"Wake up blue" tumaas naman ang kilay ko at ramdam ko ang lamig at lagaslas ng tubig
"Come on wake up, kailan kapa andito" dumilat ako at namatay ang shower habang bumalot saakin
"Hey, are you alright?" tumitig ako sa lalaki na nasa harapan ko, black hair, brown eyes, and red lips. It reminds me of something that i can't remember
"Kailangan mo nang mag bihis" himigpit ang kapit ko sa braso nya saka umangat
"What happen?" i ask saka naman ako nailang ng maalala ko na nasa shower ako at wala akong damit
"Lumabas ka!" sigaw ko saka nya ako inabutan ng karagdagang robe
"I find you, akala ko uuwi kana. But i saw your car. Sabi ko na may ginawa ka nanaman na kung ano" umangat ako at lumabas na sa cubicle
He's starting at my body like he know every single part of it
"What? You want to see my boobies?" walang emosyon na tanong ko habang nginisian nya lang ako
"I already saw a lot of beautiful bodies every day so thanks nalang" i groan on annoyance and throw the trash bin that i saw
"f**k off, ikaw iuuwi ko at ipapakain ko sa mama ko!"
"Not a problem, but eat me first" mas lalo naman ako naramdam ng hiya saka binato ng gamit na madampot ko
He laugh playfully and lumabas sa locker room.
Naiilang ako at parang mainit ang katawan ko, what he done to me when i loss my consciousness lately?
I slap my face and wear my underwear
I hope he didn't touch me, or else i will kill him with my bare hand
Nakatitig ako sa damit na isusuot ko, i walk to the mirror and watch myself to move
I look lovely kahit anong damit pa ang isuot ko, it's a curse that i born in a wrong family, my mom is a cannibal. My biological father despise me, papa hans died.
What a unfortunate life Blue
I smile at the mirror. Watch my reflection, pano maisip ng tao na kaya kong kumitil ng buhay na wala namang kinalaman saakin
How merciless i am, maybe i already have a special place in hell. Dapata handa na ako sa lahat ng mang yayare sa buhay ko
I get my things and walk out to the locker room, sa kabilang pinto ako dumaan. Hindi sa likod kung nasaan yung pulis na ginamit ko para hindi ako mapuruan sa pag talon ko
I can't find third, maybe he's talking with the police officer since anak sya ng General at kilala sya
At some point, pwede akong makipag kaibigan kay third, he can help me to get away. Pero anong agenda nya, what he want?
I am afraid to have a connection with someone that i don't know. Ayoko makipag kaibigan sa taong wala akong makitang pontensyal.
But how it's possible na anak ng general, tutulungan ang kagaya ko
I am almost drown on my thoughts, hindi na napansin na nasa parking lot ako, i open my car and umalis. Inaantay na ako ni mama, maybe she already know that the principal is dead
I start driving at may naisip akong pasalubong kay mama. Hindi ko pwede ipakita na nasaktan ako sa pag kamatay ni james, kapag pinakita ko. Baka hindi ko magamit si third sa susunod na kailanganin ko ito
Kailangan makita ni mama na wala lang sakin ang pagkamatay ni james
"Hey" bukas ang bintana ng kotse ko at may lalaki na nakasandal sa waiting shed at nag ssmoke
He look at me and smile, damn this idea. Nakakasuka
"Wanna have fun?" i smile and he smirk at parang hindi ako narinig
"Help me to use all of this" pinakita ko ang box ng condoms at tumawa sya bago nanakbo papunta sa passenger seat
He look good, a typical bad boy look.
"You're wild huh, do you know what you're asking for?" he said and caress my thighs
I fake my moan and acting like I'm enjoying it, damn this motherfucker
"Save it later, let's go to my place" i said in most sexy way that i know
Malapit na kami sa bahay at nakatitig ito sa akin, mas binilisan ko ang takbo kasi naiirita na ako sa pag haplos nya sa legs at pag kababae ko
It doest affect me at all, ewan ko. I don't feel anything
"We are here" pag sabi ko non ay bumaba agad ako at naunang pumasok sa bahay, sumalubong si mama na nag luluto at naka apron, nag luluto habang nakikinig sa balita sa tv
"I'm home" nakasunod parin yung lalaki at ginagala ang paningin sa bahay
"You did good blue" mama said and giggle. She give a hug and kiss on my cheeks
"I have this, and pasalubong" i said and mama look at the guy at my back
"You have a good taste ha" she tease saka naman ako lumapit sa lalaki na tinawag ko at sinundan nya lang ako ng tingin
"Let's go, i want to break that p***y of yours" Mama laugh at tumingin naman sya kay mama
"You can't break her p***y, but my daughter can break your head" he look confuse, lumingon sya saakim bago ko hinampas ng base ball bat
He collapse, hatak hatak ko ito pababa sa basement kung nasaan ang lab ni mama
When i open the door Frience look at me. I smirk saka naman sya imismid saakin
"Where is my daughter?" he ask habang inaayos ko ang higaan nung pasalubong ko kay mama
"I'm here" simpleng sagot ko pero tinawanan nya ako
"Not you, wala akong anak na demonyo" tinaasan ko ito ng kilay at tinakpan ang bibig ko. To hide my smile
"What do you expect. I have a demon father, you taught me to be like this"
"Wag mo isisi sakin kabaliwan ng nanay mo" he said at puno ng galit.
I wanna see him get mad at me
Lalabas sana ako ng ipasok ni mama yung anak nya at may tali sa leeg at nakapikit iyon
"Ma, I have a good idea" ngumiti ako saka kinuha yung gamot sa drawer at panurok
Nilagyan ko ng tali sa leeg yung lalaki na nakuha ko kanina at hinubaran ito, may malaking cage si mama na kasya ang limang tao.
Doon nilalagay mga na kidnap ko na ayaw nya pang galawin
"You want to get out of this place?" i ask the man na inuwi ko, takot na takot ito at parang aso na tango ng tango
Tinurok ko ang gamot sa anak ni frience at sa lakaki yon, may mga s*x toys akong kinuha sa drawer and i can see his horrified reaction
"f**k her, you want to have s*x tonight right?" tinulak ko sila sa cage at nilock
Frience daughter start crying ng lumapit sa kanya yung lalaki, she's about to fight ng baltakin ko ang tali sa leeg nito at matumba
Mama laugh wickedly and hug me at my back
"Stop this bullshit!" sigaw ni frience habang ang anak nya sa cage at naiyak na si Denise
"I'm not done yet" walang emosyon na saad ko ng pumunta ako sa kabilang lugar ng lab dinala yung ibang lalaki na walang mata at yung isa naman ay may uod sa likod at binalatan ni mama ang muka
"You evil b***h! Anak ka ng puta mong nanay" bago ko ipasok sa cage yung isa ay kumuha ako ng uod sa likod non ay nilagay sa metal bed
"Pleasure that dirty b***h" i smile and she start shouting in horror, nag senyas ako ng sandali sa mga lalaki sa cage
Kinuha ko yung uod at lumapit kay frience
"Eat this, and i will stop what they're doing on your daughter" walang emosyon na saad ko, mama is watching me carefully.
I know she's enjoying on what i do
"I won't!"
"Then watch your daughter, having a three some with that guys!" sinampal ko ito, she start crying the man without eye is about to touch her pero pinigilan ko ulit
"No!" he said, his eyes is full of despair
He love his daughter tapos ako parang wala lang, I swear that i will make her suffer until her last breath!
"Give me that worm!" nilagay ko agad sa bibig nito ang uod at inantay na lumikin nya yon
He cry while swallowing the worm
"You can swallow that dirty worm, while you can't take responsibility on bullshits that you done with my mom" gigil at puno ng galit na saad ko
Tumalikod na ako at nag lakad papunta sa pinto, mama laugh while clapping
"What have you done, bakit ginalit mo anak ko?" mama mock him
"Itigil mo na yang ginagawa nyo anak ko" he said and i look at him
"I can't remember that i said that" i kiss mama's cheeks
"Stop that ma"
"Make it stop" they're not starting yet. Kumuha ako ng tranquilizers at binaril yung tatlong lalaki na nakatayo lang doon
Hindi ko na sila nilingon. I throw the tranquilizers at frience direction bago ako lumabas at kumuha ng instant noodles bago pumasok sa kwarto ko
....
"James is such a good brother" maingat akong nakikinig sa kwento ng mga kapamilya ni James, this is the last day bago sya icremate
I know that i am a hypocrite, pero alam ba nila na ako pumatay sa anak nila?
"Thank you for visiting james" saka naman ako nagulat ng nasa harap ko ang kuya nya at nakikipag kamay saakin
Nag dadalawang isip pa ako bago ko iyon tanggapin
"You're one of his school mate?" tumango ako saka naman ako naupo sa last part
"Condolences po" he smile and close his eyes
"He's a good brother kahit na lahat nalang ng babae nakadate nya na" i laugh and remember the day i have s*x with him
I have a good memory from him, and i also kill him with my own hand.
Siguro napalagay ang loob ko sa kanya habang mag kasama kami sa loob ng mabilis na panahon
I hate myself for being a soft hearted, wala kasi ako kaibigan kaya ang bilis kong maattach sa lahat
"I hope he's happy in heaven" he smile saka naman may inabot saakin na album, a black album
"He's good at photography. I'm about to give this to you since i ask his blockmates. Tapos nakita kita dito" binuksan ko yung album, it's me. All me
Lahat ng picture ay sa school ay natake
"It's me when i am freshman" he giggle and hug
"This hug is from my brother" lumayo din sya agad at may sulat doon sa dulo
"He want to court you, pero mailap ka at wala kang ibang kinakausap. That's why he write this letter, last month nya lang yan sinulat" iopen the letter and i can feel a sting on my heart
"James...." i whisper and feel the cold breeze
Too late for me and for him
"Good bye, thanks for everything. I'm so sorry if i did it. Sana maintindihan mo, James"