Hold Me Now

4. Russell

Chapter Four

Russell

Paisley stared at me across the table, her eyes almost daring me. She lifted her chin a little, and I tried not to notice the pink tinge on her cheeks. I definitely tried not to notice her full lips and those freckles dusted across her nose.

Fuck me. How was I supposed to deal with Paisley living here?

Paisley cleared her throat, bringing my attention back to her question. I had to reach to remember what she’d asked. She was that distracting.

“That comment wasn't about you. It was about my mother. She's the kind of person who takes in strays—animal, human, or otherwise. I'm not implying you're a stray or that I don't trust you. But leave it to my mom to rent out this room without bothering to mention to you who I was.”

“She didn't tell you she was renting it out?” Paisley squeaked.

I shook my head. “She's rented it out before, but she usually lets me know. This time, she told me after the fact. She's good friends with Janet, so I'm guessing Janet let her know you were looking for a place. As I'm sure you've already figured out, rentals aren’t easy to come by around here.”

“Yeah, I figured that out,” she replied dryly.

“We'll make it work. Have you had pizza from here before?” I asked.

Paisley lifted a slice of pizza, shaking her head before she took a bite.

“It's a newer restaurant in town, and they’d better not ever close,” I said.

She took a bite, closing her eyes after she finished chewing. She opened them, offering, “It's delicious.”

“Right?”

We ate in silence for a few minutes before she asked, “Do restaurants come and go around here often?”

I wiggled my free hand back and forth. “Sort of. Alaska's weird when it comes to the economy. Even in less populated areas like here, a lot of tourists visit from spring through fall. Sometimes, places open with a plan to cater to tourists. That works in some areas, mostly the busier towns where cruise ships dock. Willow Brook is sort of an in-between town. We're not too isolated, and we're close to Anchorage, but cruise ships can't get here. So, places need to plan to cater to locals. Pretty sure this place will stick around because locals are their main business. Speaking of staying, what's your plan? You just doing some firefighter-see-the-world kind of thing?”

She finished chewing and took a swallow of water. “Is that a thing?” A smile teased the corners of her mouth.

I shook my head. “Nah, I made it up. Hotshot firefighting isn't for everyone, though.”

I was more curious than I should’ve been about her answer. I was more curious about everything about Paisley than I should’ve been.

“I love the area so far. I don’t have a firm plan, but it all depends on how things work out. I like our crew so far.”

I figured I might as well be honest. “Now that I'm not being a cranky a*s, you mean?”

Her cheeks went a little pink, sending a jolt of l**t down my spine. “It's okay. I snapped at you too. We sorted it out, right?”

“After Graham made us talk,” I reminded her with a wink.

She laughed a little before glancing down at her plate. I opened my mouth to explain further, but I snapped it shut. I was relieved she wasn’t looking my way then. I couldn't exactly tell her I was seriously in l**t with her, and she was distracting as all hell. Because that would be crazy. I was pretty sure she couldn't stand me. Her eyes lifted again, and she nodded. “I hope so. I really want this to work out.”

I shifted gears in our conversation, figuring it was best not to dwell on the tension between us. “Alaska is full of transplants.”

Her brows hitched up in question. “Transplants?”

“People who move here from out of state and make it their home. Some people are running from something and figure they'll get far enough away here. Others just love the wilderness.”

“Oh.”

That one word had an edge to it, and it piqued my curiosity. Paisley didn't seem like the kind of person with a problematic past. I knew she was as clean as a whistle as far as her background went. Before we even interviewed her, they ran a background check on her. She didn't even have a speeding ticket on her record. Although, she was obviously daring. One had to be, as a hotshot firefighter. She was also thorough and careful when we were out in the field. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, my mind kept cataloging details about her.

“I’m going to see how it goes. I'm used to the winter because the Cascades in Washington get plenty cold. If things work out, I might stay.”

We got through dinner, and I actually relaxed a little, which was a miracle, considering Paisley left me tied up in knots physically. After we finished eating, she asked if there was an assigned section for her in the refrigerator.

All I said was, “Just take the bottom shelf,” because I knew it was empty. With just me here lately, I didn’t need all the space available, although I enjoyed cooking. Thanks to my mother's insistence, I was a pretty good cook. But life was busy, and I didn't have time to cook often. Cooking for myself also tends to make me feel lonely.

“Thanks for having dinner with me,” Paisley said. “Oh, and I'll pay you back for that pizza.”

I shook my head quickly. “No need.” Paisley opened her mouth to protest. “Seriously. My mom would lecture me.”

She blinked up at me. For just one second, I wanted to close that distance between us and kiss her lush mouth. But I had enough control to keep my feet where they were and didn’t move, not an inch.

Paisley c****d her head to the side, a glint entering her eyes. “So if I want something, I just need to mention your mom. Is that how it works?”

“Well now, I think you're teasing me, Paisley. Don't go crazy.”

She bit her lip, and her cheeks flushed again. “I won't.” She paused, glancing down where she traced her toes in a circle on the floor before looking back at me. “Honestly, if it's weird for me to be here, please just say so. I'll find a way to back out of it with your mom so she doesn't hold it against you.” At that, she practically dashed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, calling, “Good night!”

I took a breath and rested my hips against the counter, running a hand through my hair. It would be fine for her to be here, but holy hell, I needed to quench this relentless desire for her. She'd been with the crew about a month, and I’d only become more attuned to her with each passing day.

Leaning my head back, I stared up at the ceiling, muttering, “Fuck.”

The ceiling had no answer. In fact, it rather felt as if the ceiling were mocking me. My mother had been on my case about a relationship lately. I felt like I’d been thrown back into the era when mothers hounded their sons to find a good marriage and paired them off with whoever had the best dowry.

When I’d shared that with my mother, she’d glared at me. “No, it's just, you're a nice man, and I don't understand why you hardly date.”

I hewed to uncomplicated, casual relationships. I'd let it slip, and things had gone a little further with one woman last summer. I should’ve known better. She’d graciously accepted my explanation that I wasn't looking for a relationship. Even though she'd insisted we could stick with our arrangement, I hadn't wanted to string her along. It was already getting awkward.

I snagged a beer out of the fridge and went downstairs. The house was built into a sloping hill with the main entrance to the home on the center floor. My parents used to rent this house out with the central floor offering a shared kitchen and half-bath, and the upper and lower floors set up as two private apartments, each with a living room, bedroom, and full bathroom.

I made sure to close the door to my apartment and kicked my feet up on the coffee table. Beer in hand, I flipped through the TV channels and tried to forget Paisley was in the same building. It was to no avail.

Later on, I found myself in bed thinking about her plump lips and the way her T-shirt stretched across her breasts. Before I knew it, my hand slid over the aching length of my arousal. I found my release swiftly with Paisley filling my thoughts.