In the Name of Love

Chapter 3-2

The whole not moving had been an act on Merrick’s part. He knew, from having watched Ryan at the park, the younger man didn’t need his subjects to remain perfectly still. He’d caught the arguing couple perfectly in the two sketches Merrick had seen, despite the fact they were gesturing angrily, their expressions varying with their words. He’d been holding still to get a reaction from Ryan.

“All right,” Merrick replied, tapping one finger on his lip. “For starters, I own an advertising agency. Not the biggest one in the city, but it keeps me in, what’s the saying? Beer and skittles?”

“Something like that,” Ryan agreed. “Although from what I’ve seen of your house, it does quite a bit more.”

Merrick laughed. “True, although I inherited the house from my grandfather when he died, so there’s no mortgage to worry about.”

“Must be nice,” Ryan said with a wry smile. “My family wasn’t rich. All I got when my parents died, after inheritance taxes and burial fees were paid, was enough to pay the part of my tuition the scholarship didn’t cover. Housing, food, supplies, all the rest…” He shrugged. “They came out of my own pocket.”

“Which is why you had to work while going to school.” Merrick corrected himself, since Ryan hadn’t said anything to him about that. “Or, I presume you did. You said you’d been at the restaurant since your senior year at the art school.”

“Yep. Could you turn to the side, please?” When Merrick did, Ryan asked him, “Did you grow up here in the city?”

“No. My mother was from California. That’s where my parents met, and after they got married, they stayed there. I’m an Angelino born and bred.”

“How did you end up out here?” Ryan asked as he continued sketching, flipping to a new page every couple of minutes. “Okay, probably because you inherited the house.”

“Partly. I also met a man who was looking for someone to buy into his agency. It was fortuitous both things happened within six months of each other. Two years later, I bought him out and I’ve been running it ever since.”

“Nice.” Ryan set down his pencil, flexing his fingers.

“If you’ll allow me…” Without waiting for a reply, Merrick took Ryan’s hand and began massaging it. Ryan was obviously startled, but didn’t pull away. “Better?” Merrick asked.

“Yes. Thank you! Can I hire you to do that on a regular basis?”

“I’m expensive,” Merrick teased.

“It might almost be worth it.” Ryan picked up the pencil and began sketching again. “Are you married? Have a girlfriend? Well, woman friend I guess, at your age.”

Merrick laughed. “That makes me sound like I’m in my dotage.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Ryan replied, looking embarrassed. “I don’t think you’re much over thirty.”

“Thirty-three and counting. To answer your question, no I’m not married, and no girlfriend. I like women. Some of my best friends are female, but that’s all they are—friends. If I were looking for more, it would be with a man.” Merrick watched Ryan as he said that, seeing what he thought was relief in his expression, as brief as it was. “Does it bother you?” he asked, wanting some verification Ryan might feel the same way.

Ryan shook his head. “Not at all. Why should it?”

“Some people take umbrage to the fact a person can be attracted to someone of their own sex.”

“That’s their problem, isn’t it?” Ryan pointed the pencil at Merrick, saying, “Are you trying to find out if I’m gay, too? If so, you could have asked, instead of beating around the bush.”

“All right. Are you?”

“Yes.” Ryan rotated one finger, indicating Merrick should turn the other way, facing the yard. He started to draw again, his concentration on what he was doing, so Merrick let the subject drop—for the moment.

Several minutes later, Ryan said, “That should be enough for now.”

Merrick got up, coming to stand beside him. “May I see?”

“Sure. They’re only impressions. I’ll use them to put together some full drawings. Then you can choose which one you like best and I’ll go from there.”

Merrick saw what he meant as Ryan turned the pages. Some of the sketches were quite abbreviated—his nose, his lips, his eyes, the arch of an eyebrow. Others were complete, showing him from the front, the sides, and three-quarters. He put one hand on the table, purposely leaning lightly against Ryan’s shoulder as he bent forward to tap one sketch. “I like the feeling in this one.”

Ryan didn’t move as he looked up at him. “Because you’re smiling?”

“I think so.” Merrick realized in most of the others, he hadn’t been. “Am I really so much of a sobersides?”

“Not that I’ve noticed.” Now, Ryan eased away. “I think you were a bit uncomfortable, although you’ll deny it. Most people are when they know someone’s drawing them, or taking their photo as far as that goes.”

“True.” Merrick went back to his seat, pouring more lemonade for them both, even though Ryan was putting away his pencils and pad. “If you’d like, I’ll give you the tour of the house I promised.”

“I’d love to see it, but not right now, unfortunately. I have to get to work.”

“It’s that late already?” Merrick asked in feigned surprise, since he knew it was.

“Yep.” Ryan took a drink before saying, “Maybe next time.”

“When you have something to show me? How long will it take?”

“It depends how productive I am. I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll start working on the preliminaries first thing in the morning. If it goes well, it might be tomorrow night. I’ll call you, either way.” He stood, slinging his bag over one shoulder.

Merrick nodded as he stood as well. “If it is, how about I make us dinner.”

Ryan seemed surprised. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I’d like to. You’re good company, which is something I don’t get much of.” Merrick wondered if he’d pushed the loneliness button too soon when Ryan frowned.

Then Ryan said, as they walked around the house to his car, “I get what you mean. Between my job, and my artwork, it seems as if I never have time to do anything with friends.”

“So you will let me fix dinner?”

Ryan laughed. “I have the feeling I can’t stop you.”

“Exactly.” Merrick waited until Ryan was in the car. It was an old one, what he thought the kids called a beater. If—No, when things progress the way I want, I’ll get him a better one.

“I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon,” Ryan said. “No sense in you cooking if I have nothing to show you.”

Merrick grinned. “It’s called bribery, to make sure you do.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Ryan replied, returning his grin before backing out onto the street and then driving away.

Merrick waved, though he doubted Ryan saw it. Soon, Ryan. Soon you’ll be mine, then my…our lives will be perfect.

* * * *

Ryan caught Merrick’s wave in the sideview mirror and smiled. He’s a nice man. At least he seems to be. He didn’t have to offer to cook dinner. I wonder if he really is as lonely as he implied. He’s obviously well-off and owns his own business. I’d think he’d have more people in his life than he knows what to do with. Still…I guess it doesn’t mean they’re really friends. They could be hangers-on, because he has money. If I try to be his friend, will he think I’m like them?

He pondered the question. I hope not. I like him. Yeah, sure, part of it’s because he’s trying to help me, but there’s more to it, I think. I sure hope so. I’d hate to think I’m the kind of guy who would use someone for what they can give me. No. I do like him as a person, although I barely know him, yet. I would, even if he hadn’t hired me to do his portrait. Not that I’d have gotten to know him if he hadn’t. He chuckled. “I know I have a crush on him, as juvenile as it sounds. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have hung the sketch I did of him over my drawing table. It would probably shock the hell out of him, if he found out.” It was silly, he knew, but the handsome man appealed to him on a very basic level. And since I know he’s gay…He wasn’t about to take that idea to completion. He knew it was much too soon to delve into the possible ramifications of their friendship going beyond that to something more—if they truly became friends.

Ryan wanted to call in sick, so he could start to work right away on the drawings he was going to do of Merrick. He didn’t. Not only did he need the money, but he was too ethical. Not showing up would leave everyone in the lurch. Other waiters he worked with had pulled that, though thankfully not often. Trying to cover for them when they did was a pain.

He stopped at the apartment long enough to drop his bag in his studio and change into his work clothes. Then he was off to the restaurant, where he didn’t have time to think about Merrick until after it closed.

On the drive home after work, however, all he could do was picture Merrick in his mind’s eye, trying to decide how he would draw him. He almost went into his studio when he got home to limn out a few ideas. But common sense took hold. I need sleep if I’m going to do justice to his portrait. That kept him moving on to his bedroom. He undressed, showered, and slid into bed. The last image as he fell asleep was Merrick’s smile. His last thought was—he wanted to make him smile more often. Really smile, because he means it, not because he thinks he should.