Cambion Love

Existence is Despair

    The people in the streets watched them and then looked away. This was not their problem. Exiles were not allotted doctors only food. Even if they could see a doctor no one would take the chance of being poisoned by her mysterious blood.

    As she steadied herself, she heard her mother say, “Leave me and take the food.”

    “Hush mom. We are going home. You just need to rest.” She replied then started to speed walk back to the walkway. 

    If they didn’t get going, they would have to persevere under the moonlight and in deeper waters. Alefa held the sack of food on her shoulders and watched her mother’s chest. As long as it kept moving her anxieties could be dealt with. Tears blinded her on her trip to the walkway. After what felt like hours of pushing through crowd the walkway laid before them.

    Thoughts of running home played in her head. But she couldn’t risk injuring her mother further. She hastened her pace and kept tabs on the warmth of her mother’s body. She was no longer going in and out of consciousness. Which made Alefa more anxious than before. 

Five hours in and her mother’s condition had not changed but the sun had started to set. The rising water started to cover the walkway. Every time the water splattered under her feet her heart jumped in her chest. She could lose her mother to whatever was ailing her or to the unforgiving swamp. This was the first time they did not make it home before dark. Terror had slowly started setting in. 

When the sun disappeared behind the horizon, the sound of birds lifting off and frogs settling in, filled the air. The water was now to her ankles and filling her shoes. 

“Oh shit.” Alefa closed her eyes and kept moving. She had walked this path; it was ingrained in her steps. If she didn’t panic, she believed they would make it.  The water was freezing and now she could feel small fish grazing her legs. Their house was in sight, but she was still a quarter of a mile away. Her arms were sore from trying to keep her mother’s body from touching the frigid waters.

“Mother. I’m so scared. Please wake up.” Alefa whispered while choking back her tears. She mentally listened for her footsteps to hit the ground since she could no longer see them. She took deep breathes as the waves to her left were increasing in size, moderately lifting her body from the ground. She held her mother in the air like a sacrifice to the moon as the water grazed her waist. The moment she reached the dugery, something in the water pushed her off her feet. With the little balance she had she threw her mother onto the grass.

The animal that sought to feast on her circled her body, pulling her into its whirlpool. As her head dipped under the water a furious panic set in. She was moving to the west rapidly and away from home. The swamp was murky. She would only be able to see above the water and even then, the moon was not kindly sharing its light.

“NO!” She screamed mentally. She pushed her body back towards the dugery. She was ready to rip whatever animal was keeping her from her duties apart. The next time her head ducked under she calmed herself then listened and felt the direction the animal was moving in. She pulled her fist back and timed the whirlpools motion. When she sensed the fish in front of her, she punched as hard as she could. When her strike landed, the whirlpool subsided. The smell of blood filled her nostrils. The urgency of getting out of the water had now tripled. Other swamp creatures would be attracted to the blood. She swam as fast had she could while keeping her head above water. 

The moment the dugery came into sight she could see her mother’s still unconscious body. She reached out and grabbed at the grass, pushed her fingers into the soil. She was getting out no matter the cost. She hoisted herself up on the dugery then rolled her body out of the water. Her body convulsed and her belly attempted to empty itself onto the grass. 

While dry heaving she kept moving towards her mother’s body. She didn’t have time to shake off the strain. She needed this woman, regardless of whether she was her real mother or not. She crawled on her knees continuously coughing up water and swamp weed. When she reached her mother, she scooped her up in her arms and forced herself to her feet. [MOVE! DAMN IT!] 

She pushed the door open to their home and laid her mother in the bed. She ran to get the medicine they had concocted from one of the medical books. Her legs wobbled but she willed herself to keep going. She was running off the pure fear of losing another mother. Grabbing the paper envelope that held the exact dosage needed, she ran back over to her mother and emptied the envelope into her mouth. She poured rice water after it and massaged her throat.

After the solution made its way down her throat, she lifted her mom’s body and held her close. The tears she had struggled for hours to stifle finally came to the surface. She rubbed her mother’s back and rocked back and forth with her. [Please mama. Wake up.] She kept repeating her wishes hoping she could speak them into existence. 

When her mother started to cough, she pulled away and handed her a handkerchief. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I don’t think I can stay too much longer.”

“Mama no.” Alefa’s nose ran along with her eyes. Her body felt weak like she could lose consciousness at any moment.

“Hold on for me. I have a few things I want to tell you while I can.”

“Okay.”

“When I found you, there were soldiers carrying off two adult bodies. Which led me to believe your parents are no longer with us. I’m sorry. {pauses to collect her thoughts} On another hand, I can tell you that, if you are here…you are what is called a rogue. A person who is a criminal or an exile from a place called Yanrana. A long time ago, I met a gorgeous man who had your eyes and your skin when I was visiting the palace with my family. His name was Liv. “In the midst of her information dump, coughing overtook her. Alefa rubbed her mother’s back, in an effort, to provide comfort.

Her coughing was painfully replaced by wheezing. Alefa stared into her mother’s eyes. Her eyes looked the same way they did at the storefront. But this time she was almost sure if they closed, they would not open again. 

As Aria struggled to catch her breath, she held her daughter’s hand tight. She may not have given birth to her, but she was her gift. In a world that cast her out to live in shame, muddled in that cold dugery, an angel had beseeched her. She looked up at the birth mark near Alefa’s right eye and rubbed her thumb over it. She would give anything to see her grow into an adult and maybe find her purpose in life. A tear ran down her cheek as the little energy she possessed sought to leave her.

“I love you so much my little Leaf, but I need you to find Liv. Don’t stay in this shithole. Live ….fo………..me.” Her mother’s voice went from trying to be strong to fading out. Her last breath left her body, the warmth brushed passed Alefa cheek.  Alefa’s air caught in her throat as she struggled to understand why.  She held her mother’s body and cried out to her to come back to her. She knew her mother was ill, but she always thought she had more time. Just one book to read together at night. Just one more walk to the market. Just one more anything would suffice.

Soon her throat became dry, her empty tummy filled with pain still yearning to be fed. [How selfish.] She gently laid her mother back onto the bed as something caught her eye. She looked over at the nightstand next to their bed and there laid an envelope. She opened the envelope and small gold chain with a gold metal plate in the middle of it fell out. Her name was engraved on it.  On the back was a date. It was the date that her adoptive mother always told her was her special day.

Alefa always forgot that date. It didn’t feel as special to her as it did to her mother. 

“It’s my birthday?” Alefa whispered. That day, the saddest day in her life, was her birthday. She hated herself for forgetting. As she went to sit the envelope back on the nightstand, a fairly small piece of paper slid out.

‘Im sorry I didn’t remind you it was your birthday. I didn’t want to celebrate and then…..leave you.’

“Damn it, Mama!” Alefa yelled out into the shadows of the room. She sat holding the bracelet and staring at mom’s lifeless body, the icy coldness of the dugery was setting in. She could see her breath. Her tears felt like they were freezing on her face. She pulled the blanket up to her mother’s chest.  Even though the tears had slowed, she felt like the pain would go on forever. She lit their small fireplace. It never really helped so her and her mother normally cuddled together to keep warm. 

The thought of not being able to hold her during the night, weakened her knees as she toppled to the floor. She looked forward with her mouth partially open humming her sorrows. She thought, “Maybe if I go to sleep now, we could be together.”