REJECTED AND LOVED BY A RED WOLF

CONFUSED

CHAPTER 9

It had been hours since Brandon and Ava parted but sleeping was far from happening. She remained tossing and turning in her bed. It was hard to admit but, she had been affected by Brandon when he took his role-playing way too far than she expected. Acting like a devoted fiance throughout the night, he charmed everyone.

Perhaps that was what he do best, Ava thought. He was good at pretense.

Unfortunately like a schoolgirl who just experienced her first kiss, she couldn’t understand why she was affected that way.

Brandon’s kiss was not her first. Kevin, her deceased boyfriend had kissed her many times before, some of them even full of passion. Brandon’s kiss was way too gentle, like a tender brushing of lips to other lips at first but with a lingering end. In short from a peck kiss to a sweet American kiss. but—. But—Brandon’s kiss seemed to enter deep into her soul. Even if it wasn’t passionate, it was arousing strong emotion.

“Why? Why was his kiss different?” Ava asked herself, unconsciously louder than usual. The question was supposed to stay in her head, but she blurted it out unexpectedly.

“Because honey, he is your mate!” Hera responded all of a sudden, and without her permission.

Ava let it pass, she has too much in her mind to be angry with Hera. She asked instead, “And so—“ What if Brandon was her mate? What did it have to do with his kiss?

“Anything he does will always be different. It is why the mate is special. Some wolves wait for a lifetime to meet their mates…while you? You let go of the opportunity. Tsk! It’s good that you have a second chance.”

Ava shook her head and murmured, “It’s not a second chance. You know he hated me and my guts.”

‘Not sure about that but–you know it’s your fault.” Hera voiced.

“Don’t rub salt to the wound. I know what I did but I couldn’t bring back that moment. I asked everyone before what I should do…but they told me to follow my heart. So I chose Kevin…”

“Granted—but, Kevin might not really be the one in your heart. You were intrigued and engrossed with the idea of simple life… You wanted to escape who you are. And most of all… you also didn’t listen to me…why Ava?”

Ava frowned. She wasn’t in the mood for guilt-tripping but she knew Hera had a point. She didn’t listen to her before.

“I’m sorry. I know from the start, you’ve been cheering for Brandon.”

“It's not that I like Brandon better than Kevin. I simply believe in the Goddess!”

Something that Ava failed to do, was to believe in the goddess’s gift to her…a mate. Now–her life was a mess.

“Also–You didn’t need to hide who you are as far as Brandon is concerned. While with Kevin, you didn’t know if he could accept you, as you are…a werewolf. But–that’s in the past why are you still so bothered?”

“I want to salvage what remained out of the mate bond,” Ava hoped it wasn’t too late. Maybe after the wedding, she could start working on Brandon’s heart.

After her conversation with Hera, Ava took a trip down memory lane, thinking about the conversation she and her mom had five years ago.

AVA POV

“Mom—“ I called her, stretching my arms so she would come to me. I wanted to hug her and have a short exchange of words.

“Ava, darling.” She hugged and kissed me as soon as she reached my side, then she looked at my face and asked, “What’s bothering you?”

Unlike my dad, who could read minds, my mom couldn’t– but she could block anyone from reading her thoughts. Luckily I could do both, the same as my siblings.

“Mom—. Why do I need to feel same attraction to two different men?” I didn’t whine. I just told her about what was in my mind, in a soft tone.

“Darling—, there are so many things in this world that do not have an explanation,” she paused, “—like for example the existence of —us. We are a great example of not normal, the unexplained. Half-human and half-beast, the representation of good and evil on one body. But the thing is— we exist in this world. As to why? No one could answer that.” She explained. It didn’t make sense to me…it was like a hyperbole.

I furrowed my eyebrows and frowned, “I’m so confused right now, mom.”

“You don’t need to force yourself to make a decision tonight. Maybe you need more time.”

“I don’t want to keep them waiting. Do you think both of them will respect my decision?” I asked, still confused.

She breathed deeply and touched my long natural ombre in the shade of brown with red locks.

“Both of them are man enough to accept whatever will make you happy.”

“I feel so bad, letting go of either one of them.”

“Ohm —’ Mom cleared her throat. “You have to choose just one. Although, there are werewolves with two or even three mates,— your father will not be able to rest peacefully at night if you follow that route. Me too.”

I bobbed my head repeatedly.

“I never said, I will choose both–” I pouted my lips, “--it’s just that until this point I don’t know who to choose. Both of them are good men. Oh–it’s so—hard,” I breathed out.

“Pray my darling,” She kissed me on the forehead “Any way you still have two hours before they arrive. Ask your heart several times, your heart will know, who to choose.” She gazed at me with so much affection in her eyes.

We kissed and then she turned in the direction of my dad. Up to now, they were so in love with each other. I wanted that same love for myself.

Well, half of my heart was with Brandon, and the other half was with Kevin. I found myself seriously attracted to two gorgeous men with different personalities. Brandon was a serious person, quiet most of the time but patient and kind, being the Alpha of his pack, his serious personality was expected because he had responsibilities bigger than himself. Kevin on the other hand, had a more easygoing personality, always charming, happy with people around him, and always enjoying his life and his devil-may-care career.

Perhaps it was Kevin’s take on life than made me choose him at the end of that night. My decision broke Brandon's heart and I made Kevin very happy. As for me– I became more confused.

I was supposed to celebrate knowing that I have finally chosen a mate or a boyfriend or a partner in my life. but instead of feeling ecstatic why did I feel so burdened? Even though Brandon left that night really sad, he didn’t cause a scene…yet, I felt so guilty.

I never believed the stories about mate bonds, I thought it was a myth. I also feared the intensity of the physical attraction with Brandon and thought it wasn’t permanent. And I long to have a peaceful life in the future and I thought Kevin was the only one who could give it to me.

In choosing Kevin…did I make a mistake?

****

That was how burdened Ava was at the night she was supposed to be really happy. And it didn't take long…for the relationship she had wished for with Kevin to come apart at the seams.