5_It's Gone
1612 Words
Ariella POV
Slowly, I open my eyes. For a split second, I have no idea where I am and look around bewildered.
“It’s okay,” Cole says hastily, pushing against my shoulders when I try to get up. “You’re safe.”
“Where am I?” I groan and close my eyes. The last I remember was pretty boy Preston talking to Cole before black spots clouded my vision and I started to feel dizzy. Now, my entire body aches with my head being the worst.
“You fainted,” he gently sits next to me on the bed. “You’re in the clinic. The doctor will be here any second to examine you. He’s good, I think you’ll like him.”
“Is he a doctor or a veterinarian?” I ask.
“What?” Cole frowns.
“You know, you’re wolves,” I shrug.
“Our anatomy is exactly the same as yours,” he chuckles. “We’re simply stronger and faster.”
“And occasionally turns into an animal,” I add.
Before Cole can respond, the door opens and a man with grey hair and a white coat enters.
“Good evening, Alpha,” he briefly pages through a file without looking up. “I understand we have an unconscious Jane Joe.”
“Not so unconscious anymore,” I reply, and the doctor looks at me in surprise. “But my head is murdering me.”
“I’m Doctor Mayer,” he smiles and approaches me. “Please to meet you. And you are?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “I can’t remember anything.”
“Amnesia?” He frowns. “Can you tell me where it hurts?”
“Everywhere,” I grunt, and Cole helps me to sit up straight. “But my back and head are the worst.”
“Hmm,” he inspects the cut on my head, and Cole smiles gently at me when he takes a stand in the corner. “It’s not deep, you’re not even going to need stitches. But with memory loss, I’m not ruling out a concussion or a brain bleed. I’ll arrange for a CT scan. How did this happen?”
“I was tossed into a tree by a vampire,” I reply as he checks my pupils.
“Ouch,” he pulls a face and pulls out his stethoscope. “I’m surprised you’re not complaining about broken bones or ribs.”
“Everything hurts, but nothing feels broken,” I reply as he listens to my heart.
“So, no pain when you’re breathing?” He asks.
“No,” I shake my head. “And I felt no pain when we walked here. I just feel stiff and sore all over and my head wants to explode.”
“Pain and stiffness after being thrown into a tree is to be expected, and you might notice some bruises,” Mayer explains. “That will go away. A CT scan won’t help us figure out the amnesia, but I’m still going to do it to check for a brain bleed. You’ll need to go to a hospital with the equipment for a functional MRI or …”
“No,” I cut him off.
“What?” Cole and Mayer ask in unison.
“I don’t know if I want to remember,” I admit. “If it’s not going to kill me, we don’t treat it.”
“But …”
“I said no,” I say firmly when Mayer wants to argue. “Let’s be honest. Waking up naked in the woods isn’t the start of a feel-good fairy tale. It’s the happy ending of a horror story. What if this memory loss is my mind’s way of protecting me against something terrible? Something I want to forget. I know it sounds glass half empty, but I’m not risking it. Besides, I don’t have money to pay for this visit, let alone more expensive scans. End of discussion.”
Doctor Mayer sighs heavily and looks at Cole. Cole nods lightly and Mayer turns back to me.
“Okay,” he clears his throat. “I’m going to listen to your lungs and then the CT scan. If that’s clear, you can go home.”
Home … the word makes my stomach turn. But I meant what I said, and I am not changing my mind. If I was locked up in a basement or laboratory where I was experimented on, I do not want to remember it. No way would I have ended up in the woods if I had a happy life and a family or friends.
Doctor Mayer stands by my side, pulling the gown open at the back and moving closer with the stethoscope.
“Dear goddess,” he gasps and opens the gown wider to expose my shoulder blades. “What happened here?”
Cole immediately comes closer to have a look.
“I told you, a tree,” I say irritated. Mayer cannot be a good doctor if I have to repeat myself.
“That is not the work of a tree,” he grunts. “These wounds are recent but healed.”
“What wounds?” I snap. It is not like I can see my back.
“Two identical lines from each shoulder blade approximately ten inches down,” he describes. “It’s still pink and swollen. Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”
“It’s more irritating than painful,” I reply as I move my shoulders. “See, that’s why I don’t want to remember. This doesn’t predict anything good.”
“It looks surgical,” he mumbles and touches one of the scars.
The moment he touches it, an intense feeling of loss overpowers me. It is so profound, so intense that I start weeping - loud and ugly weeping.
“Did I hurt you?” Mayer asks quickly and puts his hand on my shoulder.
“N … no,” I sniff and remove his hand. “Jus … just g … go.”
I curl into a bundle on the examination bed and close my eyes as the dark, heavy blanket of emptiness and loss engulfs me. I do not understand it and I do not know why, but I need to grieve.
“Give us a moment,” Cole’s voice is stern and somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear the doctor leave and close the door behind him.
“What’s wrong?” Cole asks gently as he picks me up and cradles me against his chest.
The moment our skin touches, I calm down a little, but the tears keep coming.
“I don’t … I can’t …,” I cry as I throw my arms around his neck and push closer to him. I cannot explain it, but his touch soothes my soul.
“I lost it,” I continue crying. “It’s gone.”
“What is?” His voice is soft and calming as he strokes my hair.
“I … I don’t know,” I sob. “But I f … feel it. The loss, I can feel it.”
I keep on weeping as I fight the overpowering feeling of emptiness, of being broken. Not one of the physical wounds the vampire inflicted comes close to the emotional turmoil I am battling at this very moment.
Cole POV
I hold her closer to me while she cries. I wish I knew how to make things better for her. I do not know what she has lost, but I can feel her pain and it is ripping my heart out.
The last time I saw someone this heartbroken, was my mother when my little brother died. And I was as helpless then as I am now. Whatever – or whomever – she lost, meant everything to her.
“I’m so sorry you’re feeling this,” I mumble and softly kiss her on the top of her head.
The moment my lips touch her skin, she freezes in my arms.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, I want to kick myself. I was not thinking, I just reacted. I wanted to comfort her. “I didn’t mean to …”
“No,” her voice is hoarse from crying, and she looks up at me.
“It helped,” she whispers and lays her palm against my cheek.
Mesmerized, I look at her. Even with her eyes red and her face puffy from the tears, she is exquisite. I am too afraid to move or breathe, I do not want to break this magical moment where she looks at me with complete trust.
Slowly, she leans forward, and pure happiness explodes within me when our lips touch. She kisses me tenderly and slowly and it takes all my self-control not to deepen the kiss. Not to crush her against my chest and claim her as my mate.
But I would be a fool to read anything into the kiss. She is seeking comfort, nothing more. The thought is a jab into my heart and reluctantly I pull away.
She looks at me in a haze before she lowers her gaze.
“I’m sorry, I …”
“Don’t be,” I cut her off softly and kiss her forehead.
“Are you feeling better?” I pull her closer and revel in her scent for just a moment before she slides off my lap.
“Yes, thank you,” she clears her throat.
“Good, then I’ll call Mayer back in,” I smile and stand up.
- Writer
