Finding Home Box Set

Chapter 5: Sunflowers and Showers

Chapter 5: Sunflowers and ShowersJosh started the car and turned on the interior light.

“Urgh.” Oz squinted and turned away, but Josh didn’t care.

“Let me look at you.” He touched Oz’s shoulder lightly.

“I’m fine.”

There was dried blood on Oz’s hands, but he couldn’t see any in his hair which was good. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Eyes so pale they couldn’t be called anything other than grey turned his way. A small wrinkle appeared between Oz’s brows as if confused. It was that confusion that worried him. Simply because there wasn’t any blood in his hair didn’t mean he hadn’t hit his head.

“I’m fine.”

“We’ll see.” Josh grinned and started driving. He turned the heating to the max in hopes of making Oz more comfortable. “Keep talking.”

“What? I’m fine. You can see that I’m fine.” Desperation shone in his eyes, and Josh debated letting him off the hook…but no. He liked hearing him talk. He had a lilt to his voice he hadn’t heard before, and the slightly raspy tone might very well be from having spent too long in the water, but Josh liked it.

“There is no way I can say you’re fine simply by looking at you for two seconds in crappy car lighting. How long have you known Aiden?”

Oz glared at him, and Josh bit his cheek not to grin.

“I don’t know Aiden.”

“You don’t? I could’ve sworn he introduced you back in town.”

“Now you’re just being…Sorry.”

This time, Josh did grin. “What am I being?”

“Nothing, I didn’t mean…I met Aiden at the Bodywork Institute where we studied. Not together, we took different classes, but it’s a pretty small school and after a while…” He shrugged. “By the time we were finished everyone knew each other.”

“Okay, and then you stayed in touch?” Josh glanced at him, once again seeing that small wrinkle appear.

“On and off. I-I met Guy soon after, and Aiden…I guess he started working at the hotel.”

“In Whiteport?”

“Erm…yeah, Whiteport.” Oz rested his head against the backrest, his eyes only half open.

“So…” What should he ask now? “How come you’re going to work with Aiden now?” Tension crawled into the car. Oswald sat up straighter again, and Josh almost regretted his question.

“I…erm…left Guy and…” He shrugged.

Left Guy, huh. Well, better to leave than be left. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay; it’s been Two hundred and seventy-three days, I’m actually at the two hundred and seventy-fourth—by this time at night I had left Whiteport.”

Joshua rubbed his chest. What should he do with that information? “You’re…erm…on friendly terms?”

Oswald shrugged. “I don’t know. He was…quite angry with me, of course.”

“Of course?”

“Well, yes. I ruined our wedding.”

Before Josh could do anything to stop himself, he white-knuckled the steering wheel, but with a deep breath and a lot of will, he managed to loosen his grip. “You were to be married?” s**t, that was more than just a broken relationship, it was a shattered dream.

“Yes.” That one word held so much longing, so much sorrow that Josh was willing to let him off the hook about talking. “But I did the right thing. I never would’ve been enough, and he deserves someone who can be that for him.”

The car was turning warm and toasty, and Josh was almost sad he’d soon have to drag Oz out into the cold again, but right now, he so badly wanted to escape this conversation that he was looking forward to it.

“I’m boring you.”

“No! No, absolutely not.” Boring wasn’t the word—making him uncomfortable maybe, though Josh didn’t know why. He didn’t have to do anything other than listen and he’d normally have no problem with that no matter the topic, but…He couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Could be the counting of days…Yeah, that’s it. Someone who knew it was two hundred and something days had not moved on. It didn’t matter. Josh wasn’t here to hook up; he was here to save a life, apparently.

“I know I’m boring. Mind-numbing. I’ll be quiet now.”

“Oh, no. You’re to keep on talking. What’s your favourite…colour?” Josh would’ve rolled his eyes at himself if he weren’t afraid Oswald would take it to mean he was rolling his eyes at him.

* * * *

Colour? Oswald tapped his toe against the floor liner seven times. What colour did he like? “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know your favourite colour?”

He’d failed an easy question. Oswald wasn’t good at conversations—Guy had that right. “I…erm…I guess it depends…”

“On?” Joshua smiled.

He’s just trying to be nice. “Well, for instance, I look ill if I wear a yellow jumper, so not yellow for clothes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like yellow in…say flowers. I love sunflowers, very pretty.”

Joshua took a left turn into a narrow driveway and stopped by a log cabin surrounded by large trees. Oswald couldn’t tell if they were oak or beech, but they surrounded the cabin like a cloak. His breath caught, so peaceful—a secret place hidden away from the world. “It’s beautiful.”

Josh frowned at him. “It’s dark. You can’t see shit.”

“Yeah, no, I guess, but…” He’d said the wrong thing, again.

“Come on, let’s get you out of those clothes so I can have a look at you.” Joshua opened the door and hopped out. Have a look at him? What did that mean?

Oswald followed, his intestines turning into a messy ball of yarn. Joshua had saved him from the water without yelling at him, he’d taken time out of his schedule to make sure Oswald was okay, and he’d promised him dry clothes, but what did he expect in return? He drummed his thumb against his thigh. One-two-three-four-five-six—

“This is it.” Joshua held the door open, and Oswald’s breath stuttered. He hurried to tap his thumb again before moving forward, needing to get the seven taps in before he could move on.

Joshua tilted his head to the side and watched him. The light from the lamp next to the door lit Joshua’s hair, making it appear redder than it had that morning. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

The way Joshua’s eyes narrowed made Oswald think he might not have sounded very convincing. “Of course, you are, you were just out for a late-night swim in the river.”

“It’s not that late.” Oswald winced; he should shut up. But Joshua didn’t shout at him, he grinned and shook his head.

“Come on. I’m beginning to think you like walking around dripping wet.”

“I do not.” Oswald bit his tongue, just because Joshua hadn’t yelled at him before didn’t mean he had the patience of a saint.

“Come on, now.” Joshua still had a smile on his lips as he ushered Oswald inside the cabin. “It’s not big, and it’s a little…not done, but it’s liveable.”

Oswald looked at the bare walls with spots of spackle, the buckets and painting materials in the corner and the sofa and TV in the middle of the floor covered by protective plastic. “You’re renovating?”

“A necessary evil. There was a short circuit in the kitchen, the entire northwest corner of the cabin went up in flames.”

“Shit.” Oswald could only imagine seeing his home going up in flames—or no, he couldn’t. He frowned. He didn’t have a home, had never had one. He’d believed he and Guy would build one together, but the flat hadn’t been his. They’d bought some of the things together, sure, but it was Guy’s flat and despite Oswald saving as much as he could so they could buy a house together, Guy hadn’t been all that willing to move.

“Yeah. Though it could’ve been so much worse.”

Oswald nodded.

“So, a shower?”

For him alone? Oswald tried looking at Joshua without being caught doing so, but the shivers still keeping possession of his body made it hard to do anything subtly. He tapped his right forefinger seven times against the inside of his left wrist.

“Go take a shower. Bathroom’s in there, towels on the shelf, and if you leave the door open, I’ll bring some clothes for you.”

“You’re going to come into the bathroom while I shower?” And do what? What did he want Oswald to do?

“Or I can go find you some clothes now that you can take with you, no big deal.”

Oswald forced himself to breathe. “No, it’s okay. I’m being silly.”

“It’s okay, Oz. I’ll just go grab them.”

“No, no. Take your time.” s**t, he couldn’t even let the man find him some clothes in peace. No wonder Guy had needed a few days away at times. “I’ll be in the shower.” He started walking towards the bathroom door.

“Oz.” Joshua caught his arm but let go as soon as Oswald stopped. “Just wait here, and I’ll get you the dry clothes. I wasn’t thinking about how it might make you uncomfortable if I were to come in while—”

“No, of course not. You’re straight, so why would you think twice about seeing a guy naked, right? I mean you’re probably playing football on the local team and shower with thirty guys, seven days a week. I’m being stupid, more silly ideas—”

“Silly ideas?”

Oh s**t. “Ah, yeah, well…Guy always said I got my knickers in a twist for the smallest things and had my head filled with silly ideas such as people taking an interest in me.” Oh God, the embarrassment. Not only had he let Joshua know his imagination often ran away with him, but he’d also confirmed he sometimes acted like the pinhead everyone thought he was.

“Charming.”

And now Joshua was annoyed. s**t. “Sorry.”

“Guy, he sounds really charming.”

Oswald frowned a little, but it was true, he was charming…or he used to be. “Most people think so.” He took a deep breath, and this time, his muscles relaxed a little. He was making everything more complicated than it was—as always. Joshua was just a nice man who picked him up out of the river; he didn’t want to get into Oswald’s pants—silly ideas—so the small touches were probably…concern? Yes, of course, concern.

Joshua still suspected he might have hit his head, probably why he wanted Oswald to leave the bathroom door unlocked so he could rush in if Oswald were to topple over. He smiled at Joshua and started walking towards the bathroom, his eyes burning at the thought that someone cared if he fell and bashed his head.