In the Name of Love

Chapter 4-2

“Why not?” Merrick replied. “It’s as good a profession as any. All right, that didn’t sound too good. I majored in business, because my father wanted me to do something useful with my life.”

“What did you want to major in?”

“That was the problem,” Merrick replied, wryly. “I didn’t know. There was nothing that excited me. I’m afraid I was a bit of a dilettante. The result of growing up with parents who was more interested in partying and having their names in the society columns than in their only child.”

“But you just said your father wanted you to make something of your life.”

“He did, because it would make him look good.”

“Damn.” Ryan shook his head. “So you took your major and parlayed it into running an advertising agency.”

“Yep. I like being able to influence people and what better way to do it than to tell them what products they should like, which is all advertising is, Ryan. Convincing the buyer one brand of soap, or car, or what have you is better than all the others.”

“A rather cynical point of view, but I suppose it’s the truth.”

“Believe me, it is.”

They stopped talking at that point to finish eating. As they did, Merrick wondered how much of what he’d told him Ryan believed. It’s not as if I lied…much. I only shaded the truth to make him feel sorry for me. The poor rich guy who needs someone to care about him. He caught Ryan glancing at him once or twice, and read sympathy in his gaze. Looks like it worked. I guess I’ll find out, although I’m not pushing things. He has to believe it was as much his choice as mine when we finally get together as more than friends.

Once dinner was over, Merrick started to clear the table. Ryan insisted on helping. “I’m not going to sit around like some hoity-toity guest,” he said, bringing a smile to Merrick’s lips.

Then, with the table free, Ryan laid out the preliminary drawings for Merrick to look at. There were four in all, two done in pencil, two with charcoal. Merrick was impressed with all of them, but then he’d expected he would be. One in particular drew him in. It was a three-quarter view, done in charcoal. The shading emphasized his deep-set eyes and made his lips seem particularly sensual. Is that how he sees me…as passionate and sexy?

The problem was, it wasn’t the type of picture a son would want to give to his mother, and that had been Merrick’s stated reason for hiring Ryan to create a portrait.

“This one,” he said, tapping the corner of a much less intense drawing. “Mother will love it.”

“If you say so,” Ryan replied, but he sounded doubtful.

“You don’t agree?”

“It’s—They’re all missing something. I mean, they’re obviously you, but…it’s hard to explain.”

“Try,” Merrick replied, placing one hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if this makes sense, but I don’t know you well enough to capture what makes you Merrick, and not just any man. Does that make sense?”

Merrick kept his elation well buried as he replied, “It makes perfect sense to me. Being able to capture every nuance is what separates the average artist from the exceptional one.”

Ryan’s shoulders slumped. “And I’m just average.”

“No.” Merrick gripped his shoulder now, urging Ryan to turn and look at him. “The fact that you realize you need to know the subject very well to do a portrait justice says you are above average, to my way of looking at it.” He smiled when Ryan seemed relieved. “Thankfully, Mother’s birthday isn’t for another month. It will give you time to learn me inside out.”

Ryan’s eyes widened in surprise, and then narrowed as the implication of what Merrick had said sank in. “Exactly how do you mean that?” he asked, taking a step back.

“Not the way you seem to be taking it,” Merrick replied. “You’re a nice young man, but I have no intention of seducing you.”

“Oh.” Ryan looked as if he wasn’t certain if he liked the idea, or not.

Merrick quickly decided not to probe. Let him think about it. The more he does, the more likely it is he will wonder what it would be like if I tried, and what his response would be.

Ryan turned away, gathering up the drawings. “How do I get to know you, then?” he asked.

“To begin with, I’ll do as I promised and show you the rest of the house.”

“Sure. Why not?”