With Kasey gone, Evan usually spent the day in a monotonous routine of eating and napping and staring at the television, napping some more until it was time to go to bed for the night. By himself, the days stretched out in front of him with a frightening clarity, an emptiness he fought to stave off with sleep. It was an escape, true, and a poor one at that, because he’d dream of Charlie and in those dreams he’d be loved, he’d be safe, he’d be held, and when he woke up, it was usually with a raging hard-on and a desperation clinging to him as the dreams faded. A few quick jerks with his hand—the extent of his s*x life now, and that was an escape, as well, a way to make the pain disappear, a way to pass the time. He’d sigh his friend’s name in his pillow as he came in his hand, then wipe the
