Chapter 7: Haunted By His Words
1267 Words
-Cecilia-
I will make you fall in love with me …
Lucian’s words had haunted me the entire night, so I had not gotten any sleep at all. His words and the thought of his touch, too, had kept me awake. It was hard to forget how good it felt. He had made me come twice before he had come himself. I had rarely come with Nolan, and when I did it was often with my own assistance, but Lucian seemed to want to please me, and he seemed to love to see me lose myself to the pleasure he brought me. I couldn’t let the feeling he had brought me last night overpower my decision. The thing was, Lucian might be interested now, but it wouldn’t last, and I refused to sit around and wait, letting my heart become his, only for him to throw it away. I simply couldn’t do it.
“Cecilia?”
I looked up from my computer and saw Lara looking at me.
“Yes, luna?”
“Are you okay?”
I nodded.
“Fine,” I lied.
“You look tired. Did you not sleep?” she asked.
I sighed a little.
“Not … really.”
Lara looked at me worried, and I tried my best to act like everything was fine, so she wouldn’t worry, but clearly, I was failing.
“Listen, it wouldn’t have anything to do about last night, would it?”
Last night?! Did she know something? Had she seen something? Or heard … Oh Goddess, no! No one could know about Lucian and me, they would never stop telling me how wonderful it was to have a mate, and that I couldn’t miss the chance. The thing was, they didn’t know what it was like being thrown away, and they never would. They wouldn’t understand what I went through, and I didn’t want to talk about it.
“Eh … last night?”
“About Lucian.”
“Lucian?!”
I was scared now. She did know something … Oh Goddess, no, no …
“Yeah, and what he said.”
“Said?” I asked, confused.
Wait … what was she talking about?
“I know he scared you away,” she said.
“I …”
I was so confused right now. I had been so certain that she had heard something or knew that Lucian had come to visit me last night, and I had … given myself to him, but now it seemed like I was wrong.
“I know he scared you away from the dinner,” she said.
“Well …”
“He said so himself,” she said.
“And … And what exactly did he say?” I asked.
“Well, not much. Just that he scared you away.”
I breathed out relieved, so he had not revealed anything. He had just made everyone believe he had done something bad to me, and it had scared me off. Good to know.
“Yeah, well … it doesn’t matter,” I said.
“It does if it keeps you awake,” she said.
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, I used to say that all the time too,” she said. “I’m fine. I don’t need your help. A mate? Who needs it?”
She recited all the old things that she had said on repeat because it was a good way to get people to mind their own business, but now she had changed. She had gotten mated. She was better at telling people when she might need help. I couldn’t let my guard down though, because it was just different. Lucian said he wanted me, but he had no idea what it was going to be like once the honeymoon phase was over. He would realize I was only dragging him down.
“You can be honest,” she said.
“I would rather just work,” I told her.
“Cecilia …”
“Please, luna, we are not really … friends,” I said.
She seemed shocked that I had said this.
“Am I wrong?”
“No, I guess not,” she said. “But I would like for us to be.”
“Why?”
“Because I believe we might work together even better if we knew more about each other,” she said. “I know in the beginning I wasn’t really open to any friendship, but I have learned how important it is to have people around you that you can trust.”
“I’m good,” I told her.
“Cecilia, I just want us to be able to talk about more than work.”
“Why? What else is there?” I asked.
“Like what Lucian said to you,” she said.
“He just made some inappropriate joke, that’s it,” I told her, just so we could end this conversation.
“It must have been a very bad one if it scared you away,” she said.
“I just didn’t feel like eating dinner with him.”
“They are not all like him,” she said.
“I know, but I just … I didn’t already want to be there, and he gave me a reason to walk out,” I told her.
“I really want you to come back with me and try again. I can tell Lucian not to be there. He doesn’t attend the dinners a lot,” she said.
“He doesn’t?”
I looked up and saw her shake her head.
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Why?” I asked.
I knew I shouldn’t ask. I shouldn’t have learned more about him, but I couldn’t help myself. The word had left my lips before I even got a chance to stop myself.
“I think it is hard on him.”
“In what way?”
“I know he wants to find his mate,” she said. “And he sees all of us so happy and in love, and I think it pains him.”
“So, he really does want a mate?”
She nodded, but even though I knew this now, it didn’t change the fact that he would get bored later on. Maybe it was just the idea of a mate he really liked. He had no idea what it even meant being connected like mates were, and I just knew someone like him wouldn’t enjoy it.
“So, if he isn’t there, won’t you come?” she asked.
“I thought I only had to do this once,” I said.
“Yes, but you only came over with me, you didn’t stay to eat,” she said.
“Lara, you said I only had to do it once, and then you would never ask me again.”
“It doesn’t really count.”
“It does to me,” I said.
“Cecilia …”
“Can we just focus on work?” I asked.
“I just don’t want you to miss out,” she said.
“I’m fine. Really. You might not believe me, but I am fine. I like being on my own. I was born to be a lone wolf. It is where I thrive,” I told her.
“I don’t believe that.”
“That’s fine, but I am not coming back with you,” I told her.
It was too risky … I couldn’t end up running into him again. It would hurt too much.
- Writer
