Hold Me Now

1. Paisley

Chapter One

Paisley

My foot slipped on the edge of a rock, and I stumbled. Before I could take another step, I felt a hand on my elbow, steadying me.

Glancing back, I saw Russell Dane. I beat back the urge to shake his hand off and managed to say, “Thanks.” I might’ve been gritting my teeth, but at least I was polite.

Even though my skin prickled from his nearness and I could hear every one of his footsteps, I tightened the strap on my backpack and kept walking. It irked me just to know Russell was behind me. I walked pretty quickly, but I barely cleared five feet, and he had to be at least six feet tall. By my guess, a slow pace for him meant a hustle for me.

I picked up my speed, only to come to a skidding stop when he said, “You don't need to rush on my account.”

At my abrupt halt, his elbow bumped into my backpack. I spun around, narrowing my eyes. “Why don't you walk in front of me?”

His tongue pressed the inside of his cheek when he c****d his head to the side. I diligently ignored the inconvenient flare of heat between us. “No need,” he said lightly.

Leaning my head back, I stared at the sky for a moment. I took a deep breath and let it out before I looked at him again. It was beyond annoying that I had to look up to meet his gaze.

His blue eyes stared back at me. “How many times do we have to go over this?” I pressed.

“Go over what?” he returned.

“Just treat me like one of the guys.”

Russell narrowed his eyes at me. “I am treating you like one of the guys.”

I shook my head. “No, you're not. You're obviously in a hurry, so just walk around me. That's what you’d do with anybody else on our crew.”

Russell was another firefighter on my hotshot crew based in Alaska. We were headed back to the rendezvous point, where a helicopter would be picking us up. We’d been dealing with a wildfire in the backcountry. The fire was controlled, so our crew would be on our way home soon. Somehow, Russell ended up near me on our trek back. The rest of our crew was scattered along this trail as well, but most of them were behind us.

“Why does it annoy you to have me walking near you?” he asked.

I couldn't exactly answer truthfully. The honest answer was he drove me crazy, and I was so inconveniently attracted to him. He'd also been an asshole to me when I first got hired for this crew. He’d been all overprotective and s**t. I did not need that. I'd been a hotshot firefighter for a few years before I moved here, so I had plenty of experience.

When I didn’t answer, he rolled his eyes and quickly stepped around me. We began walking again. This time, I knew he was walking more slowly on purpose. Another minute later, I caught up to him. He stepped to the side of the trail, and I brushed by without a word. I wanted to say something, but a month ago, Graham, our crew superintendent, had forced us to have a conversation in his office because we'd had an argument. I'd never had a problem getting along with anyone I worked with. I loved this job, and I was falling in love with Alaska. Graham was a great boss. Here comes the “but”—but Russell drove me insane for all the wrong reasons.

I kept walking and resisted the urge to call over my shoulder and tell him to stop adjusting his pace to meet mine. I refused to speed up now and simply tolerated his presence behind me. Fortunately, we didn't have much farther to go.

I’d promised myself I wouldn't let him get to me anymore. It didn't make a bit of difference, but it took more effort than I’d ever admit. We made it back, and I was blessedly distracted by the others on our crew.

Phoebe sat down beside me on a log while we waited for the helicopter to arrive. She and I were the only women on the crew. Men dominated the ranks of firefighters, in general, but even more so in the world of hotshots. I was accustomed to that, but it was good to have another woman around.

Her blond ponytail swung when she brushed her hair away from her face. “Ready to go home?” she asked.

“Definitely,” I replied. We'd been out in the wilderness for a week, and I had a deep hankering for a long hot shower.

Phoebe nodded, glancing over toward where Russell was chatting with Graham. I reached into my backpack to fish out a water bottle. After I took several swallows, she commented, “You know, Russell has the hots for you.”

“What?!” I sputtered. Her eyes twinkled when I glanced sideways. “You’re joking, right?”

“Absolutely not. He was just staring at your mouth while you drank that water,” she said dryly.

I wasn't about to fess up that I totally had the hots for him. Working as a firefighter, I was accustomed to the raw masculinity of the guys who did this kind of work. Most of them were rock-solid men, and they weren’t jerks. With the exception of how he treated me, Russell wasn’t either.

“I disagree,” I finally said rather firmly. “He gets annoyed with me all the time.”

“Yeah, that kind of proves my point.”

“Well, it’s a moot point because he annoys the hell out of me,” I added.

Phoebe chuckled. “To my point again. I don't know you that well because we've only worked together for a month, but, uh, maybe it's a two-way street,” she said lightly.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not. I'm not interested in relationships, in general, and specifically, not in anything with Russell.”

She held a hand up. “Whatever. He’s not my type, but he sure is easy on the eyes.”

I knew my cheeks were getting hot, and I hoped the bright sunshine masked it. “More than one guy on this crew is easy on the eyes, but I don't have the hots for any of them.”

She laughed again, stretching her legs out and crossing them at the ankles. “This isn't your first rodeo with a hotshot crew, is it?”

I shook my head. “I was on a crew in Washington for a while.”

“You like the work then?”

“Definitely. This is your first job as a hotshot firefighter, right?”

Phoebe nodded. “Yeah, I did city firefighter work for a year in Seattle, but that’s different.”

I nodded. “Lots of hotshots start as regular firefighters. I was a volunteer firefighter in high school.”

“Where are you from?” she asked.

“A small town in Washington. Are you from Seattle?”

I preferred that deflection to discussing my past. I loved my family, but there were too many complications at the moment.

She rested her hands on the log as she leaned back slightly. “I’m actually from Willow Brook. I moved away for college and stayed for a while.”

“What brought you back?”

Something flickered in her eyes, but it disappeared. “I missed Alaska,” she said simply.

“Alaska is definitely a far cry from Seattle,” I said with a laugh.

Phoebe nodded emphatically. “I love Alaska. Have you ever been here before?”

“Nope. But I wanted to see it, so when I was scouting around to find another hotshot firefighter job and saw the opening, I jumped at the chance. Alaska has the most wilderness.”

“There's even good coffee,” Phoebe chimed in. “Firehouse Café makes some kick-a*s coffee.”

She was referring to a local coffee shop, which did, in fact, have excellent coffee. “Completely agree on that.”

“There are also some good restaurants, and Anchorage isn't far away if you need a dose of the city,” she added.

The two helicopters arrived then, cutting off our conversation. I was relieved when Russell got in the other helicopter. I really needed to figure out how to deal with him. Originally, I’d blamed the tension between us on him. But now, I knew I was part of the problem. It rankled me to know that Phoebe had noticed there might be something between us. I had a hard time believing Russell had the hots for me, but she was spot-on when it came to me.

Why did he have to be so freaking handsome? He had those gorgeous eyes paired with rumpled golden hair. I didn't like that I'd even seen him without a shirt. That had been inconvenient for my hormones. One afternoon, I’d gone for a dip in a nearby lake. I'd thought no one else was around, and then he showed up. I'd ended up hiding in the trees to avoid him but gotten a nice long look at his glorious chest. And oh my, it was glorious, complete with a dusting of hair and a happy trail. Just recalling the view sent a wash of heat rolling through me. I did not need to be lusting after this guy, or even thinking about him.

Once we were in the air and closer to civilization, I turned on my phone to see if I had any messages. I was supposed to be moving into a new place this afternoon. I'd been making do at a bed and breakfast run by the woman who actually owned Firehouse Café. She'd cut me a break on the price, but it wasn't available much longer, so I’d been scouting around. Small towns didn't have many rentals, and I wasn't in a place to buy something yet. Janet had sent me to a local woman who was renting out the upper floor of a duplex.

It was kind of a weird setup. I was sort of a roommate, but not really. I had the entire upper floor to myself but would be sharing the kitchen area with whoever lived downstairs. I could totally deal with that. I was relieved to find a message from the owner and quickly replied to her text. We’re coming back this afternoon. I should land in an hour. Do I need to meet with you?

My phone vibrated seconds after I hit send on that text. I left the upper floor unlocked. Go on in. Welcome home, and welcome to Willow Brook.

I smiled to myself. After we landed, I headed to the B&B to pick up the bag that was already packed. Within a half an hour, I was looking around my small apartment. It was super cute. A major bonus was that it came furnished. My footsteps echoed as I walked around the spacious living room with windows facing the lake.

The landlady had even left a set of clean sheets folded on top of the quilt. I smiled as I pulled out my phone and tapped out another text. Thank you for the bedding. I haven't had any time to get to the store, so that's a nice surprise.

There are towels too! she replied.

I quickly took off my dirty clothes and smiled as I tossed them in the washer—my very own washer. Ah, this was heaven. A short while later, I was showered and changed into clean, dry clothes. The only thing I needed to do now was figure out the food situation. I settled on ordering a pizza. That was perfect for tonight. I would go grocery shopping tomorrow since I had three whole days off.

Roughly twenty minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I’d expected them to wait at the shared entryway, but whatever. I leaped up from the couch, reaching for the cash I'd set on the coffee table for the pizza delivery person. When I swung the door open, the cash fell from my fingers, fluttering to the floor. Russell stood there with a pizza box in hand. His eyes widened the moment they landed on me.