Bejewelled

Ch 5

Cinda watched as Gabe yanked off his helmet, his hair was a little longer than she remembered it used to be and he hadn’t shaved, straight out of bed, she guessed, but he’d always looked good like that. Gabe was so darn handsome that it actually hurt to just look at him sitting there in his jeans and leather jacket, his chest looked broader too. Worked out more, she supposed.

She watched him swing a strong muscular leg over his bike and get off, stride over to her, his jaw was ticking, and Cinda had to steel herself against those muscles and those deep dark blue eyes of his. Just remember what he did to you, she told herself, and let all that old anger boil back to the surface, hardening her as it always could.

Gabe stopped only a metre away and Cinda knew it was time to face him. She took her helmet off and put it on the handlebar and then on purpose ran her hands through her long dark hair, and splayed it all about her. She knew she was pretty, all the men told her so. She did all this before looking up at him, before turning her brilliant green eyes upon him, they were undoubtedly her best feature, they sparkled like jewels and she knew it.

She turned her green eyes directly on him and her hard, indifferent look matched his easily. This was one man that she was not afraid of, would never be afraid of, not in a million years, no matter how intimidating he was trying to be. Could be hurt by him emotionally but never physically. Had built up walls around this man. Had to for self-preservation.

He just stood there staring at her, his eyes moved over her face, taking her in, lingered for a moment on her red lips. She was wearing full make-up today. Her full lips were blood red, she was out to distract him, didn’t know how well it would work, but had thought she’d better try. Considering all the laws she’d broken last night and this morning, besides, she knew it would irk him to have to see her, even prettier than normal. His eyes lingered on her lips for a good 10 seconds, and then it was on.

“What the hell do you think you were and are doing? You could have gotten yourself or someone else killed? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Cinda raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and nearly laughed, so this wasn’t Gabe as a police officer, it was Gabe doing the big brother act. “I was just having a little fun,” she smiled, allowing the anger to flow out of her “You do remember what that is, don’t you?”

“It’s not fun when you’re breaking the law, Lucinda.” He snapped, running a hand through his hair. Couldn’t see it through his jacket, but knew that all those muscles would have rippled with the movement.

Cinda laughed softly “Oh come now, you started this little escapade into the bush and why is that, I wonder?”

A disapproving frown marred his handsome face as he looked down at her, folded his arms across his chest, making him look even more imposing, but he said nothing, and Cinda knew why that was.

“Because Gabriel, you wanted this. A little fun! A bike chase and a private strip down.” And she couldn’t but help throw double meaning into everything she said, and it certainly wasn’t lost on him either.

His jaw was ticking yet again, and his blue eyes glowered with anger. “I should bloody well arrest you Lucinda and you know it.” He snapped.

“So do it.” She dared him tilting her chin defiantly. Knew that he wouldn’t, didn’t want to disappoint his mother.

Again, he said nothing, just stood there staring at her, then he turned on his heel and strode back to his bike and for a moment Cinda actually thought that he was going to arrest her.

But then he turned and stalked back to her, his anger for all the world to see. “God damn it, Lucinda.” He shouted, pointing a finger at her. “It would kill mother if I did and you know it, this is the only warning that you will get, next time I will arrest you regardless. Do you understand me?” He grated out.

And when she just sat there and stared up at him, he took another step closer, his finger right in her face now.

He had the hide to play the big brother card with her, when all her life, what she remembered of it anyhow, he had always made sure everyone in this town knew that she was not his sister. He had never once acknowledged her as family, not until that eventful day anyway. A day that had hurt like hell, a day that was branded into her very soul.

Cinda had the crazy urge to lick his finger all seductive like just to remind him that she was not his little sister, not his flesh and blood and certainly not a child anymore. But instead, she just dropped her eyes from him for a moment and when she looked back up at him, she was all petulant and upset. Pouted her full red lips and turned her big green eyes up to him now thick and lush with mascara, all apologetically, ‘you want to play the big brother card!’ she thought angrily, well I will remind you of what you are not, she thought “yes big brother.” She said in her most ashamed voice.

She heard his gasp of horror, and the second she heard that, she sneered right up at him, for he hadn’t even realised until that moment, that he’d been playing the big brother card. He turned and stormed back to his bike, kicked it over and roared off out of there, no longer angry with her, but with himself instead, and she knew it.

Cinda watched him go, her lips trembled a little, as she tried not to laugh, but then there was also an ache pulling inside of her heart at the same time, he’d always left her. He might have saved her life once, 12 years ago, but no more was he her handsome prince, handsome? Hell yes. Prince? Well, never to be hers.

No matter how much she tried to ignore it, she knew that pain would live with her forever, deep down on the inside, hell even getting married and being happy for a while, hadn’t stopped her aching where he was concerned. It was likely nothing ever would. He was the first man she’d ever loved. Not that he had ever been hers, not even for a second, and he’d made sure she knew that.

She sighed, pulled her hair up into a bun and pulled her helmet on, turned the engine over and headed back down the track, though at a much safer speed. It was only a few hundred metres to the tarred road and as she sat waiting for a gap in the traffic, she could hear his dirt bike in the distance out in the bush behind her.

Revving to the hilt, he wasn’t yet ready to come back and join civilisation. Cinda had wanted to tick him off and she had managed it, easily so, it appeared, without really trying at all, just took her calling him, big brother.

Cinda turned and headed for Lori and Dan’s place, she hadn’t intended on stopping in today, but now that half the police force knew she was here, it was bound to reach Lori and she wasn’t going to hurt her intentionally. She had managed to come 6 weeks ago and sign the paperwork and leave without anyone knowing she was there at all.

She’d spoken with Lori a couple of weeks before and found out that none of the boys were going to be there, going on some camping trip, so she’d arranged to sign the paperwork then. In and out, and no one the wiser.

The woman had been a good kind and loving mother to her for the four years that she had stayed with them. Heck, they had pretty much adopted her as their own. They’d given her their last name seeing as she couldn’t recall her own, when she’d come to in the hospital.

Cinda pulled into the driveway and got off her bike, looked down at her leathers and saw the mud, headed for the front garden hose and washed it off before going up and knocking on the open door. She turned the handle and called out “Mum?” as she stepped inside.

This was the place she had lived since she’d woke up in the hospital at 14 with no memory, the doctors had told her that other from suffering from exposure and having a few scratches, she’d likely hit her head pretty hard somewhere along the way, though they couldn’t find any evidence of a head trauma, that it was likely she was suffering from dissociative amnesia and that she might or might not regain her memory with time.

The police had informed her that no-one had reported her missing and her image and fingerprints or DNA all brought up nothing, very unusual, it was as though she had appeared out of thin air, Jane Doe they’d called her.

Leaving the hospital, a week later, she was placed with in a local foster family, the Matthews, she had been told it had been their son Gabriel who had found her lying out there in the middle of the bush on that rainy day. That he had carried her to safety, and they had or rather, Lori Matthews had declared that the girl would go home with them, seeing as they had previously fostered children, it was allowed.

They applied for foster custody and had been approved in record time due to the police Senior Sergeant vouching for the family and their past record in fostering other children, or something like that. Though they hadn’t had a foster child in 5 years, she was placed with them and that was where she had stayed. She’d picked the name Lucinda for herself, but everyone had called her Cinda for short, and their last name had become her last name, Matthews.

There was no lack of attention from her foster parents, especially Lori her foster mum, who had always wanted a daughter but couldn’t have any more children due to complications with Gabe’s birth and now she had one, and was clearly happy about it. It was a nice memory, her first real memories.

Cinda heard hurried footsteps coming from the back of the house and then Lori, in all her five-foot glory, stood there looking up at her with the biggest smile on her face, “Sweetheart your home.” She half laughed, half cried as she pulled her in for a big hug. Then pushed her back and stared at her in that motherly way “And just where have you been, young lady?”

“Busy with work as always.” Cinda smiled. “Sorry I know it’s been a little while.”

“A little while? I’d hate to see what you think is a long while then.” But then her smile returned, and she tugged Cinda into the lounge room, “Sit sit, I’ll make the tea.”

“Thanks.” She smiled as Lori hurried off, Cinda stood to look at the photos on the mantle, Gabe at his police graduation, Gabe and his three closest friends; Manny, Grey and Johnny all in their uniforms, Lori and Dan on their wedding day, Cinda at her University graduation, they had been there for that and taken their own photos but she had professional photos taken on the day as did many students, a service provided by the University, she’d sent that picture herself.

Then there was a photo of Cinda sitting on Gabe’s old dirt bike, covered from head to toe in mud, with Gabe standing there yelling at her for borrowing it, without asking. But she was still grinning in the photo.

It was probably the only picture of the two of them together. She’d been almost 16 then and he’d called in for a surprise visit, to find his dirt bike missing and when she’d come home, he’d let her have it, over her taking it without his permission.

It hadn’t concerned him that his father had given permission for her to use it that day, and it had not been the first time she’d ridden it, but it had been the first time she’d come home completely covered in mud. She’d had a great time hooning around on the bike that day, she’d felt free and alive and nothing, not even Gabe yelling at her like he had, could have wiped the grin off her face.

“I like that one too,” Lori said as she came back into the room.

Cinda smiled, it was a good picture. Heck, she could have just about snapped the same photo today without all the mud of course, “that was a good day.” She nodded as the memory lingered with her.

Lori sat and so did Cinda, it was only then that Lori saw the wedding band on her finger. “My goodness, what? When? How, you never said.”

Cinda smiled a little sadly. “I’m sorry, it was a little over two years ago now.” She said, sadness touching her words, “James his name was.” She said touching the gold band she really did miss him a lot.

“Was?” Lori asked, a little horrified.

“He died a little while back” Cinda nodded, able to say those words without shedding a tear now, though the pain of it still lingered some days more than others.

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry...I’d have liked to have met him though.”

Cinda smiled apologetically at her foster mother; it had been her choice not to tell them. Not to invite them, but it did surprise her that she hadn’t heard on the grape vine.

After all Grey and Johnny had known about it, Grey and Johnny also knew that James had died as well. Grey had been the one to inform her of the accident and then drive her to the hospital to see her dying husband. He’d stayed with her the whole time, in fact.

It had happened right before Grey had gotten his transfer request approved to come back home, if she remembered correctly. There was only Johnny left to come home now and their pact would be complete. Their pact to come home and protect the town they’d grown up in.

“Sweetie, why didn’t you call?”

Right at that moment, the front door opened and in walked the very reason she’d never called, never come home, Lori’s devastatingly handsome son. Cinda swallowed hard as she locked eyes with him, her right hand covered her left out of instinct. She had wanted to sit here and talk to Lori about all that had transpired in the years, she’d been away. Explain the reason behind her not inviting anyone she knew to her wedding, but now she couldn’t, it was too hard with him standing right there, so perhaps another time.

He frowned at her and took a hesitant step towards her, and Cinda suddenly realised she must look completely miserable, her grief in plain view for anyone to see and reined in her emotions, quickly. He’d never been able to stop himself from coming to her if she was upset. Cinda put her cup down. “I should be going.” She moved her eyes back to Lori, smiled sadly at her.

“No, you just got here.”

“Yes, I know, and the law has just walked in the door to arrest me.” She said, pulling herself together and standing up.

“Gabriel would never.” Lori gasped, shooting a horrified look at her son.

“I should be getting back to the city anyhow.” She nodded, she was actually headed back that way today, should have left an hour ago in fact. “I was only here on a quick business trip.”

“Cinda please, your father will want to see you too.”

Cinda saw Gabe flinch at the word father but ignored it. “Sorry, next time I promise.” She said and walked out of the room.

“Don’t leave on my account.” Gabe said somewhat smugly, knowing full well that he was the reason, she was so eager to leave.

“Stop her.” She heard Lori tell him as she hurried after Cinda.

“No.” He said simply.

It hurt her to hear him say it, he’d always been the one to come after her and bring her back home, but no more it seemed, and that twisted in her heart like a knife, but she wouldn’t let it show, not to him, she couldn’t. Had let her guard down with him just once and been broken by him. Shattered more like it. Nothing had been the same between them since that night.

It was unlikely it ever would be, he might care on some level that she was hurt, but not enough to do anything about it. Not really. Their lives were very separate now, very different. They both tried to just stay away from each other. It was for the best and she knew it. Didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt each and every time she had to see him, speak with him or even think about him for that matter.

She had moved away and on with her life and so had he.

This is how it would stay, she always imagined. The tension was unlikely to ever leave them. They both knew it. Had to live with it every damned day. Though deep down its not what she really wanted.