Our Last Hope

Twice in One Night

William had taken Henry out of his carrier and walked into the living room with him. They were looking out the window at the sunset in the distance. Normally, a sight like that would have had me melting with emotion, but I couldn't shake the twisting in my gut. There was nothing stopping William from running out the back door and I would never see my baby boy again.

I bent down and took Lilly out of her car seat, Gregor was standing close behind me in a protective stance. Lilly cooed as I lifted her and propped her up on my chest so she could look around the entire room. I could hear Henry stirring across the room, it was time for their next feeding. For some reason I was afraid to open my mouth. I knew that William wouldn't deprive his son of the nutrition that he needed.

I could tell that William was getting frustrated that he couldn't get his son to quiet down.

"Why won't he stop crying?" I could hear the edge in his voice from across the room.

I took a cautionary step into the living room.

"He's hungry. May I feed him?"

William seemed annoyed at my question, but he knew that I was right, which only irritated him more. He finally conceded and gestured for me to sit on the couch. When I got Lilly settled, William gently laid Henry in my left arm so I could do my thing. Gregor was still standing guard somewhere behind me. I could feel the tension in the room as William realized that his brother still hadn't left us.

"Gregor, do you mind?"

I could feel Gregor shudder as he contemplated leaving me. I looked over my shoulder at him and nodded my head so subtly, it was hard to notice. That upset William.

"Don't look at him, you look at me." I snapped my gaze back to William's feet. I didn't dare look at him in his eyes. I felt my security wavering as Gregor turned to leave out the front door. I wanted to turn around and beg him to stay, but I knew that it would only cause more trouble. I bit my tongue as I felt his presence leave the room.

William seemed to relax a bit now that it was just the four of us. He sighed dramatically as he collapsed on the couch next to me and stared at Henry as he fed.

"He's so perfect." He had yet to mention one nice thing about his daughter. I still couldn't believe how blind I was to his narcissistic tendencies. I should have seen all the times that he had gaslighted me and made me feel like he was in control. I didn't realize how much power he had the last year. I felt so stupid and foolish. I couldn't help but blame myself for all that I had endured.

I remember mama talking to me one night when we were alone on the lanai.

"Don't ever blame yourself darling. There are always going to be people in this world that want to claim something that was never theirs to begin with. You are a fighter and a survivor. You will get through this. You need to keep your s**t together until it's time. Remember who you are and how strong you are. We will always be here for you, no matter what."

I quickly abandoned my feelings of guilt as mama's words rang in my ears. I was so consumed that I didn't hear William talking to me.

"I'm sorry, is there something else that is more important than me?"

I blinked rapidly as my eyes adjusted and I came back into my body.

"No- no, I'm sorry. I'm just very exhausted. It's been a tiring last couple days."

"Well, you better wake up, there are still things that I plan to do to you tonight."

I felt my stomach constrict and I fought the urge to throw up. You motherfucker. I haven't even fully healed yet and he expects me to give myself over to him?

"Is there a problem?"

I could hear the anger rising in his voice, a tone that I always recognize right before he beats the s**t out of me.

"No sir."

An evil smile replaced his tight line on his lips.

"Good. I'm going to go feed. When I come back, I want the babies to be settled and I want you upstairs. Is that understood?"

I felt like my tongue had swallowed up my mouth, there was no way that I could form eloquent sentences so I simply nodded my head. William stood suddenly and kissed my temple. I tried to hide my flinch at the contact. I knew that he felt it but he ignored it. If anything, he was happy that I was afraid of his touch.

He turned on his heel and walked out the back door.

I'll be back in two hours.

I watched as the door closed behind him and I was left alone once more. I exhaled loudly as I felt the evil leave the room. Moments later, Gregor came back in through the front door. He walked right over to me and helped me with the babies. They had both passed out as soon as I put them in the bassinette behind the couch.

Gregor pulled me to his chest, he smelled like pine and fresh forest air. A lone tear spilled out of my eyes as the feeling of safety overwhelmed me. Gregor pulled away from me slightly and kissed my tear away.

"You're safe now Win. He's gone."

I rolled my eyes and felt the ice set into my voice. "Yeah for now. He expects me to f**k him when he gets back. I'm scared to find out what will happen to me if I don't."

I felt Gregor stiffen as he imagined me laying with that monster. I saw inside his mind as he ran through every outcome. He softened momentarily and touched the side of my face and turned my gaze up to his.

"You will do whatever you can to stay alive. Nothing more."

I felt like the world's shittiest person. I knew that this would chip away at him, this wasn't fair to him.

It's not fair to you either.

I forgot that he has access to my mind.

Gregor pulled me to his chest once again and rested his chin on the top of my head. I felt his arms envelope my body and I sighed with relief. He kissed my curls and I started to feel the flames building up inside my belly. I wanted to continue what we started earlier today in the hospital room. He must have had the same idea.

I tilted my head up and he planted a chaste kiss on my lips. I pressed my hands on his chest and opened my mouth just enough for his tongue to slip passed my lips. I felt the fireworks exploding between us. We started moaning and panting as his hands touched every inch of my body. I cupped his face with my hands as I leaned into his body and started to moan a I felt my body melt and the floodgates opened up. Gregor noticed the shift and hooked my legs around his hips and started to carry me up the stairs to my bedroom.

I stripped quickly in-between our kisses. I helped shimmy him out of his jeans and felt out bare skin touch. I bit down on his bottom lip and we collapsed back onto the bed. I straddled his thighs with my hips. This was going to be different. Gregor was going to be gentle, I was going to feel the love between us. William is going to be rough, he won't care if I feel what he feels. I blocked William out of my head and focused all of my energy and passion on Gregor. He was the one I wanted.

I leaned down and pressed my breasts against his warm, smooth skin and slipped my tongue into my mouth. In one fluid motion, he unhooked my bra and tossed it aside. He gently took my breasts in his hands and I upturned my face to the ceiling. A loud moan escaped my lungs and I felt his c**k poking me. He twisted gently on my n*****s and I felt my mind go blank. I refocused and made quick work of the buttons on his shirt and he slipped out of the shoulders, that too was deposited onto the floor next to the bed. I raised myself just slightly so Gregor could pull his boxers lower and he kicked them off.

I was dripping for him, it didn't take much for me to slip onto him. My body made way for him as I felt every inch of his divine member. My body was trembling as the ecstasy took over my body. I heard the slurp and felt the suction as I took him in.

"Fuck." he said through gritted teeth. He bucked his hips into me, making me see stars. I reached my hands back and placed them on the top of my thighs as I began bouncing up and down on his shaft. He cupped the indent between my hips and my thighs. I couldn't stop the noises coming out of my mouth. The sensation was almost too much. I was getting close to my climax already.

My inner walls clenched down as I prepared to let go and enter the darkness. Before I had a chance to release, Gregor flipped me over onto my back and I wrapped my legs around his rippling muscles. Gregor slammed into me making me cry out in pleasure. It wasn't aggressive, he rocked back and forth and his lips met mine. I was taking everything that he was giving me. My toes curled under and I was dripping onto the sheets beneath me. Gregor buried his face in the crook of my neck and traced kisses along my collar bone as I was signing his praises.

I unhooked my ankles and Gregor placed my legs up over his shoulders. He was so deep I could almost taste him. I tilted my head back into the mattress and let all of the air out of my lungs.

"f**k. f**k. f**k. f**k"

My vision got hazy as I felt the tidal wave crash over me and I lost all cognitive thinking. I slipped my legs down off of his shoulders and onto his arms. I threw my arms up and dug my fingernails into his back as I heard his breathing hitch.

"s**t!" He coated my inner walls, giving me a cream pie. I felt the hot liquid start to trickle out as he filled me as much as he could, there wasn't enough room for all of it.

Gregor pulled out and I felt the gush, I was soaked. Gregor brushed the tip of his nose against mine and placed a soft kiss on my lips. As much as I wanted to lay with him forever, I couldn’t. We both knew that he would have to sneak out before William came back.

I sat up and watched with disappointment as Gregor put his clothes back on. Within a couple minutes, Gregor was fully dressed. He place his hands on either side of my body and leaned forward for a kiss. There was something easy and sweet about our relationship. It felt the complete opposite of the one that I held with William.

“I’m sorry that I have to leave you.” He pressed his forehead to mine and I inhaled his scent one last time. He smelled like fresh fire wood and the essence of the forest. He gave me one last kiss and then disappeared down the stairs. I heard the front door shut quietly, making sure that he didn’t wake the babies.

I hopped off the bed and stripped the sheets and made sure that there was nothing out of place. I went to the closet to the right of the stairs and pulled out some new sheets. I set up the bed and fixed the duvet. I grabbed the baby monitor from the dresser and brought it into the bathroom with me.

I turned on the shower and tried to brush through my hair. I took a quick shower and washed myself throughly, I knew that I was going to have to take another one later on.

I didn’t bother getting dressed. I wrapped myself in my cotton robe and headed downstairs for a glass of wine. I couldn’t believe that it had only been an hour and a half. I still had some time to kill. I grabbed a couple bags of breast milk out of the freezer and started to heat it up. I knew what was in store of me later, I wouldn’t be able to get through it sober.

Lilly was the first to stir, I hoped that Henry would stay asleep. Constantly feeding two babies at a time was slowly starting to weigh me down. I carefully lifted Lilly up into my arms and she took to the bottle right away. I was just finishing up with Lilly when Henry started to whimper. I had his bottle ready and waiting for him.

They both fell right back to sleep, I prayed that they stayed that way for a while. I didn’t want to think about the consequences that would befall me if they didn’t. Once I got them settled, I went to the kitchen and uncorked my favorite bottle of wine.

I stared into the flames of the fireplace, occasionally sipping my from my glass of red. I was still in disbelief on how different my life was now. I remember how easy everything felt those first couple days. I thought that I had found my soulmate, only to be tricked and diminished. I should have noticed the signs, I have dated my fair share of assholes in high school, William was no different. I guess I wanted so desperately to keep my mate, it’s every little girl's fantasy. To find a man that makes you feel complete. The man that protects you and makes you feel safe. I tried so hard to hold on to that hope that things would change and that it was all just a phase.

I hadn’t noticed that my mind had started to wander. I could hear the metallic clink of my engagement ring on the outside of my wine glass. I looked down at my finger, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but I knew that it hid secret danger, I wouldn’t dare take it off. My lucky is that their is a homing device inside, he can probably track me with GPS or worse. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t put it past William to have defiled it with dark magic. I didn’t feel like testing that theory anytime soon

I felt my energy change, there was a disturbance in my aura. I knew that William would not be happy with my drinking, but at this point, I didn’t really care. There is nothing else that he can do to me that he hasn’t done already. I set my glass on the coaster in front of me and stood slowly as William approached the back door.

My hair had dried into my perfect, ringlet curls. I hadn’t noticed that my robe had started to come undone from me sitting scrunched up on the couch. I can only imagine what I looked like right now. William’s eyes popped out of his head. He gave me a long, hard look. I was delightfully buzzed, but not too drunk to act a fool.

“Now this is what I was talking about. It isn’t that hard for you to make an effort.”

I can’t believe what he was implying. I tried to hide my eye roll as he walked closer to me. I fought the urge to flinch so I froze when we reached up and brushed the side of my cheek. He circled me slowly until I felt his chest against my spine. He seductively moved my hair off to the side and exposed my neck, he was being more gentle with me than I expected. He placed his lips on my neck and shivers sprinted down my back. He traced his finger along the deep ‘V’ of my robe and slipped his hand onto my breast. I gasped at how quickly he moved. He drew little circle around my n*****s and they began to stand at attention. I tried hard to block out what was happening, but my body was betraying me.

I closed my eyes as the tears started to prick the back of my eyes. William pulled lightly on the sash around my waist and my robe feel apart exposing the rest of my body.

Treat it like a job. Treat it like a job.

I had to do what was expected of me, nothing more. I had to think about it scientifically, without emotion, without fear or doubt. Just do it.

William placed his hands on the front of my stomach, just above my belly button. I turned around in his arms and his lips were on mine. I would have used my thoughts of Gregor to get myself through this, but I knew my guilt would take over. I let my mind go blank and the autopilot function took over.

My body prepared itself, despite my better judgement. William reached down to the apex of my thighs and felt my moisture.

“Oh, you are ready for me aren’t you?”

I bit my tongue and let out a small quiet moan as he spread my labias with his fingers and flicked my c******s.

“You’re so wet Winnie. Do you want me?”

I tried to sound as sexy as possible but all I could must was an ‘mmhm’ sound. William pulled his fingers out of me and licked them clean. I remembered the first night that we spent together, I thought that I had found my person, now I have no choice but to go along with it.

William grabbed my hand and led me towards the stairs. I tried to keep myself from throwing up as I felt my stomach twist up into knots. When we reached the top he led me over to the edge of the bed.

“Get on your hands and knees.”

I nodded my head, at least I wouldn’t have to look at him. I nodded my head and climbed up on the bed. I heard his belt and zipper and the sudden rush of air as he threw everything into a pile. I could feel his eyes burning a hole into my back.

“Spread your legs wider.”

I shimmied my hips and dipped my back and popped up my ass. Let’s get this over with.

I heard a couple floorboards creek under his feet as he stepped closer to the bed. His finger traced up the inside of my thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. My body betrayed me once again. I could feel the drip even more with my legs spread apart.

“This is mine. No one else's.” William started to pet my inner folds making me shudder from his touch. He rubbed the head of his c**k into my wet center and slowly slipped into my pink box. I forgot how long he was, this time it felt different. It was almost painful, he was too big. I bared my weight on my elbows as I felt the friction start to build. I felt him hit the tip of my cervix and my vision went fuzzy. I closed my eyes and buried my head on my forearm.

I tried to mask my painful moans as I felt William pummel into me. I prayed for him to finish so I wouldn’t have to endure this any longer. I bit down so hard on my bottom lip that I could taste blood. William slapped me hard on my right ass cheek, making me dizzy. William groaned and dug his nails into my hips as he came inside of me. I didn't feel the same, I was rubbed raw and felt a slight burning from the chaffing.

He took a step back and started wiping himself down. When I started to walk my way back down the bed and stand up, I felt his hand firmly planted on the side of my neck.

“Oh no you don’t. Lay on your back.”

He shoved me back down on the bed and told me to flip to my back. William started to walk to the bathroom. As he passed me, he made direct eye contact.

“You will not move until I come back.” He turned towards the door and called over his shoulder. “You’ve got to give my boys a chance.”

That’s when it hit me. This wasn’t just taking what he thought was rightfully his, it was about impregnating me and he wouldn’t stop until it happened.

I laid there for almost ten minutes when William came back.

“Alright, go wash up. I want you back out here in ten minutes. We have babies to feed.”

I was thankful for the shower, it was twice in one night.