PAUSED | The Red King's Wrathful Mate

Chapter 8: Vanessa's POV

"He didn't deserve to have a baby with me!" I growled at Grace while she cried even more.

Violet was standing between the two of us, trying to mediate the fall out between the oldest and youngest sister.

She's a middle child to the core.

A week has passed since I killed my unborn child. Midus moved his child bride into the Palace three days after the incident and the elders have accepted Jolene as the king's second mate. A small faction of our people consisting solely of greedy men, have even welcomed the king having a queen and a second mate.

I am talked about in every corner of our tiny kingdom.

At first, there was collective outrage. Then our people splintered into different factions.

There are men and women who cannot conceive how anyone can kill an innocent child. Then there are those who say anyone who is suffering from pains of betrayal would be pushed to do such a thing to relieve the pain. And finally, we have the faction that says I did this because I am an old bitter crone who grew jealous of a younger, more fertile and more jubilant woman.

This last group consists of both men and women and they, of course, approve of the king having a second mate.

They say it will be good for the kingdom; especially if another queen ever dares to do what I did.

I have not tried to address any of these groups despite protests that I talk to the people. I have not told my side of the story. I have not tried to justify anything or explain anything.

I owe these people nothing.

News of the King sleeping with an eighteen year old child was well-known by everyone. It was our kingdom's most sensational gossip and even my own servants talked about whenever they felt I needed to be humbled.

I smiled and pretended I didn't know anything about the affair even though they all knew I most certainly felt those pains of betrayal.

They've seen me fall to the ground in pain and scream right infront of them before being taken away by the Palace servants so they wouldn't see their pregnant queen almost dying over and over again.

Of course they were concerned.

They came to visit me, wished me well. Some even cried for me and told me 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

No one spoke to Midus and told him to stop. Well, no one except for me, Violet, and Grace. No one caref enough to protest or bring the matter before Midus or the Council.

No.

They just wanted me to hang in there. So, I will not explain anything to them.

I owe them nothing.

But I owe my sisters everything. Even Grace, whose eyes are filled with angry tears and who still refuses to forgive me for what I did, deserves an explanation from me.

She deserves to know how indifferent I am to the death of that child. And she needs to know how angry and disgusted I feel each time I think about bearing a child for Midus. She needs to know that that child was a burden and I refused to carry it all in the name of hanging in there.

Anger. Rage. Fury.

That's all that roared inside me whenever I thought about Midus and Jolene and the fact that I wasted three months of my life carrying that man's child.

And the fact that I believed him each time he apologised and promised never to betray me again ... and let him sleep with me after he ... slept with another woman.

Anger. Rage. Fury.

Why would I do that?

It's one thing to be stupid enough to forgive him, but why did I sleep with him?

Who does that? And who does that more than once.

Anger. Rage. Fury.

These emotions keep roaring inside of me, demanding to be let out and kill Midus, kill Jolene and turn this entire kingdom to ruin because I didn't deserve to go through that. And I don't deserve to be painted as the villain after everything I've done for this kingdom and being treated like that by own husband.

"Gracie." I looked into those big, bright dark brown eyes of hers. "I do not regret killing that child. I regret making that child. I regret having it as a part of my body for so long. I regret carrying it. I regret carrying it for three months even while Midus did what he did to me. I regret loving anything that comes from Midus, so I regret ever wasting my love on that child. I am sorry for hurting you, Gracie."

I tried to reach for her hand, but she flinched and looked at me in a way she's never looked at me before - like I am a monster.

I was eight years old when I first met Gracie. She was two years old and cried so much that the caretakers at the orphanage gave up on her. Violet was four years old and when the two of us saw that little girl with ebony skin and bright dark eyes, we knew we'd found our sister.

We just knew.

We took care of her and when she grew up, she took care of us too.

Gracie is so smart; so curious and so kind. She would never look at anyone the way she's looking at me right now.

"You're not my sister." She looked at me in disbelief. "This isn't Vanessa." She turned to Violet. "And I don't mean that figuratively, Vi. I mean that I do not believe that the person standing before me; that the person who killed her own child is indeed the Vanessa we grew up with, laughed with and cried with. I think something has happened to her. I've been reading books to try and figure out what the hell is happening and all the signs point to soul suppression, possession, being under a spell or some kind of evil entity."

She pleaded with her eyes for Violet to believe her when Violet gave her a strange look.

"We were talking about her baby shower before she killed our nephew!" She screamed and shook Violet by the arm whe she remained quiet. "She was laughing and telling us how lucky her son will be to rule over a kingdom such as ours, but look at her now! She's filled with so much hate, Violet. Vanessa is not a vengeful or hateful person. Someone has done something to our sister and we need to get her back!"

I shook my head slowly.

I can handle losing everything else, but not them.

I can lose Midus. I can lose the crown. I can lose my people's respect, but I can't lose them.

Please. Not them.

"I am still me, Grace." I begged her while she stood to one side with Violet. "What you're doing right now is so unfair, Gracie. Are you telling me I'm not allowed to hate? I'm not allowed to be angry? After everything you've seen me go through, did you really also expect me to bear it for the sake of this kingdom? Did you expect me to remain a prisoner while my husband slept around?"

Suspicion, anger and disgust filled her eyes.

I have to get out here.

I came here to my sisters' house, my previous home, to tell them Queen Merrida has agreed to come to our kingdom. I came here to tell them we can be saved and that they won't suffer for what I've done.

But I can feel the anger in the air.

I am angry.

Grace is angry.

And now Violet is also angry. I can see it in her crystal blue eyes.

Violet gets angry at everyone, except for us.

However, I see her considering what Grace just said. She also thinks I'm not me because Vanessa is expected to bear it all. Vanessa is expected to smile and pretend her husband isn't sleeping around. Vanessa is strong, so she should bear it all.

"Ness!" I heard Violet behind me.

I kept walking.

I was getting angrier. The rage in my blood was causing turmoil inside me and fury laced every breath I took.

"Ness!" She grabbed my shoulder and made turn around to face them.

Her eyes looked softer, but Grace looked so angry that ... her eyes shone red ...

Her beast has never, ever made an appearance. It has never spoken to her. It has never allowed her to shift. It has never lent her its strength or speed.

There are only two people in this kingdom who didn't receive a beast along with everyone else ten years ago - me and Violet.

Grace got a beast. She felt the presence of another soul in her mind, her heart and her body, but that soul never did a thing after that so she was essentially like me and Violet.

And yet now ... I've angered her enough to make her beast appear?

Those red eyes only showed themselves for a second, but it was enough to startle all three of us.

"You should go." She gritted through her teeth. "What you did is unforgiveable, Ness. I thought you'd at least be remorseful, but you seem happy and relieved that an innocent child paid the price for your freedom from Midus. The Vanessa I know would have NEVER done such a despicable thing."

Anger. Rage. Fury.

It permeated the air. This entire room was dripping in anger and we were lapping it up.

"The Vanessa you know died the second I decided enough was enough." I spat at her. "The Vanessa you're looking at will do whatever it takes to protect herself, to protect Violet and to protect you. You can hate me all you want, Gracie, but if I have to drag you out of this kingdom kicking and screaming just to save you, I will do it."

I yanked my arm out of Violet's hand and stormed out of my previous home.

Anger. Rage. Fury.

It's about to burst out of me. It's everywhere.

"Your highness." My guard opened the car door for me and I climbed inside.

All I could see was red.

I was trembling, shaking from anger.

What would she have me do?

If I kept that child, I would have been stuck here until it died.

Think of Queen Merrida. I kept telling myself.

I balled my fists and closed my eyes.

Merrida agreed to come here. She agreed to come get me and my sisters out of this kingdom ... in exchange for some secrets regarding our magical barrier - a secret that none of us have been able to figure out.

The trial is in seven days. Elder Blaine is pushing for my and my sisters' execution.

I need to figure things out. I won't let them die. I will uproot this entire kingdom before I do such a thing.

Midus ... Midus wants my punishment for me to be ordered to never leave this kingdom.

He can do that. He's the king and he can push down a royal order on me and ban me from ever leaving regardless of whether I'm carrying a royal heir or not.

I'm not losing to them. I just need to be able to see past all this rage.

There's so much rage.

When the car stopped abruptly and the driver tumbled out of his seat coughing and gasping for air, my eyes were jolted open.

"I can't breathe." I heard him gasp on the ground, but none of my anger subsided.

This man is a part of the house arrest that Elder Blaine has put me under. His job is to ensure that the Queen spends no more than an hour outside her room each day.

He may drag me away if I refuse to go back inside the Palace. He may hit me if I disobey him. He may use his beast to put me in my place and he may even push his own aura down on his queen if he thinks it necessary.

He's Blaine's own hound and understands that physically, I am the weakest person in this kingdom.

I have no beast and, unlike Violet, I am no warrior.

He hasn't started beating me yet, but I can tell it's coming. He's been itching to do it, but I think he fears what Midus might do.

I've been yanked, screamed at, denied complete access outside on some days and he's pushed down his aura on me until I fell to the ground.

I stepped over him while he crawled and gasped for air.

He can die for all I care.

I reached the Palace gates before I knew it.

I needed to get inside and go up to my room so that I could be alone when all this anger exploded out of me, but I couldn't even do that.

I live with my husband and his child bride under the same roof, so of course I can't even do that.

Jolene ran up to me with a huge smile on her face, grabbed my hand and batted her innocent eyelashes while her parents and friends watched the exchange.

"Did you enjoy your time with your sisters, Vanessa?" She beamed. "I've spoken to our mate and asked him to convince the elders to give you an extra hour or two each day outside. He said he'll discuss the matter with me further tonight in our bed."

Her friends and parents all laughed and snickered behind her.

She was putting on a show to embarrass me because if my own husband can embarrass me, then why shouldn't everyone else get to do it too?

Midus hasn't slept with her ever since I killed his child. He hasn't even slept in his own room. He sleeps by my bedroom door each night and talks about the son he will never have with me and how we can take our time before trying for another child.

He talks about how the elders forced him to bring Jolene into our home and how his hands are tied when it comes to the matter. He makes promises that he will never touch her again and how it will only ever be me from now on.

I am unmoved by all his pleas and his child-bride has grown more irritable each day because she wants the king to f**k her like old times.

Anger. Rage. Fury.

If I were a shifter like everyone else, I'm sure my aura would be suffocating them all by now, but I'm not that lucky.

I grabbed her hand, let go of the little restraint I was holding onto and unleashed whatever wanted to be unleashed from deep within me.

"I am going to kill you." A calmness suddenly washed over me when all the snickering stopped and she dropped her wide grin. "I am going to kill you for the disrespect you have shown me, Petal." I called out her beast by its name and by some sheer luck from my Godess, her brown eyes turned green as her beast actually came to the forefront.

"When I kill you, Petal", that calm and authoritative voice filled the air once more, "you will be carrying Wildegaard's child. I will kill you and kill your unborn child before it has drawn its first breath. That is your punishment for committing such a grave sin against the Red King's mate."

The Red King's mate?

Why did I say that?

It was my voice saying all these things, but it was also not my voice.

How would I even go about killing Jolene? That thought has never crossed my mind despite everything she and Midus have put me through. And yet here I am saying words that are mine, but also not mine; in a voice that is mine, but also not mine. And while Petal stares back at me in fear and regretful tears, I know she knows as well as I do that I just unleashed a prophecy on her; not a threat.

Those words came from something much bigger than me and they were cast in stone the second they left my lips.

Her family and friends started running to her because the girl had dropped to the ground and was suddenly wailing like she had lost a child.

Her father shifted into his beast and before I could duck out of the way, he got me.

And then everything went dark.

"I have finally found you." A sinister voice slithered inside my ear.