Surface Tension

Chapter 1-7

“I knew it couldn’t last!” Luke gripped the letter he’d just opened. His hand shook with anger and more than a little disappointment. Whirling round on his heel, he yelled, “Roger! Get your lazy arse out of bed; I want a word.” Luke stormed into the bedroom and threw the bedclothes to the floor.

“Uh? What’s the matter?”

“This is the f*****g matter!” Luke thrust the letter at Roger, who eyed it with suspicion, before reaching for it.

The room fell silent while Roger read.

“But…they must have made a mistake.”

“What?” Could Luke be making a fool of himself? Had he wrongly accused Roger?

“I paid them. I know I did.”

“Oh.” Luke began to calm down, even felt mildly foolish. “Have you got, uh…you know, receipts? I’ll take them round there and make them apologise.”

Roger looked shifty. “Well, I suppose I’ve got them, though I don’t know where I put them.”

Luke’s suspicions were reawakened. Climbing onto the bed and crawling over its occupant, Luke took Roger’s face in his hands. “Please, Rodge, tell me the truth. Have you been paying the rent? The letter says they haven’t received a p*****t in four months.”

Roger couldn’t meet Luke’s eyes. Rather than feeling angry, Luke felt a wave of sadness wash over him. “They could make a mistake over one month’s rent, but four?”

“Well, uh, I’m sure I’ve paid it.”

“Please look at me.” Luke tried to keep the sadness out of his voice. With reluctance, Roger met Luke’s eyes.

Even without being told, Luke knew he hadn’t paid. But he needed to be sure. “Tell me the truth.”

Roger stayed silent; he tried to look away, but Luke’s grip on his head increased. “I—” Roger swallowed, “I might have forgotten once or twice, but I—”

Luke let go of Roger’s head, crawled away and sat with his back to his lover. “What did you do with the money?”

“I, well—”

“Because, that letter,” Luke nodded at the folded sheet of paper, “is a final demand. They must have sent other letters before it. Where are they?” Luke still couldn’t look at Roger.

“Oh.”

“Answer the question.” He knew he was beginning to lose his cool. Four months’ rent would be getting on for three thousand pounds.

“I, well,” Roger swallowed again. “Christmas, you know. I had to get you something.”

That was the final straw. Luke shot to his feet and whirled round to face Roger. “You lying, cheating bastard,” he shouted. He slammed his fist down on the bedside table, causing a small lamp to totter, then fall to the carpet. Feeling angry, but amazingly still in control, Luke returned his attention to Roger, who looked genuinely terrified. “All you got me was a f*****g video game. One I already had. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it was a f*****g knock-off copy.”

“But, I…”

Taking a couple of breaths in through his nose and letting them out through his mouth, Luke felt calmer. In a quieter voice, he asked, “What did you do with the money?”

Roger looked away and crawled to the far side of the bed. The wall prevented him from escaping.

“Well?” Luke said into the tense silence.

“I don’t know.” Roger’s voice was small, cracking on the last word.

“You don’t know.” Luke mocked. “Almost three grand, and you don’t know what happened to it?” Shaking his head, Luke said, “I don’t believe you. Are you using again?” He’d not wanted to consider the possibility that Roger was back on cocaine, but he realized there’d been signs—signs he’d turned a blind eye to, his twitchiness, his irrational mood swings. “Are you?”

A mask of belligerence fell over Roger’s face. “You make f*****g tons of money and you’re arguing over a few measly quid? You never give me any spending money. So I have to get it where I can.”

Determined not to let Roger’s comments distract him, Luke went on. “Are you back on that crap?”

Roger didn’t answer.

“Look at me, damn it!” Luke shouted. It resulted in Mr Jenkins banging on the ceiling. Luke didn’t care. “I’m waiting.”

“What the f**k’s it got to do with you anyway? You’re always trying to control my life, telling me what I can and can’t do. And, God, you’ve no room to talk, letting blokes f**k you for money while somebody films it.”

Luke saw red. He pounced on the bed, and before Roger could scramble away, was on top of him, blindly throwing punches at the face in front of him. At the nose that had snorted the filthy drugs.

Roger fought back, but Luke was on top and his actions were fuelled by anger, so the attempts were ineffective.

“I f*****g loved you, and you used me, used drugs. I f*****g loved you, and you just wanted me so you could get drugs. You’re a lying, worthless piece of shite!” Luke was now screaming, and Mr Jenkins was hammering even harder on the ceiling. “And you can f**k off, too, you f*****g old creep!” Luke reached over to the bedside table, picked up the brass alarm clock and hurled it at the ceiling. The clock left a crater in the plaster before falling uselessly to the bed.

Panting, Luke stared down at his former boyfriend. A tiny part of him felt guilty, even sorry, but he squelched it. “I’m going to pack a bag and go stay with Sam and Donnie. I’ll be back in a few days. By then you will have moved out.”

“No, Lukie. You don’t mean it. I love you. I’m sorry. I—” Roger burst into tears. Luke remained unmoved. He’d seen all this before. Whenever Roger was beaten in an argument, out came the water works.

“Don’t bother, I don’t want to know. We’re over, Roger. I want you out of here.”

“Where will I go?” Roger sniffed, putting on his pathetic act.

“You can go and live with your drug dealer for all I care,” Luke laughed. “Maybe he’ll f**k you for money, or in your case, drugs.”

Roger ran into the bathroom, complaining Luke had broken his nose. Luke used the time to pack a bag. He was outside on the street, hailing a taxi within five minutes.

* * * *

“Bloody hell. You look awful.” Donnie opened his door and ushered Luke inside.

“I’ve broken up with Roger,” Luke said as he headed for the living room, leaving Donnie to close the door.

The journey to Sam and Donnie’s had reminded him so much of the same ride he’d taken less than a week earlier. Then he’d had thoughts of how his and Roger’s relationship was disintegrating and how it seemed likely they wouldn’t be together for much longer. The irony during the second taxi journey hadn’t been lost on him, doing little to help him in his battle to remain dry-eyed.

Now in the safety of Donnie’s house, Luke let go. Through his sobs, Luke heard Donnie walking down the hall.

“It’s about time, too. I told you he was no good,” Donnie’s voice got louder as he entered the room, “but would you listen? Oh, Luke!” Donnie knelt in front of the sofa and pulled a tearful Luke into his arms.

“Why?” Luke sobbed. “Why can’t he just love me?”

“Let it all out, love. It’ll be all right. You’ll see.” Donnie began to rock Luke, all the while making comforting noises.

“He’s using drugs again,” Luke said through his tears. “He promised me he’d stay clean. He promised.”

“I know. You gave him every chance, but he…well, you don’t want to hear me tell you I told you so.”

“I’m sorry. You were right. Roger wouldn’t change. It’s just that in the beginning I thought—”

“You felt safe with him. He was physically stronger and…but never mind. You’ve seen him for what he really is now.” Donnie let go of Luke and moved onto the sofa. “Come here.” He took Luke back into his embrace. “Does the suitcase mean what I think it means?”

“Yes.” Luke sniffed. “Do you mind?”

Kissing the top of Luke’s blond head, Donnie said, “Silly boy. Sam and I will be happy to have you stay for as long as you need.”

“Thanks. Should only be for a couple of days while Roger finds somewhere else.”

“Not a problem.”

“He asked me,” Luke shuddered at remembering the argument, “where he could go.”

Donnie laughed. “You should have told him, ‘Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.’”

“Why?” Luke looked up at Donnie in confusion.

Donnie smiled before kissing Luke’s forehead. “Never mind. The main thing is that you’ve left him. For good I hope.”

“Yes, it’s for good.” Luke snuggled back into Donnie. “I’ve got to move on.”

“After all, tomorrow is another day.”

“Yeah.” Luke felt safe being held by Donnie. In the beginning Roger would hold him, but he soon got bored with it. That, if anything, Luke knew was what he missed most. Sighing, Luke said, “You’re so lucky to have Sam.”

“I know.” Donnie squeezed Luke tighter. “You’ll find someone else. Someone a lot better. But in the meantime you’ve lots of friends.”

Luke knew that most of his so-called friends only hung around him because of what he did. Once his career ended, they’d soon drop him. Already, work was becoming harder to come by as his body and face filled out and lost their boyish appearance.

Slowly, after more sniffles and short snatches of conversation, Luke fell asleep, his head on Donnie’s lap, feeling safe and loved as Donnie stroked his hair.