Hearts Of Nepal Collection

Chapter 7

Michelle dragged her daypack off the kitchen table and slung it over her shoulder. “Come, Merlin,” she called to her girlfriend’s chocolate Lab who was watching her from the kitchen archway. She opened the door to the attached garage of her one-story ranch and waited for him to scoot through. Outside, Cam was loading the last of their hiking gear into an idling 2015 Highlander. Michelle took one last look around the kitchen, making sure she wasn’t forgetting anything, then grabbed her hiking poles. After locking up, she joined the woman she’d known for over twenty-five years.

“So, grab coffee at Ernie’s?” Cam said as Merlin jumped into the back seat.

Michelle threw her pack in the back of the car and shut the tailgate. Looking up at the cloudless blue sky, she breathed deep and wondered if she’d break down once she was out on the trail. Hiking in the wilderness of Algonquin Provincial Park had been her special time with her husband Adam, but with him gone now, she wondered how she’d react. She shut the tailgate and put on a smile. “Perfect!”

Cam hopped in the driver’s seat, and as Michelle got in, she put her long blond hair up. Slipping her Expos cap on, she entered their destination into her GPS. “Got your passport, right?”

“Right here,” Michelle said, patting the breast pocket of her trail jacket. “Looks like we have a good day for it.”

Cam buckled up, put the car in gear, and they were off for the hour-and-a-half jaunt over the border to Saranac Lake in the States. There, they’d hike the Ampersand Trail. Training for the real stuff, Cam called it—the real stuff being the Himalayas. When Cam suggested they travel to Nepal to fulfill Adam’s bucket list wish, she was all in, even though the idea of traveling halfway around the world scared her.

Michelle could still see the intense gaze coming back from her sister-in-law’s bright hazel eyes. He would’ve wanted this!

He would’ve wanted this!And Cam was right!

Despite losing her brother and going through her own grief, Cam had never wavered in her support for Michelle. She was the one who forced her out of the house on weekends: took her on field trips, to dinner, or just anywhere to hang out and talk. And what was more, Cam never tried to fix her, but instead just listened when she blamed herself for what happened on the day Adam was taken away from her. Cam was the one who kept her from sliding off into the abyss when the world turned into a shitstorm.

“So,” Cam said, “you’ll never believe who messaged me this morning.”

Michelle assumed it was a guy and shrugged. Cam had so many of them chasing her, she needed a scorecard. “I haven’t a clue, who?”

Cam shot her a sideways glance. “Matt. Remember him?” she said.

Michelle c****d her brow, remembering Cam telling her about the date from Hell whose idea of an outing was a jaw-jarring ride on the back of his all-terrain four-wheeler through the forest. “You mean Lumberjack Boy?”

“One and the same. The caveman wanted to know what I was up to.”

“Did you answer him?”

“Nooo,” Cam said. She was quiet a moment, then in a brittle tone, added, “I think I need to give up dating for a while. There’s just nothing out there worth it.”

Now it was Michelle’s turn to be quiet. Cam was venting, but she knew she wasn’t serious. Not that Cam dated anything that walked upright, but still!

Cam tightened her jaw. “You think I’m kidding.”

“No,” Michelle said and smiled.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Michelle said.

Cam eyed her and sighed. “You’re probably right.”

“About what?”

“What you’re thinking. That I like it a little too much.”

itMichelle shrugged. “You could be a little more selective. I mean, mind-blowing s*x alone does not make for a meaningful relationship.”

“I know…I know. And hey, I’m picky!” Cam protested.

“Right.”

They were quiet a moment. Finally, Cam said, “There’s Ernie’s.”

Cam pulled in and they ordered a couple of coffees along with a sausage biscuit for Merlin from the drive-thru. Once they were off again, Cam said, “So, I’m all set.”

Michelle tossed the biscuit wrapper in a trash bag. “All set with what?”

Cam shook her head. “Duh, the paperwork for the trip. Insurance, paying off Andersen?”

“Oh, yeah. All set,” Michelle said. She sipped her coffee as a recurring vision of them searching for their Andersen connection at a strange airport where no one spoke a lick of English flashed before her. She’d never traveled abroad, and the thought of being swept away in a sea of humanity to God knows where unsettled her. It was a dark thought she’d been keeping to herself for some time, but as the date of the trip loomed ahead, it began to assert itself more and more.

She took a deep breath, trying to squash her anxiety. “So, do we know how many guys are in our tour group yet?”

Cam fidgeted in her seat as they fell in line with traffic that was slowing down at the border crossing. “I think all of them are guys except us, but I can’t be sure. Grab my passport from my purse, would you? It’s right on top.”

Michelle sighed as she dug Cam’s passport out and added her own with it.

“What?”

“Oh…nothing. Just thinking.”

“About what?” Cam said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Michelle looked off at the other cars crowding around the border patrol booths, wondering if she should say anything. They’d had similar conversations about her concerns in the past, and always Cam had made light of her worries. But the reality was, since Adam had died, she hadn’t laced her hiking boots up once. Finally, she said, “I’m nervous about slowing everyone down.”

“Oh, please. No one’s in a race to get around the Circuit, ‘Chelle.”

“Maybe, but I’m sure I’ll bog everyone down,” she said.

Cam huffed. “You need to let go of that before you drive both of us crazy. You’ll be just fine,” she said as the car currently at the border patrol booth was waved through. Putting the car in drive, she pulled ahead.

The interrogation with the tall Border Control officer, whose dark brown eyes glanced up and down Cam’s body, was brief. Even so, Michelle was fairly sure Cam was aware of his looking her over by the way her voice softened in answering him. After they were waved through and on their way to Saranac, Michelle said, “You sure know how to manage the border boys. I get the full deal coming through customs and they just wave you on through.”

Cam shrugged. “Most of them just want their egos stroked.” She broke into a wicked smile and added, “Among other things.”

“Oh my God, did you just say that?”

Cam smirked. “I think I just did.”

“You are so bad,” Michelle said, then burst out laughing. But deep inside, she envisioned Cam on the trail surrounded by the guys while she brought up the rear alone.

They drove into the depths of the Adirondack Park on a winding road that snaked through the towering spruce and pine. As they drove, veering east through the isolated villages of Gabriels and Harrietstown, Michelle tried to ease her anxious mind. She knew she was catastrophizing (Cam’s word for it) and that all of her worst fears had never come to pass.

Five miles later, they were driving through the dense wood, and by the time they came to the village of Saranac Lake, the sun was high in a cloudless blue sky. Cam pulled off the main road that bordered the sparkling blue lake and parked next to a country store/gas station. While Cam went inside, Michelle waited with Merlin, watching people going in and out of the quaint roadside shops bellying up to the lake.

When Cam came back out and joined her, they looked over the water where jet skis were darting back and forth. Michelle tilted her head back and took a breath of the pine-scented air.

Cam tapped Michelle on the arm. “I believe that’s our destination,” she said, pointing to the rising treed landscape overlooking the lake.

Michelle followed the leading edge of the ridge that rose above the lesser peaks and nibbled her lip.

“What?” Cam said as Merlin sat beside them, sniffing the air.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t you worry. You’ll do just fine,” Cam said, turning toward her. She put her hand on Michelle’s shoulder and stared her in the eye. “This is for Adam, never forget that.”

“I know,” Michelle said and steeled herself.

Cam gave Michelle’s shoulder a squeeze. “You’ve worked hard in the gym. You’re in good shape. Come on, let’s go. Daylight’s wasting.”

While Michelle couldn’t argue about her being in better shape lately, she still worried. It had been two years since she had been on a real trail, before…. Her breath caught as the thought passed through her like a knife.

I’m not going to go down this dark well—not now!

I’m not going to go down this dark well—not now!Michelle closed her eyes and swallowed the heartbreaking image of her husband, forcing it back to the private place in her heart where she held him safe.

Ampersand’s beaten trail beat a level path under the forest canopy for the first kilometer before taking to a moderate uphill slope. As she followed it with Merlin dashing back and forth on the trail, Michelle gazed at the sea of green ferns and trillium that dominated the understory. Here and there, fallen trees and decaying stumps poked up through the sun-dappled verdant blanket. Above, squirrels raced along the clacking branches and birds flitted from limb to limb. The whine of insects permeated the spring air that was warming up. Cam, who was walking ahead, stopped and waited for her to catch up.

“The trail’s busy this morning,” she said, nodding at the group of teens who’d just tromped past them.

Michelle watched the barelegged girls marching ahead with tank-topped boys leading the way. The majority of them were wearing sneaks and ankle socks. A couple of them carried backpacks. Michelle shook her head and waved a couple of black flies away from her face.

“They’re gonna get torn up pretty good.”

“Oh, yeah,” Cam said, bending over and retying her boot. She looked up at Michelle. “Say nothing of ending up with a blister or two. City kids, probably.”

Michelle was quiet a minute. All of a sudden, she was noticing things that were bringing back memories of Adam. Images of Adam in his dress blues, of him stepping off the military transport plane into her arms, of them hiking the Seaway Trail, camping in the provincial park and canoeing—things they’d still be doing if she hadn’t forgotten to get gas that fateful morning.

They started off again, walking at a steady pace as Merlin bounced ahead. Sometimes they passed people who were admiring the forest until at last the ground ramped up to a steep rocky incline. As it did, they met strewn boulders. Poling along, Cam led the way, her long legs able to bridge the substantial stepped heights of the helter-skelter stone riprap. Michelle tacked her way up behind her and after a solid hour of uphill going, they took a moment to relax and slake their thirst.

Michelle sat on one of many boulders marching up the ragged mount and mopped a river of sweat off her face. Looking up, she hoped to find the top. They’d been climbing for what felt like forever, and she was ready to get off this winding, steep trail cutting into the mountain.

Cam dropped her daypack beside her and leaned against a thick maple. “You okay?” she said, digging a bag of trail mix out of her pack.

“Yeah, I’m good. How much farther, you think?” Michelle said as Merlin bounded back from above where he’d been exploring. The dog nestled beside Cam, his tongue lolling and tail wagging.

Cam looked upward. “Don’t know,” she said. “Can’t be too much farther.”

“I’ll be glad to get into open air.”

“I hear that,” Cam said, stepping up to Michelle. She offered the bag of trail mix to Michelle. “Want some?”

Michelle dug in and grabbed a handful. She glanced at Adam’s sister from the corner of her eye, put her hand over Cam’s and smiled.

“What?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking how good it is to be out here. I’ve missed the woods.”

Cam studied her a moment with a crooked smile. Finally, she said, “Yes it is, and we better get moving before the bugs find us.”

An hour later, Michelle sat on the undulating granite slabs of Ampersand’s summit overlooking the rolling land of spiked pine and spruce. Beside her, Cam sat cross-legged near the edge of the down-sloping rock that dove into the forest.

The last hundred meters up the side of the mountain had tested Michelle, but she was proud of herself, despite being scared a couple of times when the trail turned into a wreck of fallen trees and slick-faced boulders. Her reward was an angry red scrape above her ankle, which she was presently dealing with.

Cam nodded at Michelle’s leg and then at her woolen sock lying beside her. “You’re not wearing liners?”

“Couldn’t find any,” Michelle said, digging a bandage out of her pack. She peeled the tabs off and fixed it over the sore, hoping the field dressing would get her down the mountain. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” She stretched her injured leg out, buttoned her canvas med kit up and put it away.

“Okay. Keep an eye on it, though,” Cam said as Merlin came loping back from another exploration. She looked off toward Mount Marcy and was quiet for some time. Finally, she said, “It’s beautiful up here, don’t you think? I can only imagine what it’ll be like in Nepal.”

Michelle pulled a ham sandwich out, ignoring the dog’s hopeful gaze, and took a bite. “The people where I work think I’m nuts going there, except my boss, Don. Which is a good thing because we’re gone for a month. Speaking of which, how did the partners take your news?”

Cam smiled. “Like a baby takes a bottle.”

“I should have you break the news to my brother and dad,” Michelle said, and smiled.

“Well, my family isn’t high on me going either. But hey, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m 43,” Cam said and grabbed a sandwich from her pack and unwrapped it. “Hey, wait, you haven’t told them yet?”

Michelle shrugged. “Umm…nope, not until I’m ready,” she said.

“Oh my God! Really?”

“Yep. You know CJ. He’ll go off like a Roman candle, and I’m not interested in dealing with it until I’m ready. Don’t worry, we’re good,” Michelle said, and petted Merlin. Then, sensing the time was right to bring up the phone call, she added, “By the way, he phoned me last night.”

“Oh? And?”

“He mentioned there’s a house near his neighborhood for sale. Told me he’d buy it and give it to me if I moved up north.”

Cam’s eyes widened. “Why?”

Michelle looked off. “He wants his family around him, says he’s worried about Dad, especially after his heart attack. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry. I’m not going.”

“Still, your father would love having you nearby.” Cam was quiet a moment, then added, “What’s Monica have to say about it?”

“Don’t know,” Michelle said, trying to hide her reservations toward her brother’s wife. “She probably likes the idea of me being there so she can have CJ back to herself.”

“Don’t sugarcoat it,” Cam said. “We both know Monnie wants you to daddy-sit.”

Michelle couldn’t argue with that. “You think?”

Cam rolled her eyes. “Daddy’s little princess.”

There was that. Monica was spoiled growing up and had a sense of entitlement. For the life of her, Michelle couldn’t understand what CJ saw in her. Then again, CJ had been driven to make something of his life after putting his family through hell, and marrying into the Mannington family had gone a long way in doing that. Michelle supposed she couldn’t blame him.

That Monica had given CJ two beautiful children, even though they were a tad spoiled (okay, a lot spoiled) sealed the deal. But he was a good father and he grounded his children in a world of glitter that spun around them like so many sugarplums on Christmas morning.

Cam took a bite of her lunch, looked toward the valley below and said, “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing…yet,” Michelle said and cleared her throat. “Hey, wanna get a room in town and drive back tomorrow?”

Cam turned back with a start. “That sounds great except what do we do with Merlin?” She tilted her head toward the dog.

“Oh…yeah, right,” Michelle said, and pulled Merlin tight to her. “I’m sorry buddy. Your auntie wasn’t thinking, was she?” The dog bent his head back, trying to lick her face.

“Hey, I have an idea,” Cam said.

“What’s that?”

“What about my place? The wine’s free there, too.”

“Hmm…I like that idea,” Michelle said. “And we can stop at Bernie’s on the way back and pick up takeout. I’ll buy.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Cam said.

They ran into torrential rain on the way home and by the time they pulled into Cam’s driveway, the scrape on Michelle’s leg was a raging fire. She opened the car door and stepped out into the cool, damp evening with Merlin piling out behind her. As she did, she sucked a breath and gritted her teeth.

Cam grabbed the takeout and headed for her side door. Unlocking it, she pushed it open and glanced back, catching Michelle limping after her. “You gonna make it, Hop-Along?”

“Very funny,” Michelle grumbled as she ducked in behind her. “I think I screwed up royally.”

“Ya think? You could have told me you needed liners this morning when we left and I would have stopped at TrailTown, you know.”

“I know. I just didn’t want to hold us up,” Michelle said as she plopped down with a grimace onto one of Cam’s kitchen chairs. Bending over, she untied the laces and tugged her boots off. As she did so, Cam glanced at the bloodstained sock that covered the bandage on the side of her leg.

“Ouch! Sit right there and I’ll go grab my med kit and get you cleaned up,” Cam said setting their takeout on the kitchen table. A minute later, she was back with a small plastic case and a large towel tucked under her arm.

“Merlin, stop sniffing around that table,” she said to the dog as she slid her hands into a pair of latex gloves. The dog darted glances between their takeout and them, then reluctantly retreated to the corner of the room. Cam kneeled before Michelle, placed the towel under her foot, and peeled the sock off, revealing the b****y bandage. Sitting back, she sighed and looked up guardedly.

“What?” Michelle said.

Cam turned the leg into the light. The area around the blister was swollen and red. “I’ll do what I can, but tomorrow we’ll need to get you to the clinic and have this looked at,” she said, dousing a cotton ball with peroxide. She pulled the bandage away and exposed the wound. “This is going to sting a bit.”

Michelle looked down as Cam lifted her foot. As she dabbed the Q-tip on the wound, Michelle jerked her foot back and winced. “Easy there, Nurse Ratched!”

“Hold still,” Cam said.

“Sorry, but easy, okay,” Michelle said.

Cam took hold of her leg and went about cleaning out the wound. “You’re going to need to stay off this for the rest of the night.”

“So, no shower?” Michelle said. She gritted her teeth while she watched Cam cut away a shriveled flap of skin.

“‘Fraid not,” Cam said looking over her work. She reached into her case and pulled out a surgical sponge and tamped the area around the wound lightly, then slathered ointment on it. “We’ll let it drain for a bit then I’ll bandage it up.”

“What about a bath…if I keep my foot out of the water,” Michelle said.

Cam sat back on her heels. “I suppose that’d be okay. Just be careful.” She put her medical stuff away and got up. “You need help getting to the bathroom?”

“No, I think I can make it,” Michelle said and got up.

“Okay, I’m gonna grab a fresh towel for you and get you a robe,” Cam said and headed down the hallway. Over her shoulder, she added, “Remember what I said, keep that hoof out of the water.”

Michelle shed her clothes and was about to toss them in a white wicker hamper when Cam knocked on the door. Thinking nothing of it, Michelle told her to come in.

“Here, let me take those from you,” Cam said, hanging a dark blue robe on the back of the door and reaching out for Michelle’s pants and shirt. Michelle handed them off and turned to draw a bath. As she did, she heard Cam come in. Flashing her a smile, Cam handed her a handful of bath beads then left.

Michelle dashed them in the water and watched it bubble up as she tied her hair back. Before long, the bathroom was saturated with lavender scents. She straddled the rim of the oval garden tub, careful not to get her wounded ankle wet, and sank down into bliss. For a minute, she lay there submerged with her eyes closed, breathing in the floral-scented water.

The door opened again and Cam came in with a couple glasses of wine. “Takeout’s in the oven keeping warm. Thought I’d bring some wine in and get our party started.”

“Oh, this is perfect. Thanks,” Michelle said, taking the glass. She took a sip, savoring a hint of peach.

“You want the lights dimmed?” Cam said. “It’s a bit bright, don’t you think?”

Michelle shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

A moment later, the room was lit in a soft yellow glow. “So, how’s the water?” she said, taking a seat on the toilet next to the tub.

“Heavenly.”

Cam sipped her wine and ran her finger through the water. “It is nice. Think I’ll be taking one later myself.” She was quiet a moment, as if debating something. Finally, she said, “You making out okay financially?”

“Yeah,” Michelle said. “I’m okay.” She looked at her best friend who was sipping her wine. Cam had been on her own since forever. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“You ever get lonely?”

Cam shrugged. “On occasion.”

They were both silent a moment as Nora Jones’s voice floated out from the other room. Finally, Cam said, “It gets easier with time.”

But Michelle wasn’t so sure it would ever get easier for her. Yet, she couldn’t see herself with anyone else but Adam. “I guess.”

Cam tilted her head and peered down at her. “It’s not easy for you, I know.” She looked away a moment. “I miss him, too.”

“I know.”

Cam turned back. “You need to get out there again. It’s been two years, ‘Chelle. I know how much you loved my brother, but he’s gone.”

“I know, I know.” Michelle sighed. “But I wouldn’t know where to start, and to be honest, I’m not ready.”

Cam pursed her lips. “You keep telling yourself that and you’ll end up alone.” She paused. “You might not believe this, but it’s possible to fall in love again. All you have to do is make yourself available. They can’t find you if you’re hiding in your house all the time.”

Michelle frowned. “I get out.”

“Yeah, when I drag you.”

Michelle looked away. She couldn’t argue with that. But a parade of men running through her life? She didn’t think so. It wasn’t who she was, or ever had been. She turned back. “I’m not a bar hopper like you.”

“Who says I’m a bar hopper?” Cam said. “I go out with friends. Have a good time. Sometimes, I meet someone. See where it goes.”

“Sometimes?” Michelle said and smiled.

“Okay, a lot of times. Point is, I put myself out there.”

Michelle thought about putting herself out there. She was no Cam, didn’t have the long legs and curves, the attributes that summoned men effortlessly. She forced a smile. “I’ll think about it.”