A Christmas Love

Proposal

I shut my eyes and lent my forehead against the closed door, that woman away knew how to ruin my day... I got lost in memories of her... how I had to clean up after her when she was too drunk to do anything, the amount of times I burned myself trying to cook when she left groceries. Other times I lived on water and prayer.

We had no other family, at least that's what she told me. Ron was never there for anything that happened in school and I always found myself making up reasons why she never showed up for a parent-teaching meeting or even when I was the angel in a Christmas play. All she cared about were pagans because they brought in money.

I tried asking her about my father, hoping that she would share memories of him with me, but all I ever got was, he left because you behaved like a spoiled little s**t. There were times when she was so drunk just the sight of me infuriated her, and she would smack me across the face...

******

"If it weren't for you, I would still have the love of my life. I should have just given you up at birth or, better yet, made away with you before you were even born."

Then she would shove and kick me, drag me by my hair and lock me up in my room the next morning. She would let me out and pretend nothing had happened, like locking up and beating your four-year-old was normal. I grew to resent her... I hated the mere fact that she of all people was my mother.

I remember at the age of seven I nearly burned the house down trying to cook something. Luckily for me, the neighbor saw the smoke just in time or god forbid, that would have been the end of me. If the fire didn't kill me, she most definitely would. When Mr Losch asked me where my mother was and why I was trying to cook on my own, I lied.

I knew that if people found out she left me alone, often I would be taken away and be sent to live with people. I didn't know people that could very well hurt me or worse than she did... so my mother drilled it into me that if anyone asked me where she was, I should lie or get sent away... as a young child, all I ever wanted to do was please her, protect her and love her.

I was willing to do almost anything for her, but as I grew I realized that she would never have done anything like that for me... I told Mr Losch that my mother was working, and I wanted to surprise her with dinner when she got home from work... he gave me a lecture about safety and ended up taking me to the store to buy ready-made food after seeing that there was nothing left to cook.

Later in life, when I started making friends and visiting them at their homes, did I see how mothers were supposed to love their children... I wished my mother loved me even just a fraction like theirs did, them. I found a mother though... June has the sweetest woman as a mother, and she took me in with open arms...

Before June found out about what my mother did and that I even had a mother, she noticed I never left the campus during the holidays and, even though she tried asking me why I never answered her... she invited me along one year for Thanksgiving and even though I said no she called her mum and well as sweet as she was no one could say no to her.

Since then, I have been to every family occasion June had, and I finally knew what love from a real mother should feel like... aunt Amy, June's mother, proved to me that maybe if I had said something when I was younger I might have gotten a better mother than the one I had… maybe I would have gotten a good family, one that loved me for me.

I pushed off the door and shook my head to rid myself from the memories of Ron... when my cell rang...

phone conversation.

Hey June, whats up?

Uhm hey... are you busy?

Mmm I just put out the trash. Why is something wrong?

By trash, do you mean Ron or real trash?

Ron...

Let me guess Conner bawled his eyes out and now she wants to fix it?

Tried, I didn't give her the time of day.

That woman, so you're needed at the hospital...

But I am off. And shouldn't Lesley be calling?

Lesley was about to, but I told her I would.

Is something wrong?

No not really, it's just that a certain someone said if he is going to accept help he is only accepting it from his fiancé...

Then why not let her help?

She chuckled...

That's why I am calling... Come in, Hudson insists on only having you as his nurse... by the way, I thought best friend meant that I got any interesting news first...

I went on to explain what really happened, and she couldn't hold her laugh... after telling her I would be coming in, in the next hour. I hung up and sighed heavily... That asshole was taking this way too far... I got into the shower and, yes, I took my own damn time to ready myself, but in the back of my mind I kept on begging myself to hurry. What if he really needed help?

Then I would just push that thought aside, reminding myself that if something was very wrong June would have told me so. After I was done readying myself, I locked up and left for the hospital. When I arrived, June was waiting for me in the locker room.

"You've been holding out on me, haven't you?"

She giggled...

"No, it was an honest mistake. The man just lost his wife, June."

"Well, he didn't want help from anyone but his fiancé."

Bastard, I whispered under my breath. If word got out, it would spread like wildfire among the rest of the nurses and I didn't need that, I had enough s**t that I needed to deal with. Starting with the asshole in room B12, I changed, then headed for his room. Honestly, I was fuming inside. When I got to his room, I pushed open the door and stepped inside.

"She came."

"It's going to take me alot more than that to get me to c*m. Now hand that over. It is not a toy."

I said to him, he had this weird smirk on his face and I realized what I had just said... it sounded s****l, didn't it?

"What's wrong love?"

"Don't you love me! You cannot go around claiming I am your fiancé."

He looked over at his left hand that I slipped the ring onto and then looked back at me smugly.

"I beg to differ."

I blew out a breath. He was starting to get on my last nerve. I stared at him trying to make out his face, still badly damaged from his accident. Different shades of blues and purples littered his face, and it was hard to tell what he really looked like... but those eyes.... something about them seemed so familiar like I had seen them before.

It could be that I saw him at the office Conner worked at, but I would remember that, wouldn't I? He c****d his head slightly to the side as he watched me, his hair falling over his eyes ever so slightly...

"I have a proposal for you."

he whispered