Lydia ponders about s*x.
1257 Words
I set my bag down by the door, sighing.
I knotted my hand into my hair, listening to Adonis' laugh, but hearing a whiny giggle of Finn's girlfriend. I sighed, relief flooding through me. Finn never had friends around when Mantha was around.
Mantha's full name is 'Samantha', but she's too cool to go by the use, 'Sam', but she's cool enough for 'Mantha'. She was a total stereotypical hipster. A vegan, only read classics and listened to Jimi Hendrix. Instagraming parsnips and calling it pot. Thinking that Disney movies that were drawn out, not CGI, were the only Disney movies.
"Joel!" I heard Lydia's squee, and her feet pit-pattering up to me.
"Hey, kiddo." I began to walk to the kitchen. "Want some Fruity Pebbles?"
"Sure." Lydia shrugged.
"Are you going to eat them?" I narrowed my eyes, remembering all the uneaten dishes Lydia has left on the dining table, including the one that came with the fork that I used to ninja-star at Adonis this morning.
Lydia glared at me, a deer in headlights. "Sure..." She repeated.
I sighed, crossing my arms. "Do you still want Fruity Pebbles?" I asked, giving her another chance. God knows we all need one sometimes.
Lydia shook her head. "No, thank you!" She giggled.
I chuckled. "Okay." I closed the cereal cabinet, empty handed. I wasn't that hungry in the first place.
Lydia sighed, holding her head in her hands.
I raised an eyebrow, "Something wrong, kiddo?"
Lydia relaxed her arms. "Not really. I'm just kinda confused."
Oh, great. The worst things flooded into my brain.
Why did you scream at Finn?
Why were you cuddling with Adonis last night?
Do other boys usually like boys?
Am I a lesbian?
"Do you want to ask me something?" I asked, worry prickling in my stomach.
Lydia nodded, suddenly encouraged.
"What's s*x?"
My stomach dropped, past my waist, past my thighs, past my knees, past my legs, past my ankles, past my heels, past my feet, over my toes and plopping onto the floor.
I made a noise that resembled a strangled frog.
"I heard Finn and Mantha talking about it." She continued.
I am going to hang my brother.
"And it sounds fun!"
...And make Mantha watch.
"I think I want to do that with a boy in my school!"
And feed their corpses to bloodthirsty hounds.
"Do I need to call Adonis?" Lydia asked.
"What?! Why?"
"Because last time you looked like a tortured rooster, you cuddled with Adonis and you felt better!"
Blackness clouded over my vision, pulling my down. My knees buckled beneath me, shoving me into unconsciousness.
"Finn! Call Adonis!"
_~_~_
My eyelids peeled open, greeted by the marble-like jaw of Adonis.
"Great. You again." I mumbled.
"Nice to see you too, Joey." Adonis chuckled.
"Don't call me that," I hissed, closing my eyes.
"Good thing it only took a true love's kiss, right?"
My eyes shot open, I sat up.
"Kidding! I'm kidding!" Adonis soothed me back down. "Calm down, you just fainted you can't move too fast."
I grumbled something inaudible, letting him guide me back down.
"See?" I heard Lydia's voice, seemingly taunting. "I told you Adonis would make you feel better after you guys cuddled!"
"Lydia!" I shouted, grabbing an empty water bottle and tossing it at her.
She screamed, dodging it and running back to her room.
I began to lay back down, but I met the eyes of Finn and my anger flared, like a flame when a Fire Starter is thrown into it.
"d**k brain!" I snarled, fighting Adonis' grip.
Finn jumped back, startled. "Wh-What?"
"Talking about screwing Mantha right in front of Lydia?!" I yelled, fists clenching. "Are you insane?!"
"I... I didn't--" Finn began, panicking.
"Oh, of course you didn't!!" I fought Adonis' grip. "You don't care enough to make sure that YOUNG EARS AREN'T AROUND TO LISTEN TO YOU CONVERSE ABOUT LOVE-MAKING TO YOUR HIPSTER GIRLFRIEND!!!! NOW SHE WANTS TO DO IT WITH A BOY IN HER CLASS!!!!!"
"Christ, Joey." Adonis grunted, fighting my wrestling body.
I deflated into Adonis' arms, letting him hold me. "You could have scarred Lydia for life." I croaked, my voice hardly audible. "She still has a childhood to live, Finn."
"I'm sorry, Joel..." Finn trailed off.
"It's okay," I buried rested my head on Adonis' chest. "I know you don't care enough to realize much."
_~_~_
SKYPE MESSAGE LOG: WRITTEN FROM THE SPAN OF 20:00-21:00
MESSENGERS:
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl (Victoria O'Connor)
TullyTull (Joel Tully)
.
TullyTull: This just in: my life is a disaster.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Same. I didn't see Kassi all day.
TullyTull: No, not like that.
TullyTull: Well, kinda like that.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Spill.
TullyTull: Well, let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: How rebellious of us!
TullyTull: Tell me about it.
TullyTull: So, last night I had a panic attack.
TullyTull: Adonis came to my rescue, which is bad enough.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Do you have feelings for him?
TullyTull: Hell if I know.
TullyTull: Basically we cuddled until I fell asleep.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: JOEL!!!
TullyTull: I know!!
TullyTull: The next morning I woke up and went to get some jeans out of the dryer, and there was Adonis!
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: He saw you naked?
TullyTull: No, he saw me boxered.
TullyTull: It turns out Finn had a "stomach ache" so he couldn't go to school OR drive me to school.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Man, what a d**k brain.
TullyTull: Riiight?
TullyTull: And then I started screaming at Finn. Louder than humanly possible, in fact.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: You take crankiness to a whole new level.
TullyTull: Tell me about it.
TullyTull: Adonis drove me to school and I cooled down.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: That almost rhymed.
TullyTull: He was being nice.
TullyTull: Very nice.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Joel...
TullyTull: Never mind. I don't want to talk about it.
TullyTull: Anyways, later on, I talked to Scott.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Really? How'd that go?
TullyTull: We chatted.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Is that a word?
TullyTull: No idea.
TullyTull: I think he's up to something...
TullyTull: Something...
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Gay? Yeah, me too.
TullyTull: What?
TullyTull: No, stupid! Something devious!
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Oh, right.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Me too.
TullyTull: He saw those dumb ass cheerleaders picking on Ayita, the Native American girl.
TullyTull: He said that he was "cooking something up".
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Did he mean meths?
TullyTull: Doubtfully.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: I hope Madison doesn't get involved in this.
TullyTull: Same.
TullyTull: Anyways, to wrap things up, when I got home Lydia asked me about s*x and she said I always felt better when Adonis and I cuddled, and she said she wanted to screw her classmate. Then I fainted, and I woke up to find that they had called Adonis and I tried to wring Finn's neck, because Lydia heard him and his girlfriend, Mantha, talking about s*x.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: You kill him, I'll hide the body.
TullyTull: Deal.
-END LOG-
SKYPE MESSAGE LOG: WRITTEN FROM THE SPAN OF 21:15-21:45
MESSENGERS:
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl (Victoria O'Connor)
ZoiIsBatman (Zoi Lyll)
LolaIsRobin (Lola Lopez)
.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Hey, Zola.
ZoiIsBatman: I'm Zoi.
LolaIsRobin: I'm Lola.
LolaIsRobin: That almost rhymed!
ZoiIsBatman: Yes! OMG!
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: No, it didn't.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Everyone is calling you guys Zola.
LolaIsRobin: Why?
ZoiIsBatman: Why?
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Because you guys are practically the same person.
ZoiIsBatman: Not really.
LolaIsRobin: Not really.
ZoiIsBatman: JINX!
LolaIsRobin: JINX!
ZoiIsBatman: JINX!
LolaIsRobin: JINX!
ZoiIsBatman: JINX!
LolaIsRobin: JINX!
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: JESUS CHRIST.
LolaIsRobin: What did you want to ask us, Vic?
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: I just wanted you guys to check on Scott, the new kid.
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Joel and I think he's up to something.
ZoiIsBatman: Sure thing, Vic!
Chocolate&VanillaSwirl: Awesome, thanks.
-END LOG-
- Writer
