Bejewelled

Ch7

Cinda sat in the hospital room, tears were falling silently down her face now, there were no racking sobs anymore. Just silent tears as she watched her only real family member be wheeled out of the room under a crisp white sheet.

She had received the call halfway back to the city, that James’s father, Peter, had had a heart attack and it wasn’t looking like he wasn’t going to make it. She had gunned the bike's engine and rode like a demon to get there in time. To try and see him one last time before he was gone. She’d not made it in time. He’d passed away several hours before she’d gotten to the hospital. Not long after she'd taken the call.

Now Cinda sat in the hospital room and knew she had no-one left, they’d all left her, James a year and a bit ago, and now his father, a man who had called her his daughter himself, liked her and she had liked him as a father in-law, now she sat there in the room all alone and a part of her was not sad or upset, a part of her was just hating them all for it. For leaving her all alone.

The last time she’d been in this very hospital it had been to watch her husband die, that had been a terrible day, to see him alive but so badly broken, knowing he wasn’t going to make it. The doctors had already told her, before she'd walked into the hospital room that they had done all they could. It was just a matter of time.

To hear James tell her he loved her and didn’t want her to be alone, that he wanted her to move on with her life. To have that family they’d been going to start that year. He knew he was going to die, everyone did, including her.

Cinda had sat there and listened to him struggle to talk, could hear the wheeze in his voice, the way he was trying to breathe in so he could talk to her, she had wanted to tell him not to waste his energy to rest, selfish of her to want even just a few more minutes with him. She had promised him she would do as he said. Held his hand in both of hers, watched as he’d closed his eyes and sat by his bed as unconsciousness had finally claimed him. Sat with him and watched his breathing get less and less, as his life had ebbed away from him, till it was gone completely.

Pete, she knew, had come in at some point but her eyes had never left James, not until his breathing had stopped. She didn’t even know she hadn’t stopped crying the whole time. That her tears had poured out of her silently at the end. Not until Grey had taken her in his arms and hugged her gently to him, could she feel how wet her shirt had been.

That had been a horrible night, the worst night of her adult life. It had taken James two hours to stop breathing and pass from this life to the next. She’d not wanted to let his hand go even after he had passed. Now here she was again in that very same hospital, just a different room with different doctors and no one here to hug her for support.

How a small tiny part of her still hated James for leaving her all alone, and now she was even more alone. Felt completely and utterly numb right this minute as she sat there in the empty room, and wondered what was here for her in the city anymore? Just a job, that was all. Something she could do from anywhere. She often travelled for work, had remote access even so she could work from anywhere when it was needed.

Peter had been so good to her; he’d loved his daughter-in-law. Told her on many occasions he’d never seen his son so happy. That she was James’ whole world, and that he could never have asked for a better woman for his son or daughter for himself.

And now he too had gone and left her, only this time there was no-one for her to lean on. To cry on, they were all gone. James had been an only child and his mother had passed before she’d met him.

Grey had been here for her the last time, he had held her up when she couldn’t stand any longer and hugged her till, she’d pulled herself together, but this time it was only her, there was no support. Johnny was here but she wasn’t all that close to him. Wasn’t comfortable with calling him, knew him well enough to have a joke with but not well enough to call up and ask for emotional support.

The nurse asked her if she was alright. Cinda nodded numbly, yeah sure she was alright, what a stupid question. She knew the woman was just doing her job and trying to offer some form of support, but was a complete stranger until twenty minutes ago. How could she be alright with the death of a loved one? No one could so soon after the news.

Cinda stood up after another minute in the room by herself, thanked the nursing staff for taking care of Peter in his final moments. They had assured her he had not suffered and was unconscious at the end. This did not really help her, but it was nice to hear, perhaps when she was feeling better, she could take comfort from that knowledge, but not right this minute.

What Cinda didn’t understand, was why when she found love and happiness, something always seemed to come along and destroy it and take it away from her. Was there someone out to their ruining her life? and if so, why would they? What had she ever done to them to deserve that?

Or was it just her fate to be alone? To have no real family? She had no memories prior to waking up at 14, no-one lost her, no-one reported her missing, it seemed she was of no-one's real concern, had no real family out there and if she did they did not look for her. Perhaps they just didn’t care for her. So here she was alone, and maybe that was her fate. To always feel alone and never have anyone to love her and be her real family.

She rode to her apartment in a blur of tears, unsure how she made it in one piece, on auto pilot she figured as she walked into her apartment and just stood there staring at the emptiness that was her life. Had lived alone for a year in this apartment now.

It had been her boss, William, who’d tracked her down and told her the terrible news. Only her work mobile was charged, her personal one was flat, the hospital had called her office to try and track her down as Peter’s next of kin.

William had told her she wasn’t required to come in to work the next few days, not that she would want to anyway. She was going to have to organise another funeral, not something she wanted to do, but it was a must. She would use the same people who had buried James.

Cinda pulled out her mobile and plugged it in to the wall next to her, then just turned and slid down that wall and just sat there on the floor by the hall table, never having made it more than two feet passed the front door, turned her phone on and waited for it light up, before she scrolled down the list of names, hesitated for only a moment as the words blue eyes, appeared as the first contact inside her phone, but she couldn’t call him, not ever. Not when she was like this.

Scrolled on past till the words Grey Hill formed on the screen, she hit dial. She could call Grey in her time of need. He would be there for her, surely, they were still close.

He had been here for her once before, perhaps he would be again. They may have dated and not worked out, but it had not ended on bad terms, they were still friends, they’d not even gotten to the stage where they’d had s*x. Their relationship ended long before that.

He’d wanted to, but she had known she was just using him to hurt Gabe in the end, and it was wrong, so she had put a stop to it, so Grey wouldn’t get hurt. He’d not been in love with her at the time, just liked her a lot, she supposed, lusted after her. He wasn’t the first man to do so.

Though he was the only one of Gabe’s friends to actually lay his hands on her or his lips for that matter. Likely none of them thought it was a good idea. She was, after all, his little foster sister. Cinda sighed. Perhaps she should just have let it happen. She shook her head 'no', even then she knew it wasn’t right.

But she and Grey had still remained good friends, he’d not really looked at her like that since the day she’d pulled away from him, shook her head and apologised to him and told him she just couldn’t, it wasn’t right. He’d seemed a little confused at the time.

But then he had just nodded slowly and told her that he understood, but she knew he didn’t not then, not really. There was no way he could understand why she had ended it. Not the real reason, anyway. No-one had known about her and Gabe’s moment, how her heart was broken by him. She’d never told anyone and had left the very first moment she could afterwards. To get the hell away from him, to try and pick up the pieces, to get over him.

Figured she was just being young and stupid, a teenage crush that had likely gotten out of hand, she had been only 18. What else could it have been? It was all it should have been, a stupid crush, but still, even all these years later, it hurt. Would likely never not hurt. She hated Gabe for that.

Hated herself too, for somehow never being able to just let it go, to get over him. Should have been able to, but just couldn’t seem to manage it at all. Even getting married hadn’t helped. Closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall and waited for Grey to answer his phone.

Already the tears were falling down her face once more, there was likely no stopping them now she was home and alone, no one to see her pain and grief go unchecked. was free to be sad without judgement.