Will You Ever Love Me

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Happy Reading . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sawyer sat nursing a scotch on the balcony of his apartment on the outskirt of Bogotá. It’s been a long time since he has been here, but at the moment he wanted to be alone without being disturbed. And for that, this place was perfect. It was past midnight; he knew it, but his eyes were deprived of any sleep. To be honest, it’s been over a week since he has last slept a complete good night's sleep. Reason being two, one personal and one professional. His dad, Michel, was suffering from flu so he had to look after both their families transportation company and Hue, another company that belonged to a very close family friend's who was currently in California and along with that his own business that made customized perfumes needed his attention regularly. He was having trouble dividing his time among all the three. It being closer to valentines didn’t help at all as it was the peak time of the year for his company, Nature’s Fragrances, and Hue Blossom. His personal reason was none other than his girlfriend, Angelina Gomez. She was his Angel. She was the first person he had ever truly loved till now, but his subconscious was telling him to stop loving her so deeply if he didn’t want to get hurt in the end. It wanted to him to put a limit on his boundless love for her, but he refused to do so. He couldn't even if tried to do so. If that feeling wasn’t enough, his insecurity increased when her childhood friend, Matt, came into the picture a month ago. Sawyer Rodriguez wasn’t someone who felt insecure easily, but with Matt around, he can’t seem to help himself. He knew his Angel more than Sawyer did and few times when the three were hanging out together; it wasn’t Matt who looked like the third wheel; it was Sawyer. He was not as good looking as Sawyer was, shorter than he was, but still a couple of inches taller than Angel. But Sawyer knows for a fact that Angel doesn’t care about looks much. Another trait of her that he loved about her. Sawyer wanted to talk to her about all this but didn’t, afraid it will look like he was jealous and being over possessive. Though after his talk with Tulip, his god sister as well as his best friend he did get a direction as to how he could approach the topic of Matt before Angel to not appear like a complete alpha male. His scotch ended, but he was not ready to give up drinking. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and started drinking from it directly, not bothering to use a glass, knowing fully well he was already way above his drinking limit and tomorrow was going to have one hell of a hungover. At last, sleep finally engulfed him and he slept on the artificial grass that covered the balcony’s floor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sawyer’s phone was ringing continuously from somewhere inside the apartment, but he can’t stop the pounding in his head long enough to pick up his phone. The ringing stopped only for it to start again after a second. Sawyer forced himself to go take the call. He stumbled twice before he could reach the bedside table where his phone was placed. Seeing that the call was from his dad, he cursed. No way he could talk to him when he was in this state. He threw the phone that was yet to stop ringing on the bed and went to the en suite bathroom to gain if the not full at least half consciousness so he could talk to his father. Sawyer splashed water on his face repeatedly and when he could open his eyes completely, he went back to his bedroom to call back. “Good morning, dad,” Sawyer said groggily when his father Michael picked up his call. “Good morning. Where are you?” he asked. From his voice, Sawyer could not tell if he was angry or was just simply worried about him. “In my apartment,” he replied, and sat on the edge of the bed. “Okay. I called to inform doctor has given me the green signal and I could return to the work. As for Nature’s Fragrance, I’ll handle it for the day. It must have been hard for you to look after the three businesses all alone for last 15 days,” he said and this time Sawyer was sure that his father was worried for him. “Sure. And I haven’t been able to spend time with Angel recently, so I’ll definitely accept your offer,” Sawyer said, stretching his hands over his head. “Take care. I will see you when you return home.” Sawyer ended the call and went to take a shower. He reeked of alcohol. When he was done with his shower, he ate an apple and took some medicine for the headache he was yet to get rid of. By the time he was done eating, it was nearly 11 o'clock, so Sawyer took a nap knowing Angel would still be in the school. But before he quickly sent her a text asking if she was free for lunch and went to his room. His apartment was simple. It has three bedrooms, a large living room, an open kitchen, a gym, a library and a home office. The living room had a gray color couch, a glass center table with a huge plasma screen in from of it. All three rooms were also well furnished with the master bedroom being customized according to his taste. His room was filled with photo frames and light. The earth toned color of the walls felt soothing at current. He had one of his picture with Angel recently fitted in the centre of the wall, that was the family wall. Sawyer had a full ear to ear smile as he held Angel bridal style, her arms around his neck. Her smile made him smile just like any other time. There were many others–him and his parents on his graduation, him with dada, Tulip's grandfather and Tulip when he first visited her after they shifted to Canada, him with Tulip and her parents on her first birthday, of him holding Tulip in his arms when she was only two days old- and everyone was equally close to his heart. His family was everything to him and Angel was slowing becoming a part of that family. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . When Sawyer woke up, it was quarter past one. He quickly checked for any message from Angel. He smiled when he saw she had agreed to go on lunch with him. After sending her a quick text that he will pick her up from her college in 30 minutes, Sawyer got ready as it was a 15 minute drive from his place to Angel’s college. Sawyer wore light blue jeans, a black-colored undershirt, and he paired it with a patterned cotton shirt. For the footwear, he selected the boot Tulip sent him for the Christmas. He put on the watch he had used yesterday and quickly combed his hair like he usually did. Sawyer picked his phone, wallet and the car key before locking the door of his apartment and taking the elevator to the basement. Within 20 minutes, Sawyer was parking his car in front of the main gate of her college. His eyes searched for her as he looked around the area frantically from behind the tinted car window. It has been over three days since he had met her, as they both were busy. Him with work and her with med school. After five minutes, he saw her exiting the college campus with a few books on her hand. She was wearing a white color sundress that had sunflower printed on it. The dress looked even more beautiful when she was the one wearing it. Sawyer knew he was being too cheesy, but with Angel, he can’t help it. Her hair was in a loose braid with a few strands of her hairs framing her face. She indeed looked like an angel to him. Sawyer quickly got out and went to her. He took the books from her hand before giving her a peck on the lips. “Hey, love,” Sawyer greeted as she walked to where his car was parked. “How come you are here? Don’t you have three businesses to handle, Mr. Rodriguez?” she teased with a sweet smile. God, her smile was enough to make Sawyer fall in love with her. He hadn’t confessed his love for her, but he knew he loved her. With everything he had. “Dad got the green chit, so he gave me the day off. He doesn’t really believe that one should work so he could be on top of his game. His word, not mine ‘son, it’s okay to take holidays from time to time because spending time with family and your own happiness is more important than any business will ever be,” Sawyer said and opened the passenger door for her to get in. “That makes complete sense,” she commented before Sawyer closed the door and rounded the car to get inside himself. “So what’s the plan for the day?” Sawyer asked, turning to look at her. “Nothing. I have an assignment to complete and Matt is coming to help me with it,” she smiled and started doing her seatbelt. “That’s good,” he said, but it was anything but good for him. “What are you up to today now that you have got the day off?” she asked as Sawyer revved the engine. “I was hoping to spend some time with you,” his voice was low because whatever excitement he had lowered down to many levels after listening to Matt’s name. “I’m sorry, babe. This assignment is due tomorrow and I don’t know how long it will take. We can go out day after tomorrow,” she said and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll see. Let’s go have lunch. I have eaten nothing except for an apple all day,” Sawyer and pulled out of the parking lot. “You should not do that, you do know that?” she scolded, making Sawyer smile. It showed that she cared, and it made his heart dance in glee. “I had one hell of a hangover when dad called this morning, you know,” Sawyer said when silence started taking over the atmosphere. “Why would he call you? Don’t you live in the same house? And why the hangover?” Angel asked, looking confused. “I was at my apartment last night and the hangover was because I finished an entire bottle of vodka on my own,” Sawyer confessed honestly. “Sawyer, stop the car,” she demanded out of blue, making Sawyer look at her in confusion. “What?” he asked, slowing the speed of the car but not stopping it. “I said stop the car,” she repeated. “Is everything okay?” he asked back. “Just stop the damn car,” she exclaimed. “Okay, let me at least find a vacant spot,” he requested as he looked around to park his car. After a minute, he found a spot and parked his car there. The movement he stopped the car, Angel removed her seatbelt and climbed on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Sawyer quickly adjusted the seat to make enough room for her to sit. “Talk to me baby,” she whispered and looked at him deep in the eyes. “What do you mean?” Sawyer asked, caressing her cheek. “Why were you at your apartment?” she asked. Her tone gentle as she placed her hand over his. “I go there from time to time, you know that,” Sawyer replied. “You go to your apartment from time to time when you want to be alone and you only want to be alone when you are sad, no saddest. You said you drank an entire bottle of vodka. Tell me Sawyer Rodriguez, who drinks a bottle of alcohol all by himself just for leisure. They drink when they feel sad or negative emotions. Tell me what is going on? Talk to me, please,” she said as her eyes glistened with tears. "It's just the stress. The last two week have been hectic sk just to let loose..." He stopped as he saw the look on Angel’s face. One that said she knew he wasn't telling the complete truth. So this time Sawyer took Tulip’s advice and decided to tell Angel about his insecurity. He knew she would understand. “I’m sorry for feeling this way, but I don’t know why I feel so insecure whenever you relationship with Matt is concerned. He knows you more than I do. He makes you happier than I make you. I just can’t explain how I feel. I feel like I'm not good for you,” Sawyer confessed and hugged her, not wanting to look at the disappointed look her face probably had. “Hey, baby,” she pulled back from the hug and cupped his face in her thin hands. “It’s nothing. He is just a friend but if you feel like that, I won’t meet him. Will that be okay with you? There is nothing to be worried about and I’m glad you told me how you feel about the situation,” she said and gave him a deep kiss on the lips. “I don’t want to put a restriction on you. You are free, my Angel and I won’t ever want you to do something you don’t want to, but I won’t even stop you when you want something for yourself. If meeting him makes you happy, then I’m good at it. I just want you to know I’m here for you and will always be. Just don’t leave me or forget me,” Sawyer said as a tear slid down his left eye. He could not loose her. “Aww.. My baby is crying,” she cooed as she wiped that tear with the pad of her thumb. “Only you can make me cry,” he said, and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Then it’s of no use because I will never make you cry,” she smiled. “I love you, Angelina and I'm so, so sorry for feeling this way,” Sawyer said as he tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ear. She looked stunned at his confession. “Me too.There is nothing for you to be sorry for and it is me who should be saying sorry because I did something wrong,” she said as bite her lips. She did it when she was nervous. “You could do nothing wrong,” Sawyer responded. “I did. Actually the other day Matt kissed me, but I too responded and I’m sorry for that. Though I slapped him and warned him never to do that again. But still I’m really, really sorry. Please forgive me,” she pleaded. Sawyer held both of her hand and kissed her knuckles. “As you said, he was the one who kissed you first. You just merely responded. I’m not angry, just a little, the tiniest big hurt, but I’m glad you told me this,” Sawyer said. And he wasn’t lying. It was the truth. He was really glad that she told him and it wasn’t Matt who told him because then it might have been a lot more than a little. “Thank you Sawyer for everything,” Angel said and pecked his lips, though before she could pull away, Sawyer deepened the kiss. “I missed you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you much time this day,” Sawyer apologized as he leaned his forehead against her after their kiss ended. The moment was pure bliss if anyone asked Sawyer. “That’s okay. I know you were busy, Sawyer. And you tried. Don’t think I know nothing about the sender of the bouquet I received every other day.” She gave him a shy smile. “I handpicked them when I was at the field for my round,” Sawyer confessed. In last fifteen days he wasn’t able to give Angel much time so he sent her a small self-made bouquet every other day with a note. “That’s so sweet of you,” she said and pulled his cheek. Had it been any other person doing this, he would have shouted, but when his Angel did it, he smiled cheekily. “Let’s go eat something, I’m famished,” Sawyer said, to which his girl nodded and got off his lap. When she was settled on her seat and has put on her seatbelt safely, Sawyer started the car. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In fifteen minutes, he was pulling in front of their favorite restaurant. It was an Indian restaurant that served the best food in the entire Bogotá. Sawyer got down and quickly went to open the door for Angel. She smiled at him before taking his hand to get down. Sawyer gave the key to the valet and held the door open for her to enter. “How did I get so lucky?” she asked as he held her hand. “I’m the one who’s lucky here, babe,” Sawyer said. The server showed them their table and went away as they got settled in. He returned a minute later with the menu and water. “What do you want to eat?” Sawyer asked Angel. “I’ll have butter chicken, naan, rice and for dessert I think rabri would be good,” she said as she went through the menu. “I’ll have the same,” Sawyer said. The server nodded and went away. “I was saying why don’t you come and join me and Matt,” Angel suggested as she took a sip of her water. “You can just invite him to my apartment. It’s closer to his place, too. You can stay the night, if you want later,” Sawyer said. “Do you want me to?” she asked, looking straight at him. “If that is what it takes for you to stay, then yes, I want you to stay,” Sawyer answered. “Then I’ll let Matt know there is a change in plan,” she said, pulled out her phone to text Matt. By the time she was done with it, their ordered arrived. They devoured the food while making small talks asking about each other family, their day, etc. After that day, everything went back to almost normal. Almost. Matt was still there, but Sawyer could see that Angel was more careful about how she and Matt interacted, although they rarely did after that day. He felt bad, but Angel assured him it was okay. So the thing went back to the way they used to be with Sawyer, looking after nature’s fragrance and helping his dad with Hue and their transport business wherever he had time. He went to pick Angel every day after her classes ended and they went for coffee and sometime early dinner when it was late. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “Sawyer, come to the Hue’s head office right now,” Michael Rodriguez ordered Sawyer when he was on his way to pick Angel from college that day. “Dad, I’m on my way to pick Angel from college,” Sawyer reasoned. “I said right now, Sawyer. It’s urgent. Come here in fifteen minutes. Ask the driver to drive Angel home,” he said and ended the call. Sawyer called the driver first and then dialed Angel’s number. “Hey, baby. Dad called, and it’s urgent, so I have to go. Driver is on the way. He’ll drop you home,” Sawyer informed her. “That’s unnecessary Sawyer. Matt is still in the college he will drop me off. You go. Your dad must be wait for you,” Angel said. “Driver is on the way,” Sawyer said again. “Tell him to go back. He would not have come too far,” she insisted. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sawyer ended the call and once again called the driver to tell him to go back home as he himself drove to the Hue’s headquarter. When he pulled in front of the office, he noticed that there were already many cars already there. “Dad, what’s happening?” Sawyer asked as he entered the office of COO of the company. “I don’t know. Members of the board of directors are here and they are asking why we didn’t tell them about Hue’s merger with the Floral Petals,” he said and Sawyer got further confused. “What merger?” Sawyer asked. “I don’t know. I tried calling Ale, but he isn’t picking up the call,” he said and held his head in his palm. “Let me try,” Sawyer said as he pulled out his phone. “Where are they?” Sawyer asked, referring to the board members. “In the meeting room on the 25th floor,” his dad replied. “Good evening, dada,” Sawyer greeted when dada picked up the call after calling him for the five times straight. “Good evening, Sawyer,” he said. “Dad wants to talk to you,” Sawyer said and passed the phone to his dad. Dada said something to Michael after he told him about the situation to which his father agreed. After fifteen minutes, dada ended the call. “Let’s go to the meeting room,” he said, and Sawyer followed him, not wanting to disobey. “What did dada say?” Sawyer asked as they entered the elevator. “He’ll be here tomorrow afternoon and has asked me to tell the board members he’ll look after the matter himself. The information about the merger is correct though.” Sawyer felt himself getting angry at the last sentence of his father. He took a deep breath to calm himself as they both entered the meeting room. Luckily, everyone agreed to the meeting the following afternoon. That entire week was filled with files, meeting, and argument in those meeting as dada tried to convince that it was a good thing to merge Hue with Floral Petal, the company who has nothing to offer Hue. That flower farm was just a piece of barren land tht was not giving enough yield from last few years to keep the business running. At first Sawyer thought it was a foolish step and a deal that would end up being a loss to Hue, but slowly he understood what dada wanted to do. He wanted to extend their business in fields of fertilizers and manure. Though the board member took a long time to accept that idea but at the end everybody agreed. Sawyer was so busy that he could not go meet Angel. They talked at night, but Sawyer would be so tired that he usually slept even before their call ended. When finally everything was settling down, one more news came that was enough to get dada panic, so he quickly returned to Tulip back in California to make sure she was safe. Sawyer finally got some free time after that day, so when Angel asked if she could come over, he didn’t deny her. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sawyer was in the bedroom in his apartment while Angel prepared dinner for both of them. He was having a headache as he didn't have enoughsleep last week, so it was Angel who insisted on cooking for both of them as he took a nap. Remembering a ringing of the phone was one that woke him, Sawyer looked around and saw Angel’s phone lying on the other side of the bed. The screen on the phone was on, so Sawyer looked at it, thinking it might be urgent as it rang multiple, but only to be shocked as the call was from Matt. Sawyer tried to look away, but his hand acted on their own accord as he unlocked the phone, knowing Angel never like putting a lock on her phone. There was a chat window opened already and Sawyer looked at the name, only to feel hurt more than he already was. He scrolled the chat thread and was shocked to see its timing. They were mostly from around 2 to 4 in the morning. One particular part of it caught Sawyer’s attention. From : Matt Why don’t you just tell him? We could be together after that. To : Matt It can’t happen, Matt. Please don’t text me again. From : Matt Are you truly happy with him, Angelina? To : Matt It’s not your business to look after my happiness, Matt. Sawyer felt his heart cracking at statement. She just told him it wasn’t his business to look after her happiness, but she never told him she was happy. Was she really not happy with him? Sawyer continued reading, although he deep down knew it was only going to hurt him. From : Matt I love you, Angelina. To : Matt Don’t say that. From : Matt Do you even love him? Sawyer held his breath as he read the next text, but after reading it, he didn’t know if he should be grateful he read those or not. To : Matt I don’t know. Sawyer is a good guy. I can’t do that to him, Matt; he had done so much for me. And even though I don’t love him, it’s okay. You go your way because I could not see you begging me to give what we have a chance. Please go away. The phone fell from Sawyer’s hand and bounced on the mattress. He felt numb. Was she in this relationship only because of her gratitude towards him? Did she ever love him at all? Sawyer didn’t know the answer to any of those questions, but he knew one thing: he wanted her to be happy. And now that he knew how to truly make her happy, he will, even though it was going to kill him. But that's what love is right to put the happiness of your loved ones before your own so Sawyer Michael Rodriguez did just that. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What do you think Sawyer did? Will he ever be able you love someone else like he loved his Angel? What would you have done? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Join Sawyer Michael Rodriguez as he navigate his way through the pain he feel after the shocking revelation and how he copes with it. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .