Delicate and Ruthless (SERIE FEROCI 11)

Kate Sydney Montecillo  No matter how hard I tried to paint my life with light and bright colors, the darkness will never be covered.  That's what I realized as I grew up in this dark mansion. No matter how hard I tried to escape and find the light, I wouldn't be able to escape. Mananatili na lang yata ako sa dilim... habang buhay.  "Estupida!"  Naramdaman ko ang init ng pisngi ko nang sampalin ako ni Papa. Natumba ako sa sahig at napasubsob doon. Nanginig ang mga kamay ko lalo na nang maramdaman kong dumugo ang gilid ng labi ko.  "You're almost there, Kate! Mapapasok mo na ang lungga ni Arfenio! Bakit ka umatras?!" His voice thundered. It made me shiver.  I bit my lower lip and touched my swollen cheek. "I-I'm sorry... b-but, he wants me to have... t-to have s*x with him." Mas lalong dumilim ang mukha ni Papa. Hinila niya ang buhok ko. Malakas ang pagkakahila niya kaya napaigik ako sa sakit... Muli niya akong sinampal. Mas malakas kaysa sa una.  "Ano naman ngayon?! Bakit hindi mo pa pinagbigyan?! Mas mahalaga pa ba 'yang puri mo kaysa sa organisasyon ko?! Putang ina, Kate! Umalis ka sa harapan ko kung ayaw mong makatikim na naman sa'kin!" I didn't waste time. Even though my legs are shaking, I immediately stood up and went out of his office. Dumiretso ako sa silid ko at umupo sa kama. Nakita ko naman na pumasok si Leona, kasambahay rito sa mansyon. May dala siyang first aid kit.  I didn't say anything when she sat beside me and started treating my wounds. We both stayed quiet... and hopeless.  "Ang ganda ng kutis mo... kaya hindi mo dapat hinahayaan na magkapeklat," nakangiting sabi niya. Kahit alam niya... na marami na akong peklat at wala ng silbi 'yon.  Pero kung wala siya... kung wala ang kaibigan kong si Leona rito, baka matagal na 'kong nasiraan ng bait.  Hinayaan ko na lang siya na gamutin ang sugat ko. Umalis din siya agad pagkatapos. I took a shower after that and wore my long white bohemian dress. I looked at my face in the mirror. I looked like a doll... with my pale skin, light brown hair, thin but perfectly shaped eyebrows, almond doe eyes, light brown almond eyes, small but pointed nose, thin and pinkish lips... I looked like a doll, yes, and I'm also living my life like a doll. I'm just being used, played, controlled... like I have no life of my own... like I don't own myself at all. I was 5 years old when Monsierro Montecillo adopted me. I was so excited back then. Sa wakas, may pamilya na ako... pero pinagsisihan ko kaagad 'yon. Sana hindi na lang ako ang inampon niya... Sana iba na lang. Sana hindi na lang ako.  Papa is a wealthy and powerful mafia boss. He just adopted me to be his pawn, to use me. I lived my life spying on his enemies, risking my life. Palagi niya lang akong itatago sa malaking mansyon niya at ilalabas lang kung kailan niya ako kailangan gamitin para mag-espiya sa iba. Kaya hindi niya ako inilabas ang mga papeles ko, para walang makapaghalungkat kung sino ako... para magawa ko nang ayos ang trabaho ko.  There are times that I don't succeed... Just like now. Masuwerte na lang ako ngayon dahil mukhang wala sa mood si Papa. Higit pa sa pananampal ang ginagawa niya kapag nagagalit siya... Paminsan minsan ay sinusuntok ako, sinisipa, nilalatigo, at kung ano-ano pa.  I stared at my lifeless eyes. I unzipped my white dress and looked at my body... Even if I manage to escape from here... my scars are always with me.  I sat on the bed and stared at my painting canvases and books. Kapag nagtatagumpay ako sa ginagawa ko, ibinibili ako ng painting set at mga libro ni Papa bilang gantimpala. Pero sinisira niya rin ang mga 'yon kapag nagagalit siya. I just took my paint brush and continued my unfinished painting of a scarred woman. I wish to have another subject of my art, and not just myself and my suffering... My dream is to paint something radiant... and bright... and full of life.  Mangyayari pa ba iyon? Hindi ko alam. Parang imposible. Imposibleng makawala ako kay Papa.  After painting, I slept with a heavy heart. "KATE, pinapatawag ka ni Sir Monsierro." Napatigil ako sa pagsusuklay ng buhok. Tumango na lang ako kay Leona. I looked at myself in the mirror... Hindi pa gumagaling ang huling sugat na natamo ko. Panibagong misyon na naman ba? Hindi pa nakakalipas ang isang buwan... bakit meron agad? Hindi na lang ako nag-isip pa at nagtungo na sa dining room. Papa is currently having his breakfast. I gulped. My hands trembled, but I just walked my way towards him and sat on the chair, three chairs away from him.  "G-good morning, Papa," I muttered.  Papa didn't respond. He wiped the side of his lips with the napkin and stared coldly at me. "We're going to talk about your new mission." I bit my lower lip and didn't say anything. I just waited for him to talk. "Hindi kita gaanong pinarusahan sa huling kapalpakan mo dahil mas mahalaga ang misyon mo ngayon, Kate... Ito ang painakamahalagang misyon sa buhay mo," seryosong sabi niya habang nakatitig sa akin.  Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. "B-bakit po, Papa?" "You must have heard about Feroci organization. Nasabi ko na sa'yo ang tungkol doon noon..." Tumango na lang ako... Feroci... Isa sa organisasyon na kinaiinisan ni Papa. Papa hates all powerful organization, especially those that are higher than him... Isa ang Feroci doon.  "There's one feroci member who's also the mafia boss of Black Cross organization... I want to take down someone that powerful..." Papa grinned.  May inabot siyang picture sa akin. Kinuha ko iyon at tiningnan... Litrato ng isang lalaki. Matangkad at matipuno. Nakakatakot ang tindig at mga mata.  "He's Lorden Levesque, the most fearsome and the most powerful member of Feroci... he's even more powerful than Feroci's previous leader, Zakarius Cavalcante, and the new leader, Adham Jaziri. Being a feroci member alone makes him powerful already... but also being the leader of Black Cross... He's something," Papa's eyes narrowed. I gulped while staring at the picture. He's handsome and charismatic, yes, but my whole body's shivering already. Mukhang totoo ang sinabi ni Papa. Lorden Levesque is the most powerful man among all the bosses that he assigned to me.  "I want you to spy on Lorden Levesque... Do everything to win his favor and trust. Find anything that we can use against him... to bring him down. Kapag naramdaman mong natutunugan ka na niya, umalis ka kaagad. Alam mo na ang gagawin... Ilang taon mo nang ginagawa ito, hindi ba? Act like an innocent woman, like you always did... But let me remind you, Kate." Papa stood up. He stepped forward until he's already beside me. I gasped when he suddenly gripped my jaw. Halos bumaon ang mga daliri niya roon. Nanginig ang katawan ko. "P-papa..." "Kapag pumalpak ka rito, huwag ka nang uuwi... dahil papatayin na kita... Alam mong tototohanin ko kapag sinabi ko, hindi ba? Kilala mo ako, Kate. Meron akong isang salita... Kaya kapag pumalpak ka... Hayaan mo na lang na mamatay ka sa kamay niyan," sabi niya saka itinuro ang litrato ni Lorden Levesque.  Nanginginig na tumango ako. He finally let go before he left me there... alone and trembling.  "Sigurado ka ba rito, Kate? N-natatakot ako para sa'yo..." kinakabahang sabi ni Leona saka humawak sa kamay ko.  I just gave her a small smile. "Wala rin naman akong magagawa kundi ang sumunod... Ano man ang mangyari sa akin... sana alam mo na nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat ng ginawa mo para sa akin." After that, I hugged her. I hugged her so tight as if it will be the last time. Leona's shoulders trembled, but she fought her tears. Kumalas siya saka hinaplos ang magkabilang pisngi ko. "M-mag-iingat ka, Kate... Please... o kaya tumakas ka na lang kaya? Nag-aalala ako." Tipid na ngumiti ako. "Hindi rin naman ako makakatakas kay Papa, Leona. Wala akong magagawa kundi gawin 'to... Sige na, kailangan ko nang umalis. Mag-iingat ka palagi. Hmm?" We both cried as we bid our goodbye. I don't know what's gonna happen after this... but my future was clear... I'm bound to die anyway. Sa kamay man ni Papa... o kay Lorden Levesque.  Tahimik lang ako sa loob ng kotse habang paalis ng mansyon. Hinigpitan ko ang kapit sa bag ko... Kahit anong pagtatapang-tapangan pa rin pala ang gawin ko... Takot na takot pa rin ako. Kahit pa paulit-ulit ko nang sinabi sa sarili ko na mamamatay rin ako sa huli... natatakot pa rin ako.  Hindi ko man lang ba mararanasan maging masaya sa buhay na 'to? Kahit isang beses lang... kahit isa lang. Ibinaba ako sa isang hotel. Walang salita na bumaba ako ng kotse at pumasok sa hotel para mag-check in. Umupo na lang ako sa kama nang makapasok sa silid. Ni hindi ko nilibot iyon ng tingin... Nanatili lang akong nakaupo at nakatulala sa sahig... Iniisip ang mga dapat kong gawin... o kung ano ang mangyayari sa'kin.  I tried to sleep after that... but I couldn't. I just stared at the ceiling... Imagining my life if someone else adopted me instead of Monsierro.  I just found myself crying... while not blinking at all. I didn't sob. My tears were just continuously escaping from my eyes. I just want this to end. I just want to live a normal life. I just want to be happy... Why do I have to live like this?  Ano ba ang kasalanan ko sa Diyos para parusahan ako nang ganito? Bakit palagi na lang... palagi na lang siyang hindi patas?  I spent my whole night crying... I woke up with puffy eyes.  Naligo na lang ako at nagpalit ng damit. I always wear long dresses, but this time I wore a simple shirt and jeans. I carried my backpack and went out of the hotel room.  Pagkatapos kong mag-checkout sa hotel, kung saan-saan ako nagpunta... Para kung sakaling paiimbistigahan ako, magmumukha akong baguhan dito. Iniwan ko ang wallet ko sa huli kong pinuntahan... para magmukha na nawalan talaga ako ng wallet.  Tumigil ako sa huling destinasyon ko... sa tapat ng malaking building... Levesque Corp.  I heard from Papa that this business is just a facade. Lorden Levesque's main business revolves around dirty business... anything related to drugs, illegal firearms and ammunition, and anything illegal. I gulped and calmed myself. I need to look natural when his car arrives. Pinag-aralan ko na kagabi pa ang galaw ni Lorden Levesque... Pumupunta siya rito kasama ang driver niya para pumasok sa kompanya.  My pulse raced when I finally saw his car. His driver opened the door for him. He got off the car, and his presence almost filled the air. I shivered; I almost wanted to backout. I bit my lower lip. His presence alone scares me... How can I act natural around him.  I just shook my head. Lumapit ako sa kanila... Una kong nilapitan ang driver niya.  "Excuse me, Sir... P-pwede niyo po ba akong tulungan?" tanong ko.  Tumingin ang driver kay Lorden Levesque. Pinilit kong hindi tingnan si Lorden dahil hindi ko yata kakayanin ang tingnan ang mga mata niya sa malapitan. Nararamdaman ko pa lang ang presensya niya, nanginginig na ako.  "Ano 'yon, Miss?" tanong ng driver.  "Uhm... N-nawala ang wallet ko. P-pwede bang matulungan mo ako maghanap ng matutuluyan?" Kinagat ko ang loob ng pisngi ko.  "Who are you?" Lorden Levesque's baritone voice made my knees weak. He has deep and domineering voice. It's just three words but it made me stop myself from breathing. I bit my lower lip and looked at him.  The picture didn't give him justice. Di hamak na mas guwapo pa siya sa personal. Mas matipuno at mas matangkad din siya kaysa sa inaasahan ko... Napatingin ako sa mga mata niya. His green eyes are dominating. My body shivered the moment I set my eyes on them. He has thick eyebrows, pointed nose, thin pale lips, and prominent jaw... The tattoos on his neck are visible. His intense eyes are way scarier than I expected them to be.  He's wearing a black three-piece suit that made him look more powerful... as if he can crush my whole existence.  "I-I'm Kate... Kate Sydney," bulong ko na lang. Tila naubusan ako ng boses.  "What do you need from me?" My body shivered. I just bit my lower lip and played with the hem of my shirt. "Uhm... I'm talking to him," I murmured and pointed his driver.  "Don't try to fool me.... It's obvious I'm the boss between us two," he said in a cold tone.  I gulped. I just smiled at him and bit my lower lip. "O-of course. Alam ko naman... Pero mas komportable ako kung ano... k-kung siya ang hihingian ko ng tulong," bulong ko.  "Don't waste your time," sabi na lang niya at agad nang naglakad papasok ng building, agad naman siyang sinundan ng driver niya.  "W-wait!"  Agad akong humabol at humawak sa braso niya. Napabitiw lang ako nang bigyan ako nito nang nakakatakot na tingin.  "I-I'm sorry... K-kailangan ko lang talaga ng tulong. Nawalan ako ng wallet. Bago lang ako rito. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin... G-gusto ko sanang manghiram ng pera... o kaya ng matutuluyan. K-kanina pa rin ako hindi kumakain," bulong ko pa. Nanginginig ang mga kamay na humawak ako sa tiyan ko.  Lorden Levesque stared at me coldly. "I won't help someone if I'm not gonna benefit from it." Akmang aalis pa siya pero humawak ulit ako sa braso niya. "I-I don't have anything to offer. I just need a place to stay... and a food to eat... Kahit ilang araw lang. B-babayaran naman kita.  Lorden Levesque stared at me. My body shivered when he roamed his eyes on my body... But unlike the past bosses that I spied on before... It didn't disgust me, I was just intimidated and nervous. "You have something to offer though... You have your body."  "H-huh?"  He gave me an emotionless smirk. It scared me for real... He's really scary. "I'll let you stay at my place. But in return... you have to be my whore."