how I got here

Waking up in my new home to the beautiful site of my mecerdes, a thought hits me and lives me in awe. So my whole career I have wanted one thing and one thing only that is, in whatever I do I must be successful. Don't get me wrong, the mansion and the Benz are well appreciated but it's the emptiness within that bothers me. Most people think of me as the bembas would say a "kandile" but I never really saw it myself for we all are blind to our weaknesses. A thing I always convinced myself my whole life was a statement I was told by a businessman who I looked up to and that was that, for as long as your conscience convinces you that you are clean for sure you will be clean. The only thing I regret he didn't mention was that, what you feed your subconscious mind, be it good or bad thoughts,it will surely manifest into reality. They had been events that have happened to me that I didn't fully understand and yet the curiousity in me was never tended to not until I had found a keen Interest in reading novels about the mind and how it works.