The Dark Nights of Winter

Everything happened so quickly after we left the palace. Alex was by my side before I reached the standard black Range Rover that they all seemed to use. Alex’s hand landed on my lower back, slowly ushering me into the back of the car. I scooted over automatically. Alex hesitated a second before following me inside. I flushed slightly, knowing he hadn’t expected me to move and was planning on heading around to the other side of the car. Royalty didn’t scoot. I was sure it wouldn’t be the first mistake I had made or would make. I didn’t know the plan, but I had made my thoughts on being royal clear enough. It just wasn’t me and it never would be. I thought for a second that maybe it was him that needed to learn how to fit into normal everyday life given that he seemed to have walked away from the crown. A normal life didn’t include being driven around in tinted bullet proof vehicles. There would be no need to be suited and booted every day or posh balls to attend. It dawned on me that Alex would have just as many changes to make to his day-to-day life as I would have had if I had stayed at the palace with him. The nerves started to build as we travelled the reverse of the journey I had made with Ben when all of it had first started. I remembered back to feeling as though my whole life was going to change. I hadn’t been wrong, but it had changed in ways I had never expected at the time. The nerves left me picking at my cuticles as we drove. Staring out the window at a flock of pigeons flying past above us. The birds were considered vermin in London, but that was when they were loitering in Trafalgar Square, leaving their mark on Nelson and attacking people trying to enjoy their limited lunch breaks. Except, when they were in the sky together, they looked more regal. A beautiful sight in one circumstance and a menace in another. It felt apt. A representation of me. In my own world I was put together, organised, and I liked to think relatively successful. In Alex’s world, I was nothing more than a chaotic mess, prone to knocking over priceless antiques. It made me worry that Alex would be the same. He was regal and put together in the palace, but when that disappeared, when he was in the real world, neither of us knew how he would be. It would all start once we got to the bakery. He would still be king of Aggnova for the time being. It wouldn’t be a completely normal life. There would still be palace business to take care of and protection details hanging around, hopefully in the background. The surroundings would be much more subpar than he was used to. I loved the bakery; I was proud of it, but there was no denying that it didn’t compete with the palaces and high-class venues he was used to frequenting. I could feel the feeling of unrest building in the base of my stomach as I considered what he would think of my humble, normal life. The bakery was in a nice part of London and had cost me a pretty penny to set up there, but it didn’t stop me from feeling like I was about to take him back to some sort of hovel. The thought only made me feel guilty. As though I was saying my dream wasn’t good enough just by having the thought. Alex must have noticed my nervousness because he placed his hand over both of mine to stop me from picking at my skin. Giving my hand a quick squeeze. I didn’t look at him, but I knew he was watching me intently. I could always feel when he had me in his sights. I closed my eyes for a moment and focused on the woody scent with a hint of lemon that always eluded from Alex. I had come to find the smell comforting over the last couple of weeks. My eyes were still closed when the vehicle came to a stop. It hadn’t taken long, but the shop wasn’t far from the palace. It was one of the reasons why I had chosen that location. Between the palace and Westminster, meant tourists and a lot of footfall. Alex made no move to exit the car. I looked up and watched Alice beavering away inside through the black windows as both bodyguards stepped out. Each opening a back door to allow us to exit. The very large man in all dimensions at my door, with his bald head and stern expression, held his hand out to me to help me from the car. It wasn’t necessary, but I took it anyway. I paused for a second stood on the pavement, too close to the car for him to close the door behind me. Looking around me at the all familiar area that I had looked at millions of times before. It was engrained in my memory from all the times I had glanced out of the window of the shop while I worked each day. There was something off, something different, but I couldn’t work out what it was. Alex joined me on the pavement and held out his hand to me. I hadn’t realised I was still holding on to the bodyguard until that moment. Dropping one man’s hand in favour of the other. I still didn’t move forward, until Alex swept his other hand around my back and nudged me forward. I heard the car door close, I saw the look of concern on Alex’s face, but the oddness of the scene around me was still pulling too much of my attention. I wasn’t surprised by Alex’s concern. There hadn’t been a word passed between us since we had entered the car. He had completed a grand romantic gesture, the ultimate one, and I hadn’t even glanced at him. He probably thought I was in shock and having doubts about us. If he was anything like me, he would have endless scenarios running through his mind. I purposely flashed him a slight smile, but doubted it did anything to ease his concern. Wondering if he knew me well enough to know one of my forced smiles. Alice would have spotted it a mile away. I finally moved freely. As though, the thought of Alice made me want to seek out the comfort of being around her in such unfamiliar times. The ting of the bell above the door seemed louder and more shrill than usual. “There you are. Ben mentioned the phone call.” She shrugged as though that was all she needed to say to explain everything. Just like Agnes before her she was slowly trying to tidy and fix what she could. Of all the days for Alex to be introduced to my life, it wasn’t the best one. My dream shop looked more like a shambles. When I had been considering it being equivalent to a hovel, I had completely forgotten the destruction that I had left behind me. Things had improved since that first day when I had returned home from Aggnova. The water was gone, the pipes were fixed, but the sizeable hole in the ceiling remained. There was more damage upstairs than there had been, thanks to the helpful plumber who had needed to cut away sections of the plaster to reach the leak in the wall of my pokey kitchen. I was just lucky it wasn’t behind one of the cupboards instead. “Is Ben here?” I asked Alice. Whether I wanted him to be or not was still to be determined. He was a friendly face and someone I trusted impeccably, but he still didn’t have the best relationship with Alex. It all stemmed from long before I met either of them, but his protectiveness certainly didn’t help Alex’s case. Ben worked for the crown. He was with Prince William when he had attended university in Scotland with Alex. The pair had been good friends and the friendship had only grown over the years. Alex had been in a rebellious stage of his life, brought on by feeling alone in the world. He had carried William along with him on schemes and trouble. Although, ultimately that wasn’t what Ben blamed him for. No, Ben blamed Alex for the death of a young girl. Alex had been dating her. She had taken drugs at a club and died. Ben had been forced to whisk William and therefore Alex from the venue to protect the crown from the scandal. He hated himself for his actions as much as he held Alex responsible for not managing to stop her. It wasn’t really Alex’s fault. He had no power over the decision she made. I knew Alex held himself responsible just as much as Ben did for the whole thing. From what I could tell from conversations with Katie, one of Alex’s best friends, he hadn’t been near another woman since in any sort of emotional manner. s*x was another story completely I assumed, but Katie had spared me the details. When we had been in Aggnova, Katie had been becoming a close friend for me too. That all changed when I walked away from Alex and the life he led. She blamed me for being too weak to stand by his side as his queen, nothing more than I deserved for being a coward. Alex hadn’t mentioned if Katie had accompanied him to come for me, but I didn’t imagine she approved of him chasing after me. She had made her thoughts about me quite known. I snapped out of my haze as Alice spoke. “He’s upstairs. Trying to patch the wall up himself. Not sure how it’s going though.” She turned to the counter behind her and flicked the switch on the kettle. I was glad to see that the electrics had finally been turned back on. Ben had insisted on leaving it for a while in order to let everything dry out before risking adding electricity into the mix. “You go up and see him. I’ll keep Alex company and make him a brew.” She winked at Alex and I couldn’t help the slight giggle that bubbled up as he eyed her suspiciously. It was just like Alice. He would get the same treatment as any other man she came into contact with. “Be good and don’t scare him too much please, Alice.” I crossed to the stairs, throwing a look back over my shoulder as Alex took a seat. He didn’t seem disgusted by my pride and joy, which dulled the nagging doubts in my mind enough for the time being.