Did you ever love me?
1605 Words
Isabella’s POV
The following days, I spent my time focusing on pack matters that I needed to handle. It’s been two days and I haven’t gone back to our house and only stayed and slept at the pack house.
In fact, I feel like I couldn’t afford to take a step back inside that house again. Especially after that incident.
Hearing my own husband sleeping with another woman – his first love, was a huge slap of reality to my face.
“Please take care of yourself, Luna. You should be taking a rest now.”
Jane was with me for almost all the time and was now currently encouraging me to take a break seeing that I almost stumbled on my feet earlier while walking back to my office.
These past few days, I’ve been visited by constant headaches and dizziness. Perhaps it was due to stress, lack of sleep, and the workloads I’ve been doing.
“I’ll just finish this one.”
I wanted to bury myself with workloads so that I could stop thinking all about my problems… even just for a moment. Yet, deep inside me, I felt like rushing things.
I feel like I had to finish my luna duties that are currently needed to be dealt with. I feel like running out of time.
But as much as I planned to avoid Xavier during these past few days, I know that I need to face reality sooner or later. And it came sooner than expected.
A servant came and told me that Xavier wanted me at our house. With heavy and burdened steps, I manage to go back at our house… no, I don’t think I have the leverage to call it ‘our’ house anymore.
A feeling of pain and bitterness washed through me as I finally took a step inside the house. The feeling turned even worse when I discovered that it was Sophia who was waiting for me in the living room, and there was no trace of Xavier around.
Her smile ignited a burst of flame inside my chest. I admit that… I hate her.
I hate her, because she has Xavier’s love.
“How are you?”
“What do you want?” I pursed my lips as I faced her.
“I just want to ask how you’ve been doing,” the feigned innocence on her tone made me feel sick. “–on your last days of being the Luna of this pack.”
Her words evoked different emotions in me. Anger, disappointment, and pain. But I didn’t want to look so pathetic in front of her. I could not allow myself.
“I’m doing well.” I managed to stay composed despite the surging emotions inside me.
Sophia raised her brows. “You knew that Xavier's planning to divorce you, right?”
I took a deep breath, looking at her with an indifferent gaze. “Even if he is indeed planning to do it, I suppose you should not concern yourself with it.”
“And how can I do that?” She chuckled sarcastically, her eyes showing pride as she continued. “I’m the one Xavier loves. You’re just someone he married to serve the duties of a Luna. But now that I’m back…”
She walked forward and stopped only a step away from me. “He’s definitely choosing me. He can’t even wait to get rid of you.”
I gritted my teeth, as I clenched my fists. The pain of my nails digging into my skin was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling inside my chest.
“You see those papers?”
My eyes travelled towards the papers on the table.
Sophia smirked at me. “He’s just waiting for you to sign it.”
With that, she walked past me while bumping my shoulders. I stumbled but remained rooted in my spot afterward. It took me a long time to move and pick the papers on the table.
I didn’t expect that this would happen sooner. But now, seeing the words written on the paper struck me like lightning.
The papers I’m holding are the divorce papers Xavier has prepared. But he still hadn’t signed it.
Perhaps he was waiting for me to sign first… to save me a little bit of dignity?
I wanted to ask him so many questions, yet the realization hit me that he probably didn’t even want to see me cut all these thoughts.
He probably got too fed up, staying with someone he doesn’t love. And now that the person he loves is back, I have no room in here.
Even the divorce papers were personally handed to me by Sophia, and that was a huge slap to my face.
Does he even consider my feelings? I smiled bitterly. Why am I even asking this when the answer was pretty much clear already? I was too pathetic.
~~
“WHAT have you done?!”
I didn’t expect to finally come face to face with him a few hours after I received the divorce papers. And things got even worse when I was faced by his furious appearance, supporting a crying Sophia beside him.
All the words I wanted to ask him got struck on my throat. I don’t even get it. Why does he look so mad at me?
“What are you talking about?” I managed to speak amidst the surging emotions inside me.
Xavier narrowed his eyes at me. “I didn’t make you a Luna so that you could abuse your authority!”
“Xavier, s-stop it. I’m alright.” Sophia spoke in a weak tone beside him.
It was only now I noticed that her hair was disheveled. There were some marks on her arms and her face looked as if she had just finished crying. The confusion in my head grew. But it was immediately filled with disappointment when I realized that Xavier was blaming me.
“I did not allow you to hurt her.”
His cold yet mad voice pierced something into my heart. I felt so broken. Was he blindly blaming me for Sophia’s current state?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was all I could muster to say before finally leaving the area.
I couldn’t get myself to stay there, knowing the person I love was clearly defending his true love and even blaming me without any evidence.
Am I too shallow, or is he? Sophia probably made up some story again and put the blame on me. And Xavier couldn’t even get himself to know the insides of the story and kept blindly believing in her words. I felt like I was being torn apart.
“We’re not yet done talking.”
A wave of dizziness came through me as I managed to reach my room and supported myself on the wall. Xavier came walking from behind and quickly entered the room with his furious-looking face.
“What else do you want me to say?” Amidst the nausea I was feeling, this time I managed to snap back at him. “What’s the use if you only keep believing what she’s telling you?”
He looked taken back for a moment, but then it was immediately replaced by annoyance.
“You’re telling me she’s lying?” He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at me. “She’s defenseless and still recovering. Among the people of this pack, you’re the only one she’s encountered-”
“So, you’re telling me that I was the one who attacked her?” I chuckled, bitterness dripping in my tone. “Do you really think I’m that petty to do that to your woman?”
He remained pursing his lips. This time, I managed to meet his gaze with the same intensity.
“I won’t let this happen again.”
“As you wish…” My voice lowered. I was glad it didn’t break down. Despite the pain I was feeling, both emotionally and physically, I managed to find the papers in the drawer.
“Here are the divorce papers.”
I shoved the papers into his chest and walked back to the closet, trying to calm myself down.
“What games are you playing right now?” To add even more salt to the wound, his words managed to destroy the little bit of defense I had in my heart.
“This is what you want, right?” I forced a smile on my lips. “I’ve already signed it.”
His eyes darkened before I saw him tossing the papers on the ground.
“Stop with this act of yours right now.” There was a hint of growl in his tone, and it almost made me submit. In fact, he was still the alpha of this pack, the one with the highest authority. He can make anyone in this pack submit to him.
But the pain that has been accumulating in my chest has topped all my emotions.
“Xavier…” The sound of his name felt so familiar yet foreign on my lips. It brought countless emotions in me, but I remained standing, looking straight into his eyes with the little bit of dignity left in me.
“In fact, I’m already tired too.” I murmured slowly, meeting his gaze. He looked taken back by my words, his cold and indifferent eyes showing some unknown glint of emotion as he looked at me.
But I managed to smile. “In our three years of marriage, did you ever love me?”
- Writer
