Married At 19

Chapter 4

《Isabella Dawson》

Nathan cried in my arms that night. Luckily I was there when he was about to fall or else he might be broken his foot that time. He surely in sadness and I just couldn’t do nothing about it. I’m a useless friend for him who can’t afford to comfort him properly when he needed it.

Sasha tried to comfort him already, but it won't do either, our other friends too, but still he just locked himself in his dorm for about several days now. Seth couldn’t even do nothing about it as his roommate. He told us that Nathan will start shouting if he tried to comfort or even speak to him.

I'm truly worried about him. I as his friend really don't want him to fall sick if he keeps acting like that. Seth said he didn't eat much, he only lying in his bed, crying.

"Are you planning to see him, Bella?" I was surprised a bit when Sasha suddenly patting my shoulder as I was thinking about Nathan’s condition.

"Hey, girl...." She smirked. "Why are you surprised all of sudden? What are you thinking right now?"

"U-um...no....nothing." as usual Bella Dawson will started to stutter. "I'm not thinking about anything."

She knits her eyebrow. "Really Bella?"

"Y-yes....Sasha. Why would I lied to you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you're hiding something from me?"

Oh for your information, none of our friends knew that Nathan was with me that night. I didn’t tell anyone so everyone will not think nonsense about us. "What do you mean, Sasha?" I scoot away from my bed and went to my study desk to organize my anatomy books. "I'm not hiding anything from you, trust me."

"Oh yeah...." She still didn't trust me right?

Oh god....what should I supposed to say to her?

I just can't tell her:

Oh yes Sasha, I'm actually hiding something from you. It's about Nathan, I have been crushing for him since we were kids, how about that?

No....that should be a secret for me to keep. Or she will tell him about my feeling to him. I just can't handle myself if he rejects me.

"Hey....where are you now?" She flicked her finger in front of my face to wake me up from daydreamed, again.

"Oh....sorry." I gave her a quick smile. "Still here, in this room. Sorry about that."

"So, are you going or not?" She knits her eyebrow, waiting for my answer which I really don't understand what she means by that.

"Go to where?" I'm currently have no idea right now.

She sighed heavily. "Oh my god....really Bella?"

"What?" I’m so in confused with her question.

"Ugh....just forget it." She totally pissed off with me right? "I'll be going out with Seth now, see you later!!"

She swiftly went out from the front door without waiting for me for a reply.

She did frustrated with me…ughh…sorry Sasha.

                                                                                    *    

I went to the cafeteria alone to get some food, well....my girl friends are all on dates right now, so here I am all alone, still single without having any boyfriends ever. Even my crush doesn't like me or even now that I like him.

He doesn’t even notice me at all and only focus on Sasha even though he knew that Sasha with Seth. Sometimes I felt so fed up with him, but there was nothing I can do about it. So, I just went to somewhere and think about him who will never be mine ever.

I sighed heavily. "Lucky for them to have boyfriends." I murmured to myself when saw several couples, eating at the cafeteria.

My eyes caught at one guy who is sitting by the corner table at the cafe. He's wearing black t-shirt with blue short pants. His blond hair is messy and he just staring at his food, without even touch them at all.

I feel sorry for him when saw his perfect handsome face full with sadness.

Poor Nathan, he lost his parents all at once.

He must really in pain right now.

Should I go comfort him?

But I'm so......shy to do that.

What if I faint again?

He must be thinking weirdly about me.

Ughh.....but he's so much in pain.

Oh come on Bella, stop being like this will you. Until when you want to be like this and hide yourself like this. You already changed your style, you cut your long precious hair and so let help Nathan to get rid of his sadness. Maybe he will start to acknowledge you and think you are there as his friend of course.

So, I made my mind and brave myself to approach him. Nathan is still staring at his food, totally not notice with my presence.

"U-umm......Nathan." I called him, although I was stuttering at first.

He slowly looks up at me, with his eyes look so puffy because of crying so much. His blue eyes are full with sorrow which totally different than before which look livelier.

He didn't speak at all but only gave me a weak smile. He then moved his gaze back to the untouched food in front of him.

"Na-Nathan, are you okay?" I brave myself more to ask about his condition.

He just nodded as an answer.

I think he needs time to be alone and I made a big mistake to approach him at the first place, "Oh...okay. I think I should go now. Just let me know if you want anything.”

I decided to leave him alone, since he looks like he doesn't want to be disturb. But suddenly, he grabbed my wrist when I was about to walk away from the table.

"Please......stay." He said, weakly.

I turned to look at him again, and he was looking at me with his ocean blue eyes were full with tears.

"I....just need....someone to talk with." His voice is even cracked. Actually, I really don't like to hear his voice like that. It makes me feel....hurt.

"B-but...."

He cuts me off, "Please.....Bella."

We went to the garden on the rooftop of our dorm which the place where we usually hang out together after 10 pm and above. He said that he needs some fresh air, so maybe this is the right place for him to relax his mind.

We sat on the bench beside with each other. Although I feel it really awkward, but I still love being with him. He totally seemed messed up with and I do really want to help him so much, bring him the happiness back, because I want the old him that is full with mischief and always happy all the time.

It hurts so much to see him that way, so I decided to start talking after our long silence moment. "I-I'm really sorry for your loss, Nathan. I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know that I care. You're my friend, Nathan, I really don't want to see you like this. I know Aunt Karen and Uncle Michael feel that way to. They must be really unhappy when see you like this. Don't you feel sorry for them too? Or do you want them to be sad to see you being like this from up there?"

Nathan's blue ocean eyes only look down to the ground and he is still remains silent for a while.

"You know Nathan, I lost my mom when I was 5 years old, when she gave birth to my sister, Ivy. I'm totally broke down at that time, I missed her so much especially the when she lullabied me every night before I went to sleep. It hurts me so much that time until my father came and comfort me. Then realized something, my sister never had once feel my mom's love so I decided to take care of her with all the things that my mom used to teach me. I become her mom and also a loving big sister of her.

You're not alone, Nathan. You have so much friends that care so much for you, Mr Stewart and me too...care so much about you as my childhood friend. Please, don't ever think that way, we're always here with you."

Both of us were silent for a moment after I said those words to him. It feels a bit awkward moment, but I have tried my best to comfort him as a friend.

I took out my phone to check out the incoming message when my phone buzzed inside of my pocket.

It was from, Nick, my cousin who is like a brother to me.

Nick: Where are you?

Me: At the park.

Nick: With who?

Me: Nathan.

Nick: Okay then.....I heard about him too. Send my regard to him, okay?

Me: Okay, I will.

Nick: I'm going to the mall with Ten Ten, do you want me to get something for you?

Me: No thanks...I'm okay btw.

Nick: Alright, just send text me if you want something.

Me: I will, thanks Brother Nick.

Nick: You're welcome.

I put back my phone into my pocket and think I probably get going now, because I'm starving so much....well, I didn't get a chance to buy any foods since I follow Nathan here.

"U-um....Nathan, I think I need to leave you now. I'm sorry if I offense you a bit with the words I said to you. I really didn't mean it actually." Without hesitating, I stood up from our bench. I bet he still needs time alone when he didn't look at me at once after all I said to him.

But he stopped me by grabbing me on the wrist when I was about to walk away from him. "Thanks Bella," I turned to look at him and he was looking at me with his teary eyes. But this time, the tears finally fall down right on his cheeks. "For being here with me, and the words you have said to me."

Automatically my hands moved without my permission to wipe his tears off. I feel so stupid at that time and glad too since I managed to comfort my friend. To be more surprised, he then stood right in front of me and gently pulled me into his hug where his chin rested on my left shoulder.

"You words mean a lot to me." He continued. "It means a lot to me."

I really don't know how to describe what I feel right now, at this moment, but I'm totally surprised with his sudden action.

His warmth comforts me so much, and I wish that I can stop this time, so I could stay in his hug a little longer. He really do taller than me and I was about his shoulder level only, so that’s why he can rest his chin on my shoulder. But I don’t mind though, because it felt comfy.

I wish that I could confess my feeling to you right now, Nathan.

But I think it might not be a suitable time for this. And besides, you love somebody else and of course not me. It just one side love that I have to accept it although it is really hard for me.

Sasha is very lucky to have two person to love her at the same time. Sometimes I felt so envy to her but I shouldn’t because she deserved it since she is way more beautiful than me. I’m just a girl who doesn’t know about styles and of course a bookworm. No guys will like me of course.