*Harper*
Cocoa barked her welcome at me as I walked into the house. She ran and jumped up on my legs. Bending down, I patted her little head.
“Hi, girl. At least someone is glad to see me."
I kicked off my shoes and headed for the downstairs bathroom. A splash of cold water on my face seemed to help refocus my energy just a little bit. Jolee's dad was really a grumpy guy. Did he have to continuously make me feel bad about simply existing? It was a pity he looked so good; his mannerisms didn't match the exterior.
He made me feel uncomfortable, like it was my fault his daughter went out clubbing and got drunk, and I'd barely even met her. I felt self-conscious, like I was making mistakes, but even with all that it still didn't feel like the way I'd felt back home: like I just wasn't good enough, that I could never measure up and win the approval of my elders.
I decided to let my face air dry, the cool dampness on my face causing me to see a little clearer. I checked Cocoa's automatic water and food dispenser. After making sure its contents were enough to last the night, I made my way to the kitchen. I took out some frozen macaroni and cheese and popped it into the microwave.
As I waited for my food to heat up, I decided to open the back door to allow Cocoa to run around before locking up for the duration of the night. I, too, could use a bit of fresh air.
The door stood ajar, but the little dog eyed me suspiciously.
“I know you probably went out through the doggy door and did your business. But a nice little lap outside in the cool night air might do us both some good."
I walked out, and Cocoa followed. I sat on the swing near the entrance and watched as she ran around the backyard sniffing the ground, her tail wagging excitedly.
A beeping from inside alerted me to the fact that my food was ready.
“Come on, girl," I said in a rather hushed tone to Cocoa. I didn't want to yell and have the grumpy old man next door coming out to tell me to keep it down.
I was glad when Cocoa ran toward me and then followed me back into the house without much of a fuss. Letting Cocoa chase around the backyard all night might not be appreciated my Mr. Buzzkill. I closed and locked the back door, retrieved my food from the microwave, sat in front of the television, and shoved the food into my mouth without tasting it while staring at the black screen of the television that sat still turned off.
“What is that man's problem?" I asked, and Cocoa lifted her face to look at me. I wondered why I was feeling so strange. I really didn't need the old man's approval, did I?
When I put an empty fork into my mouth, I realized that I'd already finished the food, so I tossed the empty container and fork into the sink.
“Let's go to sleep, bestie," I said to Cocoa. She got up, and together, we climbed the stairs to my room.
I wiggled out of my clothes and put on the pajamas I had left lying on the bed. When I made my way to the bed, Cocoa had already curled up on one of the pillows on it.
“Do you know what the i***t said to me? 'You have done enough, bla, bla, bla'… So rude, right?"
Cocoa looked at me and didn't move. I knew she wasn't even comprehending what I was complaining about. I needed to vent to someone. A real person who could talk back to me. I wasn't about to wait and vent to Jolee about her father. That would just be weird. I collected my phone from my jeans skirt and proceeded to dial a number.
After a few rings, the sleepy voice of my friend came through the other end.
“Why are you still up? Don't tell me you are already scared about spending the night alone. Remember, ghosts are more afraid of you than you are of them," Ellen said.
“Afraid, no. Angry, yes," I said.
“I thought it was just you and the dog in the house. Did your mother call you or something? I'm sure a dog didn't upset you so much that you had to call me at such an hour. What? Did the dog poop in your bed or something?"
I shook my head and then remembered she couldn't see me through the receiver.
“I met this fun girl today, right? I found out her father was this handsome old i***t who lives next door who had earlier shouted for me to keep my music down. He even said I was trying to turn the whole neighborhood deaf, the prick! She invited me to go clubbing, and then----"
Ellen's sleepy voice cut me off. “Slow down, girl. You went clubbing? You, Harper, went clubbing?"
“Yes. I mean, what's a girl to do when they get real freedom for the first time in their life? I mean, you know I never even felt I had the freedom to party in college."
“Wow! So who did you go clubbing with?"
“My neighbor, Jolee. She is nice, but her father is mean. When we came back you should have seen the look he gave me," I said.
“Honey, let's take this whole story one scene at a time. So, you went clubbing with this Jolee, and what happened at the club? Did you show off your gyrating skills? Did you kiss any strangers? Did you drink?"
“Yes, yes, h*ll no, and yes."
An excited loud yelp on the other end of the line almost made me drop my phone. I removed the phone from my ear and looked at it. I could still hear Ellen screaming even as I held the phone a few inches from my ear.
“What did you drink?"
“We had some tequila shots and some cocktails," I answered.
There was a pause, and then she spoke. “You spat out simple red wine, yet you managed to do tequila shots?"
“Yeah. Everyone I was with seemed to be enjoying it. I didn't want to look uncool and be a party pooper," I said.
“I'm not sure I like the influence this place is having on you. I'm glad you are letting loose, but if they ever tell you drugs are cool, please don't do them."
I smiled. “I'm not stupid."
“So, have you met any cute boys?"
I wanted to tell her the boys were all childish. The only real man thought me a menace.
“I met one guy named Jack, and I thought he was nice at first, but it turns out he's a jerk. He wouldn't stop groping me. And I think when he hugged me his little dinger poked me in my stomach," I said.
“Hmm. Did you touch it?"
“Ew, no! Why in the heavens would I do that?"
“I am not very religious, but since we are talking about c*cks, maybe we shouldn't be calling the heavens. The Man Upstairs might smite us or something. So, if you didn't touch it, how did you know it was small?"
I felt my face warm up. “Well, it felt like getting poked by a bobby pin. I'm sure if it was big it would have felt like being poked by a baseball bat or something."
Ellen laughed at my analogy. “Baseball bat? I don't think you want a man that huge poking any part of you, sweetie."
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, I don't like Jack like that. He acts like a horny rabbit, and it's annoying. I want to tell you about my bitter old man next door."
“You seem to continuously revert back to him. Does he remind you of your grandpa or what? Wait, earlier you called him handsome. Harp, don't tell me you have some weird crush on some poor old man who is just waiting for his time to join his ancestors."
“Well, he isn't that old," I said.
Ellen made a sound before she spoke. “But you said he has a daughter our age?"
I shrugged, even though I knew she couldn't see me.
“I didn't say I wanted to date the guy or anything. He is just so annoying. A few minutes after I got here, he shouted at me to turn down the music. Then when we got home from clubbing, he looked at me as though I had been the one shoving drinks down his daughter's throat. I offered to help him carry her into the house, girrrllll! You should have seen the disgusted look he gave me. Told me I had done enough. Friend, her daughter was the one who instigated everything. Now he is blaming me," I said.
“Seems like you're too worried about what some old man thinks of you. You're young and allowed to have fun. If he's angry because his hay-days are over without ever being wild, that isn't your problem," Ellen said sternly.
I nodded. “I wonder what the rest of my stay will be like with him right in the house next door. I feel like I have a surrogate daddy right there, you know? Always nit-picking at everything that I do. I'm practically walking on eggshells over here."
“Ignore the old man and do you, girl. I'm really loving the new you and your openness to explore new things," Ellen said.
“Thanks. I am sorry I woke you up. I just wanted to vent. Cocoa is a great listener, but not a remarkable advice giver," I said as I reached out to pat Cocoa's head.
“Next time you go clubbing, please invite a sister. I am glad you called me. My friend is coming out of her shell, and I'm all for it. I just hope you meet some cute guy soon."
I laughed. “Okay, friend. Thank you for listening to my ramblings."
“Any time. Ignore your new friend's dad. He should focus on disciplining his own child and leave you alone. Remember, you don't need his approval."
“Yeah," I responded. I knew she was right, but I wondered why I felt the seeded need to get his approval. I didn't want his beautiful eyes looking at me like I was the biggest scum on the earth. I wanted him to… like me. Even just a little bit. I wanted to see him smile at me, not frown.
I exhaled, said good night to Ellen, and hung up.
“Huh. Maybe the guy can't smile. He probably has had so much Botox in his face that he's incapable of smiling, right? Those injections must have left him with a permanent scowl on his face, you know? He can't really hate me that much. He doesn't even know me."
Cocoa looked at me and then lifted her head to face the other direction. Great! Even the dog was tired of my rumblings about the old dude next door.
I soon drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep. I woke up to the glare of the bright sun and wondered what time it was. Cocoa was nestled near me. I raised my head from the pillow and groaned at the stabbing pain shooting in my temple that sent my head back onto the bed. Was this what people called a hangover?
I reached over on the nightstand for my phone. It was almost 10:00 in the morning, and I could see I had at least one voicemail because the light on my phone was flashing. I opened the message and stared at my screen.
The message was from Jolee inviting me over for lunch. I could eat but wasn't sure I was keen to face those pair of dazzling disapproving golden eyes. I wondered if it would be rude to ask if her father would be around. He might give me a scolding of some kind. I took the pillow from underneath my head and covered my face.