His weakness

I really hope this won't come back to bite me in the ass

John

It is taking everything in me to not turn around and run back to her, to beg her to tell me what the hell she meant with she isn't enough, when she knows that she has always been everything to me, since the moment I laid my eyes on her at the age of four, I knew she would be my entire world and there is nothing she could ever do would make her anything but enough for me. f**k, even now I want to save her, and keep her close. The only reason I am pushing her away is because I am finally putting myself first. I hate that I hurt her, hate that I told her that I wanted her to leave us alone, but at some point I need to move on. At some point, I need to protect myself from getting hurt again.

"Where is Jena?" My sister asks when I get to the table.

"You need to let her go. She is no good for us, Mel." I tell her, my shoulders hunching forward and it feels like the weight of the world is hanging on them.

"There is something wrong with her story, like she practiced it. She never said how her father died." My sister, always looking for answers, even if she does like them.

"Stop it. Hasn't she caused enough pain? Why are you giving her the opportunity to do it again? Why can't you just let her be?" I ask my sister, harsher than I meant, but for f**k sakes, I have had enough.

"I am telling you, there is more to her story. She is hiding something!" My sister says, her hand slamming down on the table.

"I don't care that there is more! Eight years, Mel! That is how long I waited for her! Eight years that I wondered every f*****g second of every day if she was alright, if she was even alive! I know you were hurt when she left, I know you want to find that friend you lost, but I f*****g lost the love of my life! I lost my best friend, the woman my world revolved around and you want to know what she said the day I asked her why she never came back? She said she didn't want to, that she didn't want me! I don't f*****g care what her reasons where for leaving, I don't care where she has been for the past eight years! What I care about is the fact that she didn't f*****g care at all." I can feel the tears burning my eyes, my throat closing up as I try to hold it back.

"I am telling you, Johnny, there is something there, something you don't understand." She says, her voice soft as if she is losing faith in what she is saying.

"There is nothing." I tell her and then I pick up the bottle of scotch and I down half the bottle. "Have a lovely night sis." I tell her and then I head back to the dancefloor, determent to finally let go of Jena once and for all. I aim right for the shy beauty that I danced with earlier. She gives me a smile when I walk closer and I force myself to smile back at her.

"I didn't think you would be coming back." She says, looking down at her feet.

"I am not planning on leaving here before I at least get your name." I tell her, hoping my smile doesn't look as forced as if feels.

"Bianca." She says, holding her hand out. I place my hand in hers and shake it.

"So, Bianca, are you ready to get out of here?" I ask her.

"Only if I can have your name." She says, raising an eyebrow.

"John." I tell her.

"Well, John. I am ready to leave if you are." She says and this time my smile is real. Jena, tonight is the night I get over you. Just as we start to walk out, the song Send my love comes on and I wonder if it is a sign from up above that I am making the right choice. Just as we walk out of the club, I realize that she might be here with friends or have her car here. "I came in a cab. My friends are busy with there own hook ups." She says as if she could read my mind.

"My place or yours?" I ask her.

"Mine, that way I can kick you out if I am not satisfied." She says with a smirk and I can't help but laugh. The little shy girl isn't so shy after all.

"I will try my best to not disappoint." I tell her and then make my way to where my car is parked. Bianca explains the way to her apartment and I am happy to know that it is on the opposite side of the town from where I am staying. This is just a one night thing and I am not planning on seeing her again after tonight. We stop in front of her apartment and she doesn't wait for me to open her door, just gets out of the car and walks to the door. Luckily her apartment is on the ground floor. I follow her and wait for her to unlock. She walks into the apartment and the puts on the light.

"This is me." She says as she drops her bag to the table close to the door. Instead of taking the time to look around, I pull her to me, smashing my lips against hers. She freezes for only a second before she is kissing me back, her hands moving over my shoulders before she pushes her hands into my hair. She has to stand on her toes to kiss me, pressing her body flush against me. I move my hands from her back to her ass and then lift her up, pressing her against the wall. She moans when her heat touches against my crotch and I nearly sigh in relief when my body actually reacts to the sound. My c**k hardens as I press harder into her and I groan when she starts to roll her hips against me. I lick her lips softly, asking for entrance and she opens her mouth, her taste filling my mouth. She tastes like strawberries, too f*****g sweet to be doing this.

"Please tell me you have done this before." I tell her, when I pull away to catch my breath. The second she looks up at me, I know the answer.

"Please don't stop." She tells me, but there is no way in hell that the first girl I have s*x with in eight f*****g years is going to be a virgin.

"f**k. I really don't want to stop." I tell her.

"Then don't." She says, pressing herself harder against me. "Please. I promise I am not going to go stalking you or whatever it is guys think girls do with the guy she loses her virginity to. I just want to f*****g have s*x for the first time and not be the shy friend that everyone laughs at for not being able to get a guy to sleep with me. Please." She says and I sigh.

"I wish I could, but I really can't do this. Your first time is not suppose to be with a guy that is trying to use you to forget his ex. No woman deserves that." I tell her, slowly pushing away from her.

"Was it the girl at he club, the one you saved from that asshole?" She asks, her back still against the wall, her hands now folded in front of her, her feet on the ground.

"Yeah." I tell her honestly.

"Well this is awkward." She says, rubbing her hand through her hair. "Listen, my roommate will be back in a few hours, she is usually here just after midnight. Would you mind just sleeping here in my room, and then doing the walk of shame in the morning? I just need them to think that I got rid of my V-card. It's okay if you decide not to, I am just really tired of being called the virgin of the group." She says, her shyness back.

"Well, I do owe you that at least." I tell her and she let's out a grateful breath. I really hope that this won't come back to bite me in the ass.