A disapointment

1948 Words
PROLOGUE “For what you have done to me and for who I have become because of loving you, you will never know peace. In every life, you live, I will be there to torment you and steal your joy just like you have stolen mine. The moment you think you are finding peace, I will be there to steal it from right under your peace. Because you have left me for her and because you have loved her more than me, you will never know what it's like to be touched by your mate, she will never know what it's like to be touched by you. In every lifetime you will search for her and she will search for you and find each other. You will, but only to lose each other in the end. It will be so until I find a way to kill you and rid myself of this weakness that you have given me.” ANDREW’S POV At age 25, I had only managed to turn once and, as a prince, this was embarrassing. It was viewed as some kind of weakness and I hated myself for it. I felt like it was a sign that I possessed some kind of weakness and I also felt like every other wolf that was my age was laughing at me. Although I had no power over my turning, I still felt like I had let my father down in a big way. He had such big dreams for me as the next king, but now I was starting to feel like I was going to be the worst king that all of Wolfland had ever had. I did everything that I was advised to do and ate everything that I was supposed to eat to help me get my wolf and yet none of those things worked. Even though my father never openly told me about his disappointment in me, I knew deep in my heart that he was very disappointed. my father was not one that easily showed his emotions but I knew what his silence meant, it meant that he was close to giving up on me and I feared that my shortcomings would end up costing the family the throne. The only thing that was good in my life at this point was the fact that I had my mate, Dahlia. She was my strength in all of this and she had been the reason why had remained sane through this difficult time. She was the most beautiful wolf that I had ever met in my life and she completed me. One thing that made us connect on a deeper level was the fact that she also hadn't been able to turn, so we were both wolfless, although in my case my wolf had shown up and stuck around for a few days only to disappear right after that. It was this fact that made me and Dahlia grow closer with every moment that we spent together and for the first time in my life, I could understand what everyone else meant when they said that they saw love in their mate’s eyes. Dahlia had chosen to look past the fact that I didn't have a wolf, I knew that most mates would be embarrassed about that but she didn't seem to have an issue with it. Dahlia had always tried her best to make sure that I didn't feel inadequate because I didn't have a wolf. I had always admired the way my mother supported my father through the difficult tile and I often prayed that I would one day get a mate of my own who would love me the way she loved my father. My parents didn’t know about Dahlia because I wasn’t even supposed to be in a relationship with her, to begin with. According to our pack customs, every wolf was supposed to meet and show their mates on the night of the mating ball and that was when their mate bond would be made official and they would get to parade their other half in front of the whole pack. That was what I couldn’t wait for. The fact that my parents didn't know that I had already found my mate meant that they were under the impression that I had failed at everything that was expected of me. I couldn't tell them about her because my other fear was that they would reject her and insist that I had made a mistake since I didn't have a wolf. A wolf was supposed to be the one who would help one find his or her mate, but I had found Dahlia without a wolf and although my father would probably disagree with the conclusion that I had come to, I knew that my wolf had helped me find Dahlia and ghat gave me hope that I would turn again soon. Dahlia didn’t seem keen on meeting my parents and I assumed that was just because she was nervous, but she promised me that she would come on the day of the mating ball. Dhalia and I were not from the same pack but our packs were close enough and marriages between the two packs were allowed. I just felt like she was worried for nothing, my parents were not going to have a choice but to accept her because she was the one that the moon goddess had chosen for me. it wasn't like if they rejected her, they could find me another mate. I was confident that they would learn to accept her the moment I introduced her to them. Dahlia was the only woman that could understand me and I felt like the moon goddess chose her for me knowing that the only person that could understand my predicament was someone who was in the same situation as me. “So my love, are you still coming to the mating ball tomorrow night?” I asked her and she smiled nervously. I knew that this was something that she probably didn't even want to talk about but we had to discuss this. “Yes, but is it really necessary for me to be there? I mean you already know that I am your mate, so I don’t see why it's important for us to let everyone else know” she said nervously. ”It’s not about everyone else but my father and my mother. Do you remember I already told you that he was disappointed in me because of the wolf thing? I am sure you can understand that. I mean we both know how important it is for a wolf to turn for the first time and to keep that wolf”, I said and she nodded, but I could see that she was still uncomfortable with that. "This is the only thing that will make them accept you" I emphasized ”Come on, just say you will come and I will ask my mother’s tailor to make a pretty dress for you,” I said, and she raised an eyebrow. Dhalia hated anything that was labeled with the word pretty because, for some reason, she was convinced that being lady-like was a weakness. “ Fine” she groaned, “but I am only agreeing to this because I know you won't let it go if I don’t. I just don’t like big crowds and I have heard that mating balls are always packed”, she added. “It will be so much fun I promise,” I said kissing her “but haven't you ever been to a mating ball?” I asked her because, at her age, she should have been to thousands of them already, especially since we had only found each other recently. As a female wolf Dahlia was expected to attend every mating ball there was so that she could increase her chances of finding her mate and this was supposed to happen from the moment she turned sixteen. I couldn’t understand how she had made it to twenty-four years without having attended a mating ball. she was a little too old to be clueless about mating balls but I wasn't going to judge her for that. I knew that after some time of not finding your mate, these mating balls could get daunting and feel like a chore that one wouldn't want to do. ”Oh, I have never liked those things and I have never really cared about them,” she said “I feel like they are too much work and they make female wolves look desperate for love”, she added. “Oh you are one of a kind, my love,” I said. “And that is why you love me,” she said as she came closer for a kiss and I planted a passionate one on her lips. I couldn’t wait for the mating ball because it was going to move the attention of the pack from me being wolfless to me having a mate and maybe that would stop them from gossiping about me at every chance they got. I often pretended as if I didn’t hear what they were saying, but I knew that they laughed at me because I had no wolf. What made things worse for me was the fact that they would even go for some small battles without me all because I didn’t have a wolf. My father would say it was too dangerous for the prince to be out and about with no wolf especially because of all the enemies that he had. However, I knew that he was only saying that because he didn’t want me to embarrass him in front of his friends, and that just made me feel worse about my entire situation. I was an embarrassment to my father and even though my mother tried her best to convince me that I was reading too much into things and that my father couldn't be embarrassed by me but I knew that she was just trying to make me feel better. She knew as well as I did that my wolf situation was very unusual, she knew that people were talking about us out there and that our whole family was the talk of not only the entire town but also all of the wolf land. I just desperately wanted things to be different for me this year so that I could give my father one thing to celebrate. Tomorrow would hopefully change all that and they would at least realize that I wasn’t a failure in all things. They would see that I had found my wolf even though I didn’t have a wolf. Most wolves depended on our wolf senses (which were stronger for someone who had a wolf) to sniff out our mates and yet I hadn’t struggled much with mine. Dahlia was the one who found me when I needed her the most. At first, that made me feel bad and weak but I realized that there was no rule in the mating that said the only way to find a mate was if the male found her first. If Dahlia and I hadn't found each other I have no idea what I would have done when the time for the ball came. I felt like all eyes were on me and I was expected to show them something this time. I didn't have a wolf yet so the least I could do was walk in with a mate in my arm. I needed Dahlia to understand how important all this was to me.
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