Burned by Rejection (Book 4 of Wolves of Milano )

5.Alone

She sits alone in her room, contemplating her future. Can she live like this? She isolates herself from her friends if things escalate and someone gets hurt because of her. She would hate that to happen. She had barely any contact with Alessio in the last few days. She doesn’t want to know where he is. Her mother asks about him every time she sees her. So now Allegra takes great measures to avoid her mother even more. She is not giving up anything to them. She would not betray Alessio. He’s all she’s got.

So her careful plan is to slip out of the house unnoticed, go to work or college and come home as late as she can. She knows she’s being followed, she has seen the guys on occasion. They are too stupid to hide. She won’t give them anything to report back. Her Uncle can go to hell for all she cares. Although there was a guy she saw once. She was not sure he was following her, she just had a feeling that he was. The red Honda he rode caught her eye. But she only saw him once and from a distance. With the helmet on, she has no clue what he looks like. Maybe she was mistaken, but there was something about the guy that made her curious.

“Allegra!” Her mother calls for her. She can hear the door rattle, but the lock holds. Her mother can’t come in.

“Go away!” She answers. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“I just want what’s best for my children. Can’t you see that?” Her mother says. Allegra smirks in the privacy of her room, happy that mom can’t see her right now. It gives her pleasure to irk her mother so.

“Right.” Allegra chuckles. “You want what’s best for you.”

“Be that way!” Her mother exclaims. 

After a while of no talking, Allegra thinks her mother finally gave up. She can’t hear anything out in the hall. Blessed silence. Maybe she can concentrate on her book now. She has to study for the economics exam. If she can get herself to actually read the book. She misses Alessio so much, but she can’t call him with mom lurking around and eavesdropping on everything she does. Gods! Is this what royalty feels like? Always being followed, and watched. Questioned on everything. That’s no way to live. No freedom to do what you really want, because it might be interpreted wrong. 

‘You’re not studying. Who are you thinking of?’ Her wolf inquires.

‘Talking to me, are you?’ Allegra smiles. Her wolf has been sad lately and she refused to tell her why. It must be more than just Alessio leaving.

‘Who is this guy? Why is the red Honda bike important?’ The wolf asks her again.

‘I don’t know who he is. I never saw his face, but the bike is his.’ She answers. A smile on her face, because she is thinking of him.

‘A distraction. That’s what he is. Do you want to revise our plan?’ Her wolf glares at her. The golden eyes shine in the mirror across the room.

‘No. The plan stands: we finish college, we make this clothing line, we make it big. No man in the plan.’ Allegra scoffs. She pushes all thoughts out of her mind and starts reading the economics book. She will ace this exam, just like she did all the others. If she could forget the dream as easily as well. It’s back every night to torment her.

- Alessio won. Vito went nuts and banished him. Kara

- OMG! What? I thought he was hiding? He won at what? Allegra

- You didn’t know? He issued a challenge fight to get Grazia back. Kara

- Nobody tells me anything. Is he OK? Allegra

- Yeah. They are with Vesna. Be careful. Kara

- I’ll delete the texts. Thanks. Allegra

What the hell was Alessio thinking? No wonder mom keeps bugging her about where he is. Now all the shouting from before makes sense. No wonder dad was enraged. Alessio stood up to their Uncle and won. She had better make a plan to evade dad for a few days. It will do her no good to land on his radar. They might come up with some bad idea that involves her. Maybe she could ask Vesna to sleep over at her place? After the exams, it’s only a week and she’s done for the term. Can she last a week in this madhouse? If she throws herself into work and gets some study time there, she just might keep her sanity. There’s just two exams in the first days of December and she’s done.

Allegra walks out of the house in the morning and smiles. It’s crispy and cold, but nothing will ruin her good mood. If nothing else, that dream loosens her muscles up well. No tension in her body after the orgasm she just had in the shover. All she has to do is think of her dream. She strolls over to her stalker and knocks on the driver's side window. She laughs out loud when he jumps up in surprise. She startled him well. The Scary Cat hasn’t changed much since high school. Even though he was two years before her, she remembers him well.

“If you’re stalking me, you might as well drive me to college.” She tells him.

“You’re not supposed to know that.” He blanches as she joins him in the car.

“Oh, please, Dominic!” Allegra chuckles. “You live five blocks away from here. There is no good reason for you to be here this early. And you’re not even hiding.”

“Don’t rat me out. I need this job.” Dominic pleads.

“I won’t. Just drive. I don’t want to be late.” She smiles at him. He’s a man, she can charm him to do her bidding for a while. He might as well be useful if she has to suffer his presence all the time.

The lectures drag on today. She had heard all this before. Is the professor copying Vesna or was her boss just so far ahead of the lectures? It gives her time to think and she really didn’t want that. Thinking is bad. The dream and Alessio are on her mind constantly. If not one, then the other, so she hopes he’s fine. He didn’t call or text and the news she got from Kara just wasn’t enough. She needs to know more. Why don’t they tell her anything? She’s not a child anymore! She’s 22, but everyone thinks she can’t handle things? Why didn’t she ask Dominic about it? He knows what happened. He was there, probably. Is she too distracted by her dream to focus on anything else?

Allegra gets two coffees from the vending machine in hopes that Dominic is out there somewhere. She is screwed if there was a switch of stalkers. She walks out and hopes for the best. He can’t be comfortable sitting in his car all day. She knows she can’t do it. Does he need this job so badly? Is there something else? What does Vito have to hold everyone in fear? Because Dominic looked scared this morning. 

“Got you a coffee to warm up.” Allegra smiles at Dominic. Her luck seems to hold today. Maybe she can get some information out of him after all?

“Thanks. You were always so nice.” He smiles back.

“Well, I made it my mission to bring joy to the world. Nothing gets done if you mope around all your life.” She tells him.

“True.” He nods. He sets his coffee in the holder and starts the car. “Where are we going now?”

“Work.” She shrugs. “Unless you want to join me for lunch. There is this bistro down the street from Vesna’s shop that I just love.”

“I’ll just drive you to work.” Dominic sighs. 

“Dominic?” Allegra turns to him sharply. A wolf turning down food? Highly suspicious. “What’s going on?”

“My father lost his job. That sorry excuse for my sister’s mate quitting another one, so they are out of the apartment they had rented. She’s pregnant, she can’t work.” Dominic whispers. “They all moved to our house. I would sleep on the sofa if dad didn’t get drunk every evening and crash there. I can stay at the enforcers house, but for that I can’t afford to screw up this job.”

“Oh…” She trails off. Can she help him with something? He doesn’t deserve this, it’s not his fault. “Stop at the bistro anyway. I’ll buy you lunch.”

“Thanks. I know I can’t replace your brother.” Dominic nods and parks the car at the bistro.

“But you can tell me what happend.” Allegra smiles. “Nobody tells me anything and Alessio doesn’t return any of my calls.”

“It was bad. I think most of the pack is still in shock.” He says quietly. “The fight was a bloody disaster. I can’t grasp how Alessio managed to stay conscious after the beating he took. He was down, all bloody and bruised, and then he suddenly slipped out from under Elio and knocked the guy down with two hits.”

“What?” Allegra gasps. She knows her brother is not a fighter. He studied to be a doctor. He might have a temper, but only things get hurt. He was never in a fight in his whole life.

“Yeah. That was a shock. You have to know that Elio never loses. He's a freaking fighting machine. The guy hasn’t been beaten, like ever.” Dominic shakes his head. The sandwich she ordered for him is sitting there untouched.

“Why did Uncle Vito banish Alessio?” She asks. She wants to know now. 

“He was certain that Alessio would lose, that he would be humiliated in front of the pack and that human he chose. He even had Grazia shackled to the throne. Yeah, he’s got a throne now.” Dominic adds when he sees her gaping at him.

“Oh. My. God.” Allegra punctuates every word in shock.

“Exactly.” He nods. “Vito couldn’t stand to be bested at his own game, so he banished Alessio to inflict pain and fear.”  

Allegra spends all afternoon in the store. The back room and office are all hers today. Vesna didn’t come in. Allegra is sure it has something to do with Alessio and Grazia. So she does her part for the store, tries to study, but fails because she is thinking of that hot dream again. And then she checks her emails to shake it off. The calendar thing is well underway, she doesn’t have to worry about that. But Otto did send over a few promotional pictures. She gets busy arranging that with all the necessary information and posts on social media. They need the word spread and orders lined up. It will all go through Grazia’s agency and the fire department. 

So she calls Cleo to post the info on their page and then she sends everything to Signore Mutti. The Commissioner can get things on the official fire department page. Suddenly, she is the coordinator for the project. Grazia must be busy with Alessio. If he got hurt badly, he will need her to heal. From what Dominic told her, she thinks he was hurt badly. But she will have to wait for news. Nobody responds to her texts, not Alessio, nor Grazia. Her boss is suddenly off the grid as well. Nothing unusual for Vesna. She does it frequently, but why now when she needs her?

She’s happy to be involved in the projects, she is grateful for the job and all the experience she is getting, but now she is all alone and responsible for everything? She’s a student, not a magician. She can’t run the shop, manage the calendar project and classes. Damn it! And she has two more exams. When will she sleep? Maybe she doesn’t need to? The dream will go away if she doesn’t sleep. She needs to study. The fear of responsibility grips her throat and chokes her. She can’t breathe! She has the feeling of drowning and she gulps for air. 

‘Calm down! You got this!’ Her wolf barks at her.

‘I can’t breathe…’ Allegra panics. She is clawing at her collar. She can hear the fabric tear under her fingers.

‘Allegra!’ Her wolf yells. The animal does the only thing she can think of. She shifts right there in the sewing room. The panic attack is gone as soon as four paws hit the floor. A soft whimper escapes the wolf. She is sorry she did it, but she had to stop Allegra from physically hurting herself. 

‘Thank you. I need Alessio back. I haven’t had a panic attack this bad in years.’ She tells her wolf. He was always there for her. His presence alone was enough to calm her. ‘Shift back, before someone comes in and finds you.’

Shifting back doesn’t hurt as badly. It’s intentional this time. But the pain and shock of the shift was enough to stop her panic attack. She can't inflict pain on herself every time she panics. That is not healthy at all. She looks for her clothes and frowns. Her sweater is in pieces, her jeans are not doing any better. The only thing that survived was her shoes. There are a few ready-to-wear dresses hanging there, she’ll borrow one. That’s Vesna’s emergency wardrobe in case she ruins the dress she’s wearing. Allegra picks a nice violet dress that flows elegantly to the floor. It even has sleeves and it will go with Allegra’s jacket and shoes. She just has to keep in mind to return it tomorrow.