The Alpha's Luna in a Strange Land

CHAPTER 26: MY SECRET

**NATASHA'S POV***

I heard Desmond call my name, but I didn't stop. I kept moving through the halls, heading for the exit. It was time to do what I had been contemplating doing since I woke up in the Land of the Vampires.

"Natasha, please wait," Desmond called out to me.

"I just need a minute, Desmond," I replied to him over my shoulder. "Please."

I heard Desmond pick up his pace to a full-blown jog. Within a matter of seconds, he caught up to me by the arms and brought me to a halt. I was panting, and he looked like he hadn't even broken a sweat.

"I'm sorry about Cynthia. She's just on edge with Lord Alexander being in the hospital. She's been wanting to lash out. Unfortunately, she decided to do it on you."

I shook my head. "She has every right to be upset because it's because of me and my stupid decision that Lord Alexander is in the hospital bed."

"My dear, listen to me." He placed his hands on my shoulders. " Alexander came out to rescue you by his own will. He would have sent a patrol team to find you, but he did it himself because he wanted to. He knows the risk, and he took it. So don't blame yourself for any condition he finds himself in now."

"How can I not blame myself?" I sniffed. "He is in a hospital bed right now because of me. My stupid decision put him there."

"No, a pack of wolves put him there. Not you, Natasha." He brushed away one of the stray tears that had fallen from my eyes. I was a mess. I had been a mess ever since Lord Alexander passed out.

"I need to leave, Desmond. Cynthia is right. I think everyone will be better off without me being here. All I've done is cause problems since I came here. First, I made Lord Alexander have a quarrel with his second-in-command, Jorge, and now his mate. The least I can do to end this suffering I've caused Lord Alexander is to leave. Lord Alexander deserves better than me."

Desmond looked at me oddly as I realized what I had just said.

"Better than some prisoner who has just brought him strife," I corrected myself.

"Firstly, you aren't a prisoner; you're a guest of Alexander. Secondly, you haven't brought strife to Alexander. If anything, you've awakened something inside of him. There's an extra kick in his step."

There was? My heart swelled at the thought of that, but then it was short-lived when the reality of everything sank in.

"Regardless of all of that, Desmond, I don't belong here. It's not my home."

His kind eyes searched mine for an answer that I wasn't willing to give.

"And where is home, Natasha?" His eyes bore into mine, willing the answer out of me, but I was smarter than that. I wasn't going to give up.

"I don't remember," I cast my eyes downwards. "But I know it's not here."

"You know what? I think you need a little breather. You haven't eaten all day and need something to eat. We can grab some food in the cafeteria and talk all this over."

"Desmond, really, I'm fine." I needed to get out of here just like yesterday.

"Alexander said that I shouldn't let you out of my sight so you won't do something stupid again like running away like you tried before."

Lord Alexander asked him to watch me? I don't know why, but that made my heart flutter a little. I should have been upset that he was having me watched, but my wolf purred at the fact that our mate wanted us looked after. It meant that he cared and was taking initiative to ensure that we stay within the pack lands.

"Okay," I relented. "I'm feeling kind of hungry, anyways."

Desmond's face split into a star-dazzling smile. He ushered me downstairs to where the cafeteria was located. We didn't speak as we made our way there, but I could feel his glance. He was itching to say something—or rather, ask something—but I was in no mood to delve deep with him.

Desmond showed me all the different stations that served various kinds of food. I opted for a simple grilled cheese sandwich. I was still trying to get used to human food again. I had been used to eating my meals raw, so cooked food, although delicious, still tasted strange to me.

We sat in a secluded corner of the cafeteria, away from everyone else. There weren't many people in the cafeteria to begin with. We sat in silence for a moment. I ate my sandwich while Desmond picked at his salad. Every so often, I could feel his gaze on me. I tried to ignore it at first, but after a while, it started to bother me. I didn't like when people stared at me, whether it was a good or bad stare.

"Desmond, your stare is unnerving," I said, swallowing the last bit of food in my mouth. I reached for my water and drank it eagerly. It tasted much better than river water.

"There is more to you than meets the eye, Natasha," he said, pointing his fork at me. "There are so many layers to you."

I shrugged in response. "Isn't that the case with everyone? Aren't we all like onions, made up of different layers that define who we are?"

"And who are you, Natasha?" he asked, his eyes piercing through me as if he knew something.

"I don't know who I am," I replied, not completely lying. I still had to play the role of an amnesia victim, but the truth was, I didn't know myself very well. I knew I was a wolf and how my mom was killed, and how I ended up here. But I still didn't know myself fully. I didn't know why Damien was after me, besides wanting to marry me. And even the reason for that was unknown. Damien had plenty of omegas in the pack to marry if he wanted. He could even turn them into lunas if he wanted. So why me?

Now fate had mated me to Lord Alexander. Destiny claimed I was the Queen or First Lady of the White Vampires. But in reality, I was just a rogue wolf who didn't belong anywhere. I had titles, but no sense of self.

"And who are you, Desmond?" I asked, trying to shift the conversation away from myself.

He leaned back in his chair, contemplating my question for a moment. "I'm Desmond, the head pack healer of the White Vampires. I'm mated to a beautiful woman named Morgana. She is my whole world and more. And I am also best friends with Alexander."

"You have a mate?" I couldn't help but sound surprised.

He chuckled. "Don't sound so surprised. I was fortunate enough to be fated with someone. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I were in Alexander's position and had to choose a mate."

A pang of guilt hit my chest, but I didn't let it show on my face. "It's not so bad. Cynthia seems like a suitable candidate to be his mate. She's a Lord's daughter, and Alexander would benefit a lot if he were to marry her."

"Suitable is just another way of saying it's a cop-out. Nothing matches the connection of true fated mates. It's a bond unlike any other. You are matched perfectly with each other. Sure, some have denied the bond, but more often than not, they regret that decision. Mates are a blessing, and it's a shame that some treat it like a curse."

I gulped, feeling uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. "So are you saying that you don't think Cynthia will be a good mate for him?"

He shook his head. "Not as good as his fated mate would have been, if he had been blessed with one. But with Alexander being over 390 years old, it's hard to believe that he will ever find his fated one."

I began to feel even more uncomfortable with this topic. "Tell me about Morgana," I changed the subject, hoping it would distract him.

A dazzling grin appeared on his face. "She's perfect," he beamed. "She's the definition of an angel. My world made no sense without her. She has helped me overcome all the obstacles that have come my way. She completes my entire world."

Seeing the love in his eyes when he spoke about Morgana, I could tell how much he loved her. It wasn't just in his words, but also in his eyes. My mother always told me that the eyes never lie. Although I had never met Morgana before, I concluded in my heart that she must be a good and kind woman, just like Desmond.

"I would love to meet her one day," I said, wanting to continue the pleasant conversation. "She seems like a nice woman."

Desmond's question caught me off guard. "You have one, don't you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I tried to play it off, pretending not to understand.

"A mate. You have a mate," he said confidently. "I can see it in the way your eyes glazed over. I know that look. I've seen it enough times on my own face to recognize the look of a mate pull."

Panic gripped me. This wasn't part of the plan. I had to lie. I couldn't let him know my secret. I needed to tell Desmond that he was wrong.

I had planned to lie, to tell him that he was completely off base.

"So, do you have a mate, Natasha?" He pressed me further.

I needed to lie.

"Yes," the word slipped from my mouth without my approval.

Why had I just told him that? Was my wolf urging me to tell Desmond the truth?