yeah.”

“This is Ted. You sound funny, man. What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong. That f*****g old man of yours called my folks and told them I was a f*****g queer and that I had ruined you and we were both going to roast in hell forever!”

Ted stopped the swing he was sitting on “Oh, God!” Ted moaned as he silently cursed Harold. “I’m sorry. What did your parents say?”

“They told him to go to hell himself. Then they gave me the third degree about what happened. I told them we were just fooling around and your dad went off the deep end. I didn’t tell them we were doing it to each other. Just that we were messing around.”

“Did they buy it?” Ted asked, feeling like s**t that his stepdad had acted like a complete asshole.

“I don’t know. I think so. But they sent me to my room so they could talk about it. What happened after your old man threw me out?”

Ted gave Erik the short version, ending with, “So, I’m out on the street, I guess. I’m at the playground on Wellington.”

“You mean he threw you out for good?” Erik asked, sounding incredulous. “Like, where are you going to sleep, man?”

“Uh, yeah, and that’s kinda why I called. I was hoping I might stay with you until I can figure out what to do.”

There was silence at the other end of the line until Ted finally asked, “You still there?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Ted pressed. “You think you could ask your parents if it would be okay?”

“Geez, man,” Erik began.

Ted’s heart sank. He knew what was coming.

“I hate to have you out on the streets but…I don’t think they’d go for it. They were pretty upset after your father called.”

“Okay, I understand. I don’t want to cause you any more problems,” Ted said, his mind filling with worry about what he was going to do.

“Well, at least it’s not the middle of winter. And we only have a week of school left before graduation,” Erik said, apparently attempting to reassure him.

Ted thought about that. Finals were this week. How was he going to study and get through them? He was on the edge as it was. He needed to do well in all four of his classes in order to get enough credits to graduate. He’d been provisionally accepted at State depending on his grades this last quarter. s**t!

“Listen,” Erik was continuing, “I can ask my folks in the morning when things have calmed down, but I won’t promise anything. Maybe I can smuggle some food out to you tomorrow. Any idea where you’ll sleep?”

“No,” Ted said, feeling anxious at the thought.

“Well, I’ll meet you at the park. You could talk to Mr. Jennings when we get to school?”

Ted considered this. Mr. Jennings was his school counselor. He’d always been a good guy and easy to talk to, maybe he could help. Then because he couldn’t think of anything else, Ted said, “Okay, thanks.”

“Sorry I can’t do more. But it is summer, almost, and it isn’t raining,” Erik said, continuing his effort to make Ted feel better.

“It’s okay,” Ted said more confidently than he felt.

“Okay then, I’ll see you in the morning. Bye.”

“Bye,” Ted said and hung up. He looked around. An owl hooted and a dog barked. A car drove by. Ted took a deep breath. He couldn’t sit on this swing all night. But where could he go to sleep?

There were areas of the park that were wooded. He got up off the swing and walked toward one of those. Maybe he could find a place to lie down and try to get some sleep. When he got to the trees, he hesitated. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered that when he was a kid, there’d been a story on the news about a young boy who’d been murdered, his body dumped in a woods near a playground like this. Ted couldn’t remember where the park actually was. All he could recall was that for some time he’d assumed it was this park and had been scared to go to the playground after dark.

Screw it, he thought, trying to push the childish fear aside. That was a long time ago and probably wasn’t even in this state.

He followed a path that led into the trees. A little ways in he came to a place where there was an open space off the trail surrounded by shrubs and bushes. It was grassy and seemed to give him a feeling of protection. Sighing, he laid down, using his backpack as a pillow. Ted had barely closed his eyes when he heard a buzzing in his ear—mosquitoes. He swatted the unseen insects away. Glad he’d worn his jeans, he sat up and took his light jacket and a tee shirt out of the backpack. He put on the jacket despite the summer heat and tied the tee around his head. He tried again to get comfortable. The tee and jacket seemed to help and after a time of ruminating on the events of the night, he drifted off into a fitful sleep. However, he frequently sat up, startled by the snap of a twig or the sound of rustling in the bushes. Once he thought he heard voices. He strained to hear what they said but concluded it was only his imagination.

After a few hours of intermittent sleep laced with nightmares of his stepfather screaming obscenities at him, and dreams of his being naked in the park with Erik while people watched them jack-off, he woke to find the morning dew had soaked through his clothes.

Shivering, Ted got to his feet and stretched. He looked around, then went to the side of the clearing and pissed. He glanced down. Something caught his eye. It was a used condom. Ted felt panic run through him. He was reminded of the locker room rumors of gay men who looked for s*x in the parks after dark. Then he remembered what Harold had said, loudly and often, about the gay perverts that preyed on children and teenage boys. What if they had come last night and found him sleeping there?

This is nuts, he thought, reminding himself that not all gay men were predators, just like not all straight guys would be classed that way. Why would I even consider what that homophobe stepfather of mine thinks or says?

Nevertheless, he hurriedly took his phone out of his pocket—5:23. Relieved that the sky was getting light as it does in early summer, Ted took out a dry shirt from his backpack and exchanged it with the damp one he was wearing. He quickly walked out of the woods and back to the swings to wait for Erik. Ted’s encounter with the condom spurred hope that Erik had talked with his parents about Ted staying with them. Ted also hoped Erik hadn’t forgotten his promise to bring food.

About an hour and a half later Ted looked up to see Erik trotting across the playground. Ted got up from the swing and walked toward him.

“Hey,” Erik said, coming up to his friend. “How’d it go last night? Where did you sleep?”

“In the woods. I don’t want to have to do that again though. Did you talk with your folks about my staying with you?”

“Yeah, but they weren’t too keen on the idea. I think they don’t want to get involved with your dad.”

“That figures,” Ted said, feeling desperate again. “Thanks for trying.”

Erik took a bag out of his backpack and handed it to Ted. “It ain’t much but I didn’t want my mom to get suspicious.”

“Thanks,” Ted said, taking the sack and pulling out a bagel. It also contained a banana and a small bottle of orange juice. The two walked back to the swings and sat as Ted ate his breakfast.

“I don’t know how homeless people can stand living like this,” he said between bites. “I know they don’t have much choice, but I’d do just about anything to keep from doing this again. It was too creepy.” He thought once more of the used rubber.

The boys sat for a bit longer, neither saying much, before making their way to school.