The Seeing Mate

7.

He walked ahead of me as I took in my surroundings. The cabin was built about a yard away from a river, and surrounded by trees. The road, I looked back, was hidden very well. I wondered if anyone else even knew he lived this far out?

"Town is only a thirty minute drive. Whenever you want to go, just let me know."

"Does anyone else know you live out here?"

"Yeah, my company does, but I have a home line, and a cellphone they can call in case of anything."

I glared at him, he was teasing me for being paranoid. He unlocked the door and let me in first. When I walked in, I was hit by a totally different living space.

On the outside, it was a cabin, but inside was a modern house. There was a stone fireplace, dark gray couches, the kitchen was dark granite, with an island dividing the kitchen and the dining room. There was colored artwork on the walls, nothing over the top, but beautiful pieces of sunsets, or mountains or just lakes and rivers. This was a home, not what Max had. It felt more like a business building than a home.

"Like it?" he said, putting my bags down.

I shook myself and just nodded.

"Why all the way out here?" I said, sitting down on the couch.

"I like my space, and I hate the loud cities and the nosy small town neighbors."

I nodded in agreement, and looked out the big windows.

"I'll show you to your room," he said. That statement took me by surprise and it hurt a little. I followed him and he walked me to the room just up the stairs.

It was void of personality and color. I felt cold when I walked in.

"You can decorate it as you wish," he said casually. His words made me sad.

"Thanks, um...so why...nevermind." I ended up saying, trying to hold back my tears, he was going to treat this just like a business deal. Well, I really had no right to complain. I've made it clear to him that I wasn't interested in him now...but I thought....or I wished I could let go of my anger, and really give this arrangement a chance. I guess that was out the window.

"Get comfortable, I'll be out here if you need anything."

"Okay, thanks." I said in a small voice. He walked out and closed the door. Once he did, I walked over to the bed, and plopped on it. Tears were running down my face. I was pissed off with everyone. Including myself.

I laid on the bed, and silently cried myself to sleep. It was still early, but I just felt exhausted these past few days. My dreams were of my mom at first, but then they were of a man. I couldn't see his face, but Mom kept warning me to be careful with him. That was all the warning I was getting, but then it would turn into Josh.

"You still love him, hon, why do you fight it so much?"

I heard my mom's voice as Josh came toward me and kissed me.

I jolted awake, and looked around. I was breathing heavily and shaking a little, my body hurt or more. Somewhere between my legs hurt. This was going to be harder than I thought.

Three weeks and I was like a walking zombie. I wasn't sleeping well, I didn't feel like eating even when Josh was an amazing cook, and Josh was always in his office working. I was taking naps during the day, but it wasn't much help. My dreams were so explicit and when I woke up my body would ache, I was so freaking aroused all the time. Then there was the dream of the man. My mom kept telling me to be careful, then she started to tell me about someone called Samuel, to find Samuel.

I would wake up saying the damn name, I would be thinking how in the hell was I going to find him when she wasn't giving me any other clue. One day, I called Amelia. She had to know who Samuel was. I let it ring a few times, when Brack's voice answered at the other end.

"Hello?"

"Bracks, it's Camila."

"Camila, how did you get this number?"

"Josh gave it to me, I guess you do have a phone."

He sighed in frustration.

"What did you need?"

"Is Amelia around?"

"No actually, she and Shawna went into town, but your great aunt is here...."

"No, that's okay. Could you tell Amelia to call me back at this number?"

"What do I look like an errand boy?"

"That's exactly what you are, Bracks!"

"Hey, brat, fine. whatever...I'll tell her you called!" he laughed and we hung up.

I went to the couch and sat down with a book I had decided to read, and dozed off. The damn dream of Samuel came back. Mom kept saying his name over and over. I jolted awake.

"Samuel!" I yelled angrily.

"Who's Samuel?" I heard Josh behind me, and I froze. Carefully, I turned to look at him. He had a very serious look on his face, his eyes, however, told me he was mad.

"He's a character from the book I'm reading, Mr. Nosy!" I said, being snippy.

It was obvious he didn't believe me, but he didn't really have anything else to go on.

"Amelia called. She's on the phone."

"Okay thank you!" I said quickly, going to the spot where the phone was.

"Amelia."

"Hey, Mila, Bracks said you called. What's going on?"

"Do you know someone named Samuel?"

I asked her quickly. She thought about it for a minute.

"No, I've never met anyone named Samuel. Why?"

"Mom keeps coming to me in a dream. She tells me of two men, one with no face or name and the other is named Samuel."

Quiet again.

"Sorry, hon, but I have no idea what to tell ya. I've never heard of a Samuel we know, but let me look through some things and I'll get back to you."

"Thank you."

"How are things with your man?" she changed subjects. I laughed humorlessly.

I told her about my s*x dreams and how I was waking up in desperate need of cold showers.

"It's the mating bond, at this stage you two should be going at it like rabbits!"

I felt my throat go dry.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I'm surprised..I mean if you're feeling it, he's really got to be feeling it."

"When will it go away?"

"Never really but it will go down, so right now you're in a kinda heat."

"But I'm not...wolf."

"No, but you're mated to one, and some of the things they feel, you'll be feeling."

I groaned in frustration.

"Amelia, what am I going to do? I freakin back myself into a corner!"

"Hon, you need to talk to him, make sure where you stand."

I sighed in misery.

"I don't feel like I have a right to ask him anything."

"Okay well, you'll need to put your pride aside and be a big girl and talk to him like a damn adult!"

"I know but..."

"Mila, it's been thirteen years, get over it!"

That pissed me off, but she was right.

"Fine, I'll see what happens."

"In the mean time, I'll look around and let you know what I find."

"Thanks, talk to you soon."

"Take it easy."

We hung up and I sat there in frustration. I hated being a grown up sometimes, but she was right. I needed to talk this out with Josh. We were mated and it was going to be a long miserable road if there was no middle ground. Getting to my feet, I went looking for him.

"Josh?" I called, but there was no answer. I went to look in his office, his room, but he was nowhere to be found.

A cold dreading feeling started to wash over me and I couldn't catch my breath. Was I having a panic attack? I sat down and just took deep breaths. I ran to my room and just hid in the closet. My mind was flying with negative thoughts.

"He'll be back...right..he can't just..walk away!"

"He did last time."

"Shut up! That...was different!"

"Was it though, you needed him back then too!"

I screamed in frustration, but just focused my mind on other things. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep, until I heard a door close. I was still in the closet. Carefully, I grabbed the heaviest thing I could lift and walked out of my room. It was dark. I looked down stairs, but then I looked up and found Josh's room light on and hear the shower running. I put the thing I had in my hands down and went up stairs to his room.

I knocked lightly but didn't say anything, and just walked in carefully. A tension was in the air, and it was making me on edge. I dropped into a chair and just waited, the shower turned off. I was not expecting what happened next.

Josh walked out completely naked, toward his closet. The man was a sculpture of pure muscle. He wasn't ripped more buffed then anything.

"Did you need something or are you going to sit there and gawk at me?" he said coldly and with a bit of a growl in his tone.

I snapped out of it, and looked away.

"Where did you go? I was getting worried." I said getting to my feet and walking toward him. My voice shaky and almost on the verge of tears. Damn it!

He looked at me now curious but I could still see the anger in his eyes. He got his sweats on and sat down.

" Were you with someone when we went looking for you?" he asked.

"What does...No, I've been...no." I said not sure what he was getting at with that question.

"Have you been sexually involved with other men?" he asked I could tell the answer to this question was important.

"Why does it matter what I've done in the past?" I asked back not willing to admit that I was still a virgin.

"So your aunt lied to my father, about you being pure, that can be punishable..."

"Screw you, Joshua!" I said, now turning away from him and heading for the door. I didn't even take a step when I felt him pull me off my feet, throw me on the bed, and pinned me under him.

When I looked up into his eyes, it wasn't Josh, it was his wolf.

"Who the f**k is Samuel!?" he snarled, tightening his hold on my arms which he pinned over my head.

"When you figure that out, let me know. Because I have no f*****g clue who that is either!" I shouted back at him, all fear gone.

He glared but got off me. I slowly got to my feet and walked out of the room to my own. When I got there, I closed the door behind me and broke down in tears.

For a few days I didn't leave the room. I was too tired to move. Whatever the bond was doing to me, was really making me sick. Along with my sleepless nights, I just couldn't move.

About the third day, there was a knock at the door. I didn't answer, but he didn't wait.

"Camila, we're going back to my father's pack." he said gently, but it was like he had plunged a knife into my heart.

"Fine." I said and he walked out. Weakly, I packed a bag. I got in the shower and just let the water sooth me a bit. After I was done, I got out and got dressed. I was just getting my boots on, when Josh came in again.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, I'm packing light, you can send me my stuff later." I said, standing and grabbing my bag. Walking past him.