My Bodyguard Is My Ex Boyfriend

Chapter Four: Restless

Brandy

I was riding my bike over the country roads as I usually did when I was bored, and was intentionally headed to Nate’s house with dinner securely tucked away in my basket. He was home alone, his parents away on business and their hired cook abed with the flu. I thought it would be a special surprise to show up with pork tenderloin, noodles, and homemade sourdough bread, since I knew he hated cooking.

The clouds overhead were looking a little gloomy, but I was confident I’d make it before it started raining. If it was raining when I was ready to leave, Nate would drive me back home.

I had barely pulled under the wooden porch awning when the sky opened up and started pouring. Smiling to myself, I rested my bike against the railing of the porch and retrieved the basket. Since I had known the Jansen’s from birth, and was now dating Nate, I was welcomed anytime at the house and could come and go when I pleased. So, I didn’t bother to knock but went straight in. I probably should have knocked because it would have saved me from seeing the tasteless scene taking place just inside.

Then again, if I had knocked, I might never have known about Nate’s cheating problem.

I stood in the doorway staring into the dark interior of the house. The dim light from outside cast shadows over the furniture and the two half-naked bodies tangled up on the rug feet from the door. The girl had on a very provocative sun dress that was pulled down below her voluptuous breasts and her skirts were hiked up past her hips while Nate's pants were pushed down to his knees as he rocked into her.

For a moment, I thought I had come across one of Nate’s older brothers. All three Jansen boys had similar body structures and could almost pass as triplets. The only way you could tell them apart were their eyes. However, Mark and Cody were both attending college out of state.

Bile rose in my throat as Nate's betrayal struck home. I stumbled back into the door frame, my heart shattering into a million pieces. I loved Nathaniel, I had loved him from the very first day I met him all those years ago, despite all of his horrendous teasing. And as far as I knew, he loved me too.

Guess I had assumed wrong, especially since I found him f*****g another classmate.

“Blackberry?” Nathaniel said in surprise, jerking around to look up at me with those large piercing baby blues. Behind him, the girl pushed herself up onto her elbows and leveled me with a victorious smirk. As if she had done this on purpose.

I barely heard him as blood pounded in my ears and tears pricked my eyes. The basket slipped from my numb hands. Glass shattered and food splattered everywhere across the floor, but I didn’t care. I was trying not to fall over in pain as I stumbled out the door, reaching for the railing. I slammed into it right as his hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.

My gaze moved up to his and in the depths of his gaze I saw the fear and panic starting to take hold. He knew he messed up badly. I stared blankly up at him, rage starting to slowly mix with the shock and pain.

“Brandy,” he pleaded softly, his eyes piercing, silently pleading with me to listen, to forgive him.

"Is she the only one?" I asked numbly, surprised my voice was so steady.

He hesitated. "Look, Brandy, I can explain--

"Let me go,” I growled, slapping his hands away, infuriated with him. Infuriated with myself for ever believing he could love me. I was such a fool!

I knew I would be the laughing stock at school too! More than likely, I already was. I was that bimbo, clueless to the cheating Nate had done. How many other girls had he been with? How many were snickering behind my back? How many hurtful jokes was I the brunt of?

“Brandy, please, don’t—

Crack!

I glared up at him, my hand stinging from the slap. He looked so damn shocked, it was nearly satisfying.

Good!.

I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to even try to beg me not to leave. I obviously didn’t mean that much to him, especially if he was cheating on me. We had been together for about a year and a half. We had been together since the start of my freshman year. I now realized it wasn’t love. I was just a new piece of ass, a convenient f**k because I was always down whenever he wanted it. I couldn't count the amount of times he had snuck into my room in the middle of the night. It hurt to realize I didn’t mean anything more to him than just convenience, and it hurt to finally know the truth.

Grabbing my bike, I sped off down the road, never looking back because I wouldn’t let him see how weak and vulnerable I was. I barely remembered the ride home, other than enjoying the cool rain soaking me, cleansing me of him. At least that’s what I thought it was doing up until I got home and the maid rushed me into father’s office without even giving me the time to change. His office had been dimly lit but I could still see the tears on his cheeks as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. I had never before seen my father cry and knew something horrible had happened.

And I suspected it had something to do with mother, since she should have been home by now. “Where’s momma?” I asked nervously, my anxiety skyrocketing.



He didn’t answer immediately, possibly trying to find the right words to say. I waited anxiously in the silence that stretched on, shifting from foot to foot. I heard his silent sobs, the rain that pelted the house, and the grandfather clock ticking away in the corner of his office. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he looked up and told me in an even but pained voice what had happened. “Brandy, she died in a car crash. The drunk driver who hit her walked away. The paramedics said she died on impact. She didn't suffer."

My legs, which had barely held me up before, now gave way and folded in on each other. Right when I hit the ground, thunder shook the house and the room went dark. It was like God knew how empty and alone I felt at that moment in time. It was like He had planned this day to be the worst day of my life.

I remember crying alone on the cold wood floor as my father sat in his chair lost in his own little world, completely ignorant of the world around him. My first instinct was to call Nate. There wasn’t anyone else I wanted more. But I couldn’t. It was over. I refused to allow him any more opportunities to hurt me. "Does Timmy know?" I whispered brokenly, my arms wrapped tightly around my waist as I rocked back and forth on the floor. Wondering if my brother was crying alone somewhere because our father was being so cold hearted.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I’ll leave that up to you.”

“You should tell him, you’re his father.”

“And you’re his sister,” he snapped back. “Tell him, Brandy. I have other things I need to take care of,” he said dismissively.

“What could be more important than your own children!? Especially right now!?” I challenged, furious and confused as to why he didn’t care.

He just sat there in his chair as still as a corps, staring up at me with blank eyes. I knew then that our father was gone forever. He had died with mother and I wanted to scream my frustration and pain for all to hear, but it wouldn’t change anything. I left his office without another word and made my way to the kitchen where I immediately went for the cabinet that contained what I needed.

I pulled out a full bottle of Jack Daniel’s Whisky and a shot glass. I needed this pain gone, even if it was only for a few hours. I just needed it to end. I’d deal with it later, I’d have to, but for tonight, I just wanted to forget about everything, about Nathaniel and about my mother.

Tim was asleep in bed. My father was rotting away in his office. My mother was dead. And Nate was probably f*****g another cheerleader without sparing me another thought. There was no one except the maids to witness my weakness.

It felt like heaven after I downed the first couple of shots. It warmed me and made every nerve ending feel fuzzy. I downed a few more before I passed out on the kitchen floor.



***

I slowly came out of my dream, not feeling rested at all.

My gaze moved around the room and I saw Nate had pushed his chair up against the wall. His head was leaned back against it, arms crossed, his legs spread out in front of him as he slept. I couldn't help but appreciate the changes in his body. He somehow looked more delectable and gorgeous than how I remembered him, and it was so unfair! Because I was the same, awkward Brandy who had gotten her heart stomped on. While Nathaniel Jansen, the one who used me and broke my heart, had become impossibly more attractive.

"That was a heavy sigh."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "I thought you were asleep!?" I whisper-shouted at him.

He chuckled. " The military turned me into a light sleeper."

"I don't believe that," I scoffed. He had always slept like the dead.

"Believe it, don't," he shrugged. "You sleep well?"

I really didn't want to answer, so I didn't.

"That good, huh?"

I decided it was time to change the subject. "So, what am I in for with you as my body guard?"

"Well, you won't be left alone. At all. Especially since your father labeled you as a flight risk."

"Flight risk?"

"Yes. Like sneaking out. Being difficult and defiant. Ya know." He shrugged as if it was something normal for him.

"Peachy," I muttered under my breath.

"Nothing that I wasn't already prepared for." I glared at him and he laughed. "So, I will be setting up a small cot in the corner of your room--

"No! Absolutely not," I stated. "My room. My rules. I am over eighteen, a legal adult. While I may live under the same roof as my father, I can make certain decisions regarding myself."

Nate pursed his lips for a moment in thought, as if he was debating on if he should argue or not. "I'll make you a deal. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and I'll sleep on the floor in front of your door. The first time you sneak out without me, I will move into your room. Deal?" He held out his hand.

"Fine," I huffed, shaking his hand, knowing it was probably the best deal I was going to get. If I tried taking it further, he might just take back his offer.

"I am also tasked with accompanying you everywhere and being your chauffer. I will drive you wherever you need or want to go. I will be attending all of your classes. Dates. Parties. I will practically become your shadow."

Great! Just what I wanted. Every single freedom of mine was now hijacked.

"You mind if I ask you a question?"

"I doubt I could stop you," I grumbled.

His chuckle did strange things to my heart, and I absolutely hated how my insides still got all warm and tingly. "You got a boyfriend?"