You think this is funny!?!
2017 Words
Keno
It was the pillows at first.
Then the rolled sheets.
Then the random remote controls on the bed side table.
“Keno, stop!”
The guy warned me with his cake stained face.
Oh right, I almost forgot, I also pushed the cake on his face earlier.
“Happy Birthday, Keno!”
I never rubbed my eyes as hard as I did the moment it all dawned on me who the guy, holding a birthday cake urging me to make a wish and blow the candle in front of me was earlier.
I heaved a sigh before I laid face down on the bed and closed my eyes.
“It’s just a dream! No! A nightmare! You’re just in one of your nightmares. This isn’t real. You got all soaked up in the rain and passed out and now your in a hospital trying to get revived you’re in a coma yes. This isn’t real!”
I was chanting as I kept pushing my head on the pillow with my eyes closed and when I was finally feeling it hard to breath, I looked away to the side still with my eyes closed to gasp for air only to feel the warmth and the light of the candle on my face so I was forced to open my eyes and there, I saw that face again.
I sat up and he followed suit.
No.
This isn’t real!
I kept telling myself.
“I’m real. Alright? And only if you could just make a wish and blow the candle then we could talk properly, that would really be nice, Keno!”
He said as he made sure to level the cake on my face and kneeled on the floor.
“And oh, say your wish out loud so I know what to get you, yes?”
The guy was nodding at me to acquiesce but I just stared at him.
This is nuts!
This isn’t happening!
But I think it is.
“Alright! Alright! Let me make the wish and blow the candle for you.”
He said as he closed his eyes and raised the cake up at me.
“I wish, that, Keno, would snap out of it and realize that all of these were true. Amen!”
He opened his eyes and smiled and even winked at me before he blow the candle.
“Did it work!?!”
He asked and regarded me with his stupid and smiling face and the more I stared at it, the more annoyed and angry I become that ended up losing my shvt and before I knew it, I had pushed the the cake straight on his face.
This is indeed real!
I heard him groaned and fell on his butt on the floor with the cake crumbling down his face as I jumped off the bed and walked to a corner as far away from him s possible.
“Kenoooo!”
He yelled as he raised the broken candle at me the same time the room brightened.
“This could have pierced through my eyes Keno!”
He was now glaring at me in utter disbelief.
“But it didn’t. It got crushed by your face instead. It just goes to show how thick of a face you have you jerk!”
I yelled back as I saw the discarded cake box littered nearby and picked it up to throw at the guy.
“Keno. Wai—.”
Then I saw the pillows and felt the urge to throw it at him too.
And other stuff after.
“That will hurt Keno! Stop! I’m serious!”
His loud voice brought me back to the present as I held the lamp I saw by the bed.
“Keno! Let’s talk about this like real adults, alright?”
He nodded at me but I just narrowed my eyes and threw the lamp anyway.
I didn’t care if it was expensive or that I would get sued for doing it.
All I care about was that I wanted it to land on the guy’s face but it didn’t, instead, he was able to push it away and it fell off the floor and broke making a very loud crashing noise.
“Kenneth Angelo, I swear, if you don’t stop now, you’re really going to regret it!”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
How dare he call me with my full name as if we’re that close.
We’re not even friends!
“Huh, bring it on! I’ve been living a life full of regrets the moment I met you so it really wouldn’t matter much, you dipshvt!”
I saw him raised his hands for protection as he halted at me.
“Hey, language!”
I scoffed and glared back.
“Language your face you asshole!”
I yelled as I randomly pick up stuff to throw at him some more.
“You jerk!”
It was a book.
I didn’t know what about but I made sure it was not a bible.
“Keno—hey! Stop! Ken—!”
I was about to grab the other lamp on the other side of the bed when the door opened and the people who first met me earlier were all breathless gawking at me and the shvtty guy alternately.
All of them were already in there sleeping clothes.
“Young master!?!”
I blinked at what I heard them said in unison.
“You called him what!?!”
They blinked at me when I asked.
“We’re fine. You guys just go back to sleep, I can handle this.”
The jerk spoke before any of his people was able to answer me.
“Are you sure, young master?”
I heard the short guy asked again.
“Yes. Greg. I’m sure. Thank you. Now, all of you. Out!”
I saw how everyone purses their lips and nodded.
“Good night young masters!”
They said as the closed the door.
I’m not sure if they did leave tho.
If they would be listening on the other side of the door, I wouldn’t know as much as I didn’t notice how they were approaching.
But I really didn’t care.
“Young master?”
I asked after I heard the guy in front of me muttered bye.
“You’re their boss? The boss!?!”
He looked at me before he took the duvet I threw at him earlier scattered on the floor and picked it up to wipe his face clean.
“Yes!”
He casually as he was on to wiping his soiled clothes now and that was when it dawned in on me.
“Oh my god! So you’re the guy operating in the black market then!?! What’s this, kidnap for ransom or harvesting of internal organs!?!”
The moment I saw him earlier and realized I was not really dreading, I thought he was just one of the underlings and give our history and he knew my birthday, he came to wish help me celebrate my one last birthday before the so horrible things to me.
But it turned out, he’s the boss!?!
“What did you just say!?!”
I saw him furrowed his brows at me.
“Is this how you amassed all these!?! By doing something illegal!?! And why me!?! Did you hate me that much that’s why you finally decided to target me after all these years!?!”
I kept on blabbering some more when he raised his hands at me.
“Wait up. Wait. Let me just—.”
He gave himself one more wipe in the face before he let the duvet go and regarded me.
“—where were we again? Oh, right. So you think, I’m a black market guy? And what’s it again, kidnap for ransom and internal organs harvesting!?!—.”
He trailed off before he doubled up from laughing all the while I stared at him in daze.
“Oh my god! Keno! You’re still as funny as ever!”
He was still laughing and shaking his head at me when he stilled as he realized I was not amused.
Because I really was not.
“You think this is funny!?!”
I asked him with a stern face.
He had no idea how scared I was all these time.
I was even borderline crazy.
“Alright. Alright. I’m sorry. Would you let me explain now!?!”
I stared at him after he said that with a serious face.
I blinked.
He was staring right back at me.
The same face.
But something was no longer there.
And I didn’t want to find out what by looking at his face.
Why was I even looking at his face!?!
I shook my head.
And got surprised when I heard him speak after a heavy sigh.
“Fine. There’s a magazine in the drawer there on your bedside table. You can read it, it will tell you some things about all these.”
He nodded at me.
Face serious.
I was obviously skeptical.
“Fine. Now, leave me alone.”
I said after a while.
I realized, I didn’t want to be in the same room with him for long without me trying to hit him with something.
“What? We just saw each other again after so long and it’s still your birthday, but you’re already kicking me out? Keno, come on.”
It was not my fault it was the case.
I was not the one who left without saying anything.
“If it’s true that in that drawer is a magazine that’s going to explain about all these, then I don’t need you here. Also, it’s nobody’s birthday today and. Seeing each other again isn’t something to be happy about!”
I said as I walked back towards the bed.
How did he even know it was my birthday anyway!?!
“Aw, Keno, come on! For old time’s sake!?!
I looked up before I walked closer to where he was.
I stopped when I was about a meter away.
“Me, talking to you, this close, without your face bleeding is already a leeway because of old time’s sake. Now, if you didn’t have any plans to kill me as I thought you would, then leave me alone!”
I was not sure whether to be happy about the fact that it was Apollo and not some dirty old black market like I thought it would be that was in front of me when I opened my eyes.
“Keno.”
He groaned in protest when I remembered something.
“Actually, here’s a better idea.”
I saw how his face brightened up when he heard what I said.
“I’ll leave.”
I planned to do it tomorrow but I guess the earlier, the better.
“No! No! No! It’s alright, it’s okay. I’ll leave you alone. Yeah. You can rest now. See you in the morning.”
He quickly said as he waved towards the bed and walked back to the door.
But before he finally got out and closed the door, he leaned half of his body in and called me.
“Happy birthday—-hey!”
He shut the door closed quickly as another lamp came flying at him again.
I groaned and saw the opened drawer.
There was the magazine he was talking about.
Now, what!?!
- Writer
