Ana's therapist

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

My heart was aching with anger and frustration, I wanted to break down everything around me into small pieces. I couldn’t find anything, nothing at all. All my blades, knifes and scissors were taken away. The drugs I had kept underneath my bed vanished away too and I was left with nothing. My blood was boiling, no one in this entire world ever had the courage to take my things away from me.

Droplets of sweat collected around my forehead and back, I rushed out of my room and ran downstairs.

“Mom!” I screamed with anger lacing in my tone. I searched for her around the house but I wasn’t able to find her. I was going to step inside the kitchen but a servant came in front of me and stopped.

“I’m sorry but you aren’t allowed to go inside,” the trailed off, standing frozen in front of me. My mouth dropped open in confusion. Who was going to stop me from entering my own kitchen?

“Excuse me? What do you mean by you aren’t allowed to go inside? This is my house,” I stated in a strict tone. Just because I’m younger and I don’t have any control over these servants doesn’t means they are able to do anything they want.

“We have orders from Mr. Barnes, we can’t let you go, sorry.” She apologized.

“Where is my mother?” I asked the woman who was no older than 30. She was pretty young and most of the servants my father hired were young and good looking.

“Your mother is running some errands with the driver, and your father is in his office.” She replied.

I rolled my eyes and walked away from her. I hated arguing with these people because it bought me down to their standard. However, I needed to talk to my father as soon as I can. I went upstairs to where my father's office was. We had a pretty massive house and a library, beside the library, my father constructed a small office for himself.

I went inside the library and then to his office. I knocked on the door and waited for him to invite me inside.

“Yes, come in,” He said after a moment. I opened the wooden door and walked inside the room.

My father was sitting by his desk and reading a novel. When I stepped inside, he noticed me and placed the novel aside.

“Yes, what happened, Ana?” He asked in a sweet, worrying tone. Like he actually cared. I wanted to scoff on that accent but I ignored it.

“Why can’t I go inside the kitchen?” I licked my lips and asked.

“There are dangerous things in there so that’s why you aren’t allowed inside the kitchen, however, the whole house is open for you,” My father replied with a sick look on his face. With every word that spilled out of his mouth, I angered.

“I want to go out,” I sighed and declared. I wasn’t asking him for his permission, I was informing him.

“You can’t,” he shrugged. “I can’t let you go out, you have done enough damage to your body and mind. You need help and security, that’s all.” He added.

I bit my lips and closed my eyes. “I need to go out!” I exclaimed. “I have things to do and you can lock me up in this house, that’s not the right thing. I have an addiction and I need my things, I’ll die without it all.” By the end, I was sobbing out and scratching myself. I hated this feeling.

I hated being so weak in front of drugs. They made me loose all my senses and now I was going to crazy without them.

My father stood up from his seat and he walked by my side. He wrapped his hands around my shoulder and held me gently. I cried on his chest and he allowed me to do it for the first time.

“Shush, nothing will happen to you.” My father comforted me with his words but they weren’t enough.

“Please, I want my drugs,” I cried. “I’ll die without them, I tried to stay away from them but every one I found myself using them again and again. I know, I cannot leave that addiction.” I added.

It wasn’t like I never tried leaving drugs and self-harm. Whenever I did, a demonic feeling pulled me back and it just became more and more difficult.

My father hugged me and patted my back. He broke off the hug and cupped my face. His touch made me feel better.

“Don’t worry, I have spoken to someone who can help you with your addictions.” My father said.

I raised my eyebrow and asked, “Who? What?”

“A psychologist, he has been working in the psychology and medical field since the past five years. He’s one of the top psychologists in the world and he has treated over 100 patients,” My father explained and I immediately took a step backward.

Did he really think I was crazy?

“I’m not crazy, father!” I stated and he came forward.

“No, I don’t mean it that way. People who go to psychologists aren’t crazy, Ana.” My father explained as he got a hold of my shoulders. I shook my head and looked down in sadness.

“I don’t want to go to any psychologists, I’m fine,” I said.

“You aren’t fine, you need help and trust me, you’ll be perfectly fine once this therapy is over. Don’t you want to get better? Don’t you want to get rid of these horrid addictions you have?” He asked as he leaned down to me.

I nodded my head and he wiped my tears away. “But in one condition I’ll go to this psychologist...” I trailed off.

“Yes?” He asked with a stern look on his face.

“You’ll allow me to go to school and wherever I want,” I said.

My father thought about it for a second and then he replied, “School is fine but apart from that wherever you go, you’ll be sent with a guard. And no drugs!”

I nodded my head. The school was enough for me to get drugs.

“You can continue going to school from next Monday but tomorrow you’ll have to go with me to the psychologist,” My father said.

I nodded my head again, agreeing to whatever he said. I could control myself for a few days. Right?

I turned around to leave the room but then I remembered something else that I needed to ask my father.

“I also want my phone back,” I declared. My father walked back to his desk and pulled out my phone.

“Here but don’t misuse it. Your mother is already mad and hurt, don’t make it worse, Ana.” My father said as he gave it to me.

I took it and left the room. Like I really cared about my family. I rolled my eyes and walked upstairs. I hated my parents and even though they were nice and all, the reason why I was like was because of them. No matter how nice they become, I’ll never like them, especially mommy.

It's all her fault.

I slammed the door close behind me and called Chase. The only person I was the maddest at right now.

On the second ring, he picked up the call and said, “Hello,”

“Why the f**k did you tell my parents about everything? I thought we were friends? You f****d up my entire life and you don’t even realize that, do you?” I screamed the exact moment he finished talking.

“Ana, calm down,” he said as I breathed out loudly. I slammed my hand on the wooden dressing table hardly and looked at myself in the mirror.

I had bags under my eyes and I just looked like an ugly, addicted mess.

“Calm down? You ruined my life, Chase.” I cried as I fell down on the floor.

“I had to tell your parents everything, I’m sorry. I was really scared, I thought something happened to you and I just couldn’t think properly. Why did you try to kill your self?” He asked.

I closed my eyes and cried for a moment, “I didn’t, I didn’t want to die. I just cut myself so I could feel better. I didn’t know that I would pass out,”

“But you did and everyone thought you suicided and you know, if the police showed up then I’d be behind bars and so would you be.” He explained.

The substances that we both were taking were illegal and frowned upon in this country.

I licked my lips and collected my self at the corner of the room. “What do I do now?” I asked. Chase could give me some advice at least.

“I don’t know, what did your parents say?” He asked.

“They want me to go see a psychologist and go for therapy sessions but I’m in no mood for it,” I sighed.

“You should go for it, it’s good. You may get out of all this!” He exclaimed cheerfully.

“Shut up,”

“Okay, but your parents strictly told me to stay away from you at school so I can’t meet you. They have eyes all around and if they find me providing you with drugs, they’ll kill me.” Chase said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. I’ll come on Monday so get something strong. My heads f****d up,” I groaned while rubbing my forehead and continuing.

“Okay, get me cash,” he said.

“I’ll try,”