Ana's therapist

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

“Are you okay?” Dr. Wilson asked as I stepped inside the therapy room. I nodded my head and gave him a thumbs up before sitting down back on my position.

My lips were lined together, and I was just looking forward blanky. What was I doing here? Apart from wasting my father’s money.

“Are you sure? I’m sorry if I triggered you,” the sweet doctor said. My cheeks turned almost red when he apologized, I shook my head and smiled.

“No, nothing,” I replied.

“What happened?” He asked, changing his tone from sympathetic to serious.

“Nothing, I just remembered something bad.” I replied. I wanted to change the topic before he could go in detail about what I was remembering. “Can I ask you something?” I further questioned and he nodded his head, motioning me go ahead and ask.

“How do I get rid of bad thoughts? Like I get bad thoughts and then I began to harm my self. I can’t really control what I think,” I asked or more like explained myself.

Dr. Wilson sighed before he replied, “It’s natural to have negative thoughts and it’s completely normal if you do. But thoughts should be kept to your head only. Don’t let it control your body or your actions. If you do get certain thoughts that trigger you to self—harm, consider doing something else like writing it down, drawing it or going out somewhere. Eventually you’ll conquerer those negative thoughts,”

I nodded my head and looked down to my nails.

“What have you been thinking these days? And have you taken your medications on time? Did they show an effect?” Dr. Wilson asked. I don’t know what I loved about his voice, was it the dominating tone or was it the rough, raspy voice that lingered in my ears afterwards.

“Yes, I have, it’s good. I slept on time for two days,” I replied.

“And have you tried to self—harm?” The doctor asked and I gulped down the lump that was build up in my throat.

I licked my lips and darted my eyes across the room. Dr. Wilson leaned closer with worry across his face.

“Did you?” He asked again. I didn’t want to reply to him because if I did, he’d tell it to my parents and then they’ll stop letting me breathe. “I won’t tell your parents,” he added after a moment.

“Yes, I did,” I trailed off.

Dr. Wilson seemed disappointed from my reply.

“It was once and I did it out of anger,” I slapped my hand over my head and leaned downwards to my knee in shame.

“What angered you?” He asked.

“I don’t know, my parents, the restricted me from something and I just hated that.” I replied.

“They are your parents, Ana. If they are restricting you something than it must be for a reason. Parents can not harm their child, they want you to be normal and a good girl.” Dr. Wilson explained and I think I just found a few brain cells.

“I know but I don’t like them,” I rolled my eyes and said.

“Why don’t you like them?” He asked.

I jumped up and placed my legs on the couch I was sitting inside. I turned around to my left and sat in front of him, on the couch itself.

“Promise me you won’t tell them?” I asked as I placed my hand out.

“I won’t, Ana, we have already discussed this.” Dr. Wilson replied. His every sentence and reply contained professionalism and I wanted to change that. Whatever I asked, he directly responded to it and now he didn’t even place his hand on mine, he just bluntly gave a cold reply and I didn’t like that.

Especially when he seemed very intimidating to me.

“I don’t like my parents because ‘a’ they don’t like me ‘b’ they never cared about me and they put me into all this mess and ‘c’ they try to ruin my life in all ways and I just don’t like it!” I explained.

“Why do you think they ruined your life?” He asked.

I shrugged and looked outside the window, “I just don’t like my mother like she acts really nice and all but in real, she’s different and really horrible.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” I pouted and replied.

Our conversations went on for a half hour more and then I was allowed to go. I felt better as soon as I stepped out of the room. It felt like someone was actually there to listen to all my bullshit and take care of my high ass. The feeling was vivd and I wanted to feel it again and again.

I exited his house and sat inside my car and asked the driver to take me to the mall. Without questioning anything the driver took me to the call and I told him to go run some errands and pick me up an hour later. He agreed and soon he was out of my sight.

It was 12: PM and I decided to ring Chase and ask him about his whereabouts but someone suddenly grabbed my waist. I was about to scream out of fear but when I looked back, it was no other than Chase himself.

“You scared the f**k out of me!” I exclaimed loudly as I slapped his shoulder and pushed him away from me.

“Let’s go sit somewhere,” Chase suggested and we walked inside a restaurant that was inside the mall. We ordered a cake and than sat down.

“So where have you been today? No school? No Chase?” He asked in a sarcastic tone.

“I was with my therapist,” I winked.

“What do you do with that therapist?” Chase questioned.

“I don’t know, I’m planning to f**k him. What do you think?” I asked and Chase laughed loudly.

“Don’t make the therapist go co-co!” Chase exclaimed.

“But he’s really hot. I really like him,” I trailed off in a serious tone.

“He’s 30+, Ana! Are you out of your mind?” Chase asked and I shook my head. I felt my cheeks flush when I thought about the man. I didn’t know why I had feelings like this.

“I don’t know, he’s really nice and whenever I see him, I just want to dirty things. I really like him regardless of his age,” I shrugged and explained.

“Ew!” Chase said.

“Come one, he’s really hot,” I said.

“He’s old,”

I shrugged again, “I don’t care,”

“Did you do something with him?” Chase asked and I immediately shook my head.

“I want to, but I can’t. He’s really straightforward and anything out of topic, boom, out. And it’s really awkward. I’m really going to try something the next time,” I winked and replied.

“Gross,” Chase repeated.

I groaned and pushed him back, “Anyways, I stole some money from my parents. I’m sure my father is going to find about it but who cares? Take this and get more drugs,” I said as I have him a whole bunch of notes.

His face sparked with happiness and he hugged me tightly. “Thank you so much! I was in trouble and now this is going to save my life. I’ll get you everything you want, baby.” He exclaimed out of excitement. He nibbled on my shoulders for the rest of the time until the food didn’t come.

We enjoyed the cakes and then walked out. We both went around the mall and purchased a few things. I hadn’t been out in so long and it made me feel better. I didn’t shop much but I got a few clothes for myself as my previous wardrobe was mostly covered in my own blood.

“Let’s go down and smoke a bit,” Chase said and I nodded my head.

We took the elevator down to the parking lot where smoking was allowed. The parking lot of this mall was huge and many people were walking here and there.

We went to the smoking area and Chase pulled out a few cigarettes. It wasn’t any drug or any plant, they were plain tobacco filled cigarettes with a minty flavor.

I bought the cigarette up to my lips and lit it up. As the smoke went inside my lungs, I couldn’t help but smile. It had been so long since I smoked a cigarette like this. All my tension and worries were released as I puffed out the smoke.

“So tell me will you come to school tomorrow?” Chase asked as he smoked his one cigarette.

“Of course, I’m going to come everyday but we can’t do much there because of the teachers. I don’t understand why my parents got so strict suddenly? I was just doing drugs. It wasn’t like I was being a w***e or having s*x!” I exclaimed as I gritted my teeth together in anger.

“You tried to suicide too,” Chase stated with his both eyebrows raised up.

“I didn’t. I didn’t want to kill myself. I just cut myself so I could feel better. I swear if I knew that this all was going to happen, I wouldn’t even have showed up.” I rolled my eyes and said.

“But you did and you f****d it up for me too. My father got extremely pissed when he learned that the girl who was sent to hospital from that place was my friend, was the woman I bought.” Chase explained.

“You were the one begging. You should’ve taken someone else,” I said while ticking of the excessive burned cigarette in front of him.

I turned around and my eyes lingered around the parking lot. There were many cars parked here and a few people smoking too. Most of them were staring at me because I was a girl.

I was about to turn my attention back to Chase when I captured something unusual. I gasped and moved back as I saw Dr. Wilson stepping out from his car and looking into my direction.

“f**k!” I groaned and turned back around so I couldn’t see him and he couldn’t see me smoking with someone I shouldn’t. I threw the cigarette down and Chase looked at me with confusion.

“What happened?” He asked after a moment. I turned around and Dr. Wilson had walked inside the mall with his driver or bodyguard.

“What happened, Ana?” Chase repeated.

“I saw my therapist! We are going to get f****d. Let’s go from here,” I said as I grabbed Chase’s arm and pulled him out of the parking lot.

I didn’t want Dr. Wilson to see me again so I went out of the mall.

“You have to go and I’ll go home, bye, see you tomorrow!” I quickly said before pushing him away and calling the driver. I needed to leave this place as soon as I can.

If Dr. Wilson told my father than my father would kill me. And he’d kill Chase too. I silently went home and waited to see what was the outcome of all this.

Would I be killed or not?