The Thunder Wolves MC - Petal (Book #12)

14

Finch

She was still mad. Maybe it was too soon to try and talk to her. Goose said I should give her more time to calm down. But I wanted to talk to her before her next shift, which was tomorrow. So here I was, face to face with a very obviously angry woman. One who I found even sexier when she is angry. Yet, it was not a side of her I wanted to see very often. And as I stood staring at her and not getting to it by saying what I came here to say, she grew angrier. Her eyes narrowed at me as her arms crossed over her chest, and a loud sigh from her pulled me from my inner thoughts. I needed to open my mouth.

"First, I need you to know I am sorry. Not just for kissing you but for my actions the other night. I know you don't belong to me, and I have no right to say otherwise. I also had no right to kiss you without your permission, and I promise that will never happen again. I know there is no excuse for any of it, but I hope you understand my reasons. But to explain those, I need you to know you are the first woman I have thought about, let alone wanted to be with, since Anna's mother died. You are the first woman since Hanna that I have even taken a second look at, which is almost laughable since you are also off limits, and I shouldn't even have been taking a second look. But since you started at the club, I haven't been able to help myself from wondering what you are like outside the club. What your likes and dislikes are. If you would even bother giving a guy like me a second glance if given the chance. But knowing I could never find out unless you no longer worked at the club or I was able to find a job with a schedule that worked out so well for my family and I was able to make the same kind of money. I knew I would never get a chance to get to know you. And then I did get a chance to get to know you, and I couldn't stop myself from feeling jealous as I watched you at the club. I know it is unfair of me to feel that way, but it's how I felt. At first, I thought I could deal with only being friends, but watching you while at work, I now know I could never be friends and not want more. But at the same time, I could never be more while watching you dance at the club, and it would be unfair of me to ask you to quit.

Even still, I can't help but want you in my life. I still want to know more about you and your likes and dislikes. What makes you happy? I want to know more about you. And if getting to know you means swallowing my jealousy, I will do my best, but I will make no promises. In the meantime while, I work on that, and well, because Jax isn't willing to keep me at the same club as you. I will be working at the other club across town for now.”

I knew I was starting to ramble, but I couldn't help it. I needed to say what I came here to say. I wanted to get everything out before I didn't have a chance to. All I could hope for was I was making sense. But it was hard to tell when she continued to stand in front of me with her arms crossed in front of her. The only thing that had changed was she was no longer glaring at me but staring up at me. And as I stopped talking, not sure what else to say, I couldn’t help but worry even more that everything I said didn’t make any sense. The silence seemed like it was dragging on forever, and I was getting worried. Shifting from one foot to the other, I tried to figure out what else I should say and if there was anything else I could say. I started to wonder if maybe I should leave, yet at the same time, I didn’t want to go. I wanted her to say something, anything.

After a long time, she finally moved. Her arms falling to her sides. Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she turned around, walking farther into her apartment. Moving across the room before walking back over to me. Stopping in front of me, shaking her head.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

Shrugging, I sigh.

“I am not expecting anything from you. I just wanted to explain myself while letting you know how I feel about you.”

Slowly, she nodded her head.

“Okay.”

Again, silence fills the room. This time, I didn’t let it drag on.

“I will understand if you never want to talk to me again. Though I hope you might be willing to let me take you out sometime. For now, I will let you be. You have my number. If I don’t hear from you, I will understand.”

Turning, I took my leave, letting her be by herself for now. Actually, if I am being honest, I was leaving before she could say anything else because I didn’t want her to reject me to my face. If she was going to reject me it was going to be hard enough, I don’t know that I could have handled her doing it to my face. If she doesn’t call or text me, taking me up on offering to take her out was going to be one thing. But her being outright, not wanting anything to do with me, would drive me crazy.