Honey brown eyes

GERMANY TO THE UNITED KINGDOM

EVA P.O.V

 I woke up with a sound of alarm clock; I rubbed my eyes and remove the curtains to the side that is blocking my view to look outside. The birds are chirping and happy flying in the sky and the sky is looking so beautiful, I have never seen this beauty before, may be this is everybody morning but this morning is the new beginning of my life.

I am staying in Germany since I born but tomorrow I am shifting to united kingdom because my father got the high paying job there but I don’t want to go because then I have to meet new people which is the most tough task for me. I am not good at talking to people or socializing, it’s not like that I don’t want to but it’s just that people don’t like me due to me appearance because according to them I look like a beggar who wears baggy clothes or I am not like the other girls of my age who likes to dress up or do different sought of makeup. Wearing baggy clothes makes me comfortable and hideous  and I know I can never be comfortable in those short dresses

I am raised in a simple middle class family where people are only concerned about my studies but this is not the only thing I want, I want to fly like these birds in the sky and want people to love me but I guess I have to take next birth for all this.

I was busy in admiring the beauty of the scenery outside my window when there is a knock on my door that forces me to come back to my real boring life.

“You don’t have to knock mom to come into my room” I said to my mom who is standing outside the door. My mom is very beautiful woman of her age she has a medium height with brown hairs mid waist length and beautiful shade of eye color that is honey brown, I have taken her genes in terms of eyes and I wish I have the confidence that she have.

“Hi sweetie, I knock because I don’t want to invade your privacy and how did you know it’s me” my mom said and enter into my room with the tray of breakfast in it

“Mom, its only three of us in this house and besides that dad never knock before coming into my room so who is left?” I said to my mom in usual tone

Oh, ya you are right sweetheart. I just came to give you your breakfast” my mom said and put the tray on my bed

“Eva, why are you looking outside, there is nothing special there it’s all usual, come and have breakfast” mom said when I was looking outside the window, I turn around and walk towards my bed

“The breakfast smells nice mom, thank you” I thanked my mom for the breakfast

“Eva what’s the matter with you, since your dad announced that we are shifting to United Kingdom. You seems to be very upset and after that you don’t do breakfast with us” she said to me and I sit on my bed without saying anything and put breakfast tray on my lap

“Eva, I am talking to you, why you can’t be like normal teenager girl” she said to me in fed up tone, I so wanted to say that I am not normal like other girls because I have lack of confidence and I can’t do anything about this but I didn’t say it

“Because I am not like everyone and mom please don’t mind but I want to stay alone for today because tomorrow we are going to shift to united kingdom and before that I want to memorize very moment in this house” I said with sad tone

“Sweetheart, we are not selling this house, we can come to Germany whenever you want and guess what, your dad has got admission form of the best high school in united kingdom  for you because now he can afford it” my mom said with happiness in her voice

“I am happy” I said and then she kissed on my forehead and left my room, now I am all alone. I love my parents but I usually don’t spend time with them because I know if I talk to them I will get breakdown, there are lot of secrets in my life which I want it to be secret for the rest of my live. There is lot of things in my life which I wanted to share but unfortunately I have none because of my low confidence so I maintain a diary in which I write everything, all my emotion that I don’t share with anyone.

I finish my breakfast which is the best thing that happens to me since morning, today I have to go to my old school to collect my document but I don’t want to go because people there doesn’t like me and they will bully me but I have to do it. I like to spend time alone, I still remember when I was a child I was never like this, I used to talk with lot of people but with time I lose my confidence when I got rejected in dance competition and after that I face lot of rejection in my life that results into my low self esteem.

I get up from the bed and take out my loose black trousers and a basic t-shirt of red color and go towards the bathroom. I take off my clothes and look myself into the mirror without clothes. I have a petite figure with 5’4 inch height, I have a fair complexion without any glow and long black hairs but I always tie my hair in a bun to avoid unwanted attention because with time I understood that everybody is only after your looks nobody really cares about what are you from inside so it’s better if people took me as a non- existent person. I have a best friend that is my books.

I open the shower and stand in it, today is my last day is Germany so first I will collect my documents from school then I will go to my favorite place. I turn off the shower and wrap a towel around me and came out of the washroom.

I wear my clothes to hide myself into it so that people doesn’t notice me, it makes me uncomfortable and hesitant if anyone took notice of me. I am actually quite opposite of my parents because they can mix up with anyone but I on the other hand avoids talking to people due to my introvert nature.

I live in a small and cozy house but the new house which I am going to shift in is kind off big. I make a bun of my hair and put hoodie on my head and take my bag pack to go to school. I exited my room only to find that my mom and dad are having a serious discussion. I don’t think it’s a good idea to say ‘bye’ to them as they are already indulged in some serious conversation. I started walking

“Stop Eva” dad turn around and said and I stopped in mid track

“Good morning dad” I said because they are my people and I am confident around them

“Good morning Eva, your mom told me that u r not happy about this whole transfer thing” dad asked me and I look at mom but she didn’t make an eye contact with me

“I never said it to mom but you are right I am not happy infact I am nervous because I am going to be in whole new country, you know me dad I have a confidence issue and it is really tough for me to cope up with me, I am living here in Germany since birth but still I didn’t have a single friend” I told him and my eyes brim with tears

“Sweetie, you were never liked this in childhood then what happened why you are not enjoying your life like other people do like partying, making friends or hanging out with them. You are our daughter and our daughter has no lack of confidence, you just have to realize that sweetie, I really hope united kingdom will change you for the better” he told me and I feel betrayed like my parents are not understanding, when I needed them the most after my first rejection they were not with me because they were busy in making their careers.

“Dad, don’t you love me, are you ashamed of me like I am not like others” I asked him with moisture in my eyes

“No, sweetie I love you as you are, it’s just that I feel you are not happy and I know we talked about this earlier but I raised this topic today because I want you to start all over in united kingdom” my dad said and hugged me

“We love you Eva, you are our only daughter and besides that you are the most beautiful girl in this whole world ever” mom said to cheer me up

“I will try and I am getting late for school as I have to get my documentation” I wiped my tears and hugged them then left the home and headed towards my school

Another thing is waiting for me there