The Shadow Wolf

Three

Rip:

    Meeting new friends isn't something I know how to do. The people I surround myself with are people who I've chosen to be part of my guard. Soldiers. Meeting Ezra and her sister is different. It's more than just an obligation. I finally made a friend that doesn't come with crazy baggage. She's normal. What I need right now. 

    Mikhail is sitting on the bench inside my apartment building waiting for me. He stood up when I walked in with the container filled with ravioli leftovers. Ezra had insisted I take some home with me since she had made so much. He looked down at it and smiled.

    "You're eating that's good," I would have yelled at him if he had disappeared on me the way I had disappeared on him.

    "Leftovers. I met this girl. She and her sister made me dinner and I ate a lot. Want some? It's really good," he took it, looking at the clear container with food and shook it a little.

    "Friends?" he asked. I nodded as we got into the elevator. "Okay. I'm glad something is happening. I want to talk about your new arrangements. Mom told me you moved here and I was kind of hoping you'd come with me to my loft. There is more than enough space for you there,"

    "I appreciate that, but I think I got it. Mikhail, I just need to cope with this alone you know. I got myself into this s**t and I have to deal with it,"

    "Your new friends. Are they..?"

    "Human? Yes," I confirmed as I unlocked my door. "I'm... being around other wolves is a little hard for me right now. You know what this implies Mika. I just need time,"

    "Alright. I'll talk to mom and dad. I honestly thought you'd be worse," he admitted as we walked in.

    My apartment is a two-bedroom steampunk almost loft-like beauty. I haven't put anything in the spare room. All my boxes are kind of littering my living room, but I can tell he is impressed. I put everything down and began to heat up my leftovers for him. Mikhail is always hungry he can eat for hours nonstop. Which is crazy considering his physique. 

    "Tour?" I asked.

    "This is the steampunk place you told me about when we were in high school," he smirked, looking back at me and I nodded. "I love it. I might just move in with you,"

    "I have a spare room," I shrugged pointing across the way.

    "It's so open. I'm in love. I thought you said they didn't have any openings,"

    "One came up a few months ago and I didn't think twice," I placed the plate in front of him.

    "Months? Did you know, Rip?" he asked looking at me. He seems surprised.

    "Yeah," I nodded. "I gave him most of my attention when I came back, Mika. I know him inside out,"

    "Why didn't you say anything?"

    "For what? So that you and mom can accuse me of being a f*****g head case again? Would you have believed me? In the middle of planning my wedding, what would you have thought if I would have just thrown it out there? Like hey, Mika I think my fiance is having an affair,"

    "You're right. You would have looked like you were getting cold feet," he agreed, stuffing his face. "f**k this is amazing,"

    "I wanted to show mom I wasn't crazy. I wasn't going to do it anyway. We weren't supposed to be together. I just thought he'd have it in him to tell me. He had months to figure out what to say. I needed him to do it the right way. Not like this,"

    "He came to the house. He talked to dad," he mumbled, in between bites. I served him a glass of white wine.

    "And?" I asked putting the bottle back in the cooler.

    "Dad beat the s**t out of him. They're worried. You disappeared. Audrey finally told mom where you were,"

    "Dad sent in the negotiator," I laughed and he smiled. "If you're going to move in go ahead. I only have one rule,"

    "Put the seat down?"

    "One night stands are restricted to your room. I don't want any of my s**t missing and the rooms have their own bathroom,"

    "I'm not bringing anyone. I promise. One night stands happen at their place," he rolled his eyes before drinking the wine. "Mmm, this is good,"

    "Classy. Good night Mikhail," I smiled.

    "Hey, tomorrow morning. I'm going to pick you up be ready. I'll see about my lease okay?" I nodded tossing my keys at him.

    "Wash your dishes, please. The couch becomes a bed if you're coming back later. That T.V. has Hulu," I pointed at everything awkwardly set up in the living room. 

    Mikhail is the typical older brother. Overprotective and loveable. Even when I wanted nothing more than to strangle him into silence, most of the time he's the only person that keeps my head straight. I knew he was going to do this as soon as he found me. Which is why I went with the two-bedroom. Mom would kill him if he found out I was living here alone. My dad would resurrect him only to kill him again for the same thing.

    I love this place. The massive round window overlooks the outskirts of the city. The abandoned factories are being remodeled for new loft space. It's very industrial. The owner of this building is big on steampunk living. He wanted to recreate his obsession and share it with people like him and here it is. Making art to live in is my favorite kind of creativity. I was a sophomore in high school when this building was being built here. I knew I'd live here one day. 

    The full moon is shining down on me calling me for a run. It's tempting. Even for just a little while but I can't. Not right now. The wolf in me is struggling with what had happened. My pain makes me dangerous tonight. Everything is blurry once again. The shadow is starting to gain power because of this.

    Stephen. I had known for a long time that we had grown apart. Not that we had been very close, to begin with. The circumstances I had found him in wasn't something either one of us could forget. I had never planned on any of this. When I took him from the hell he had been in I had seen potential in the pain of a boy who had his world shattered by those he loved the most. 

    So why does it hurt like this? Why am I hurting this much? I've had months to get over the loss. I've been planning a life without him. Yet, the ache still beats strong in my chest. I've almost drowned a couple of times and this feels a lot like that. This is a little worse. I don't know which direction is up. Everything is dark. 

    I guess I had thought he would have changed his mind when we were up there. I thought he might see what it was he would be losing and he'd stay. I thought I would be the one to say I couldn't do it. Had I wanted him to stay or was it the fact that I wasn't going to be the one that finished it? 

    That's it. It hurts because he didn't let me be the irresponsible one for once. I had wanted to be the one that stood in front of the pack with my head held high. I had wanted them to continue seeing me the way they always had. I wanted to be the she-wolf I thought I was before all of this. This hurts because it didn't go according to my plan. I always have a plan. This hurt is as strong as it is because his decision makes me angry. It's feeding this inside of me. If I shift tonight, there will be blood. The wolf in me demands it, it's what she does. We are, after all, the Demon Wolf.