The Man on the Balcony

Chapter 1-1

Chapter 1

Mark stared dismally at the phone, his thoughts in a whirl. Being in love with him is stupid. I know it is. Yeah, we’re lovers, and when he’s here I drop everything to be him. There-in lies the problem—when he’s here. When he isn’t, he’s almost two thousand miles away, with his wife and kids. He says he loves me. It’s just that he loves his kids, too. I mean, obviously, he loves them. It’s the reason he won’t divorce his wife, or so he says. Why can’t I tell him it’s over?

Each time Todd called to say he was coming to town, Mark would pray this time he’d stay. Each time, his prayers went unanswered. He often wondered if things would be different if he were female.

“Probably not,” he said under his breath, glaring at the phone. Todd had called, moments ago, saying he would arrive at the airport at five-fifteen, meaning he’d be at Mark’s apartment by seven, at the latest.

“It’s a short trip this time,” Todd had said. “David’s birthday is this weekend and I have to be home for it.” David was his son, the apple of his eye. Not that he didn’t love his daughter, Connie, of course, but David…

“I understand,” Mark had replied. And he did. Todd’s family came first. It always has, it always will. The previous month was evidence of that. He’d seen Todd once, because with Christmas then New Year’s, Todd hadn’t been able to get away to come out and visit Mark. He had apologized profusely, as he did every December. It didn’t make it hurt any the less.

Why the hell do I let this happen? Next time I…I won’t be available. A promise he often made to himself, and broke as soon as he heard Todd’s voice on the phone.

“Are you okay?” Norma, one of his employees at the costume shop asked. When he shrugged, she sighed. “The bastard’s coming into town again, isn’t he? Mark, honestly…”

“I know, I know. But damn it, I can’t help how I feel.”

“He’s using you. You know he is. If you were female, you’d be his piece on the side. Not that being male changes things. You still are.”

“You think I don’t know that!”

She hopped up to sit on the edge of the desk, saying quietly, “Then break it off. Please. For your sake, for my sake.” She patted his shoulder, smiling a bit. “I’m tired of dealing with your funks, after he’s gone home to the wife and kiddies.”

He managed a small chuckle. “A hell of an excuse to tell him this is the last time.”

“I know, but you have to keep me happy. I might quit if you don’t.”

“Uh-huh. After six years? I don’t think so.”

The front door of the shop opened, letting in chilly air—and a pair of the shop’s regular customers. Norma got off the desk, going to greet them before taking them into the showroom to look at costumes.

I should do as she said and break it off. I have to, for my own sanity. The truth, and he knew it. He also knew it wouldn’t happen. At least not tonight.